The Tree Is Up

Well the doc has given us the "all clear" to rejoin humanity. I'm not convinced. I'm not sure how looking in ears, nose and throat definitively tell me I don't have a bacterial infection. But whatever. Away we go!

I had a great Thanksgiving with the boys and The Ex. I still have periodically mixed emotions when he's around. But I tell you, as far as exes go, he's fine. We're friends. Memories of the last three years can derail that for me. It doesn't take much. But generally, we do ok. It was a good day. The boys had a blast even though we couldn't be with my parents. And of course, I made chocolate chess pies!

The next day, we saw the doc. So that night we had leftovers with my parents. A second Thanksgiving. That was very cool.

Today, I dragged out the tree. It's a prelit we've had since 2005. Last year, I cut off all the lights. To many big sections with no lights. Too hard to figure out which line needs the new fuse. It's normally lit with little white lights. Very classic. I love that look. But Lil'Bro asked for multicolored lights. It's different - especially with the LED lights. They're VERY bright. But I like it. Ornaments will go on tomorrow.

Today, I also made a birthday cake for The Ex. The boys and I gave him a little birthday celebration after his day at work.

We're also hosting my nephew - my sister's dog, Sid. He's such a good little dog. We're going to miss him when he leaves tomorrow.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Eve

I have so much to be thankful for.

I'm almost a year into my "new" job and still love it.

My boys are healthy, happy and great friends. Plus, they're still young enough to enjoy my company.

I live in a safe neighborhood, in a safe city, in a safe country.

I have shelter, clothes, more food than I need and we have plenty of toys.

My parents are nearby. My sister and bro-in-law are nearby.

My friends are sweet, loving and extremely patient.

I could go on. But that's it for now.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I Have A Job! ...I think...

I've been a bit busy. Thanksgiving was awesome. I hosted my parents, BigSis and her TallGuy. Not having to work is the key to a stress-free Thanksgiving. Or at least it is for me.

The week before Thanksgiving week, I had an interview for a job. Like all of my other interviews, it went well. And like all of the other times, I didn't get my hopes up. I have spent the last few weeks, admitting to God that I'm terrified and full of doubt and really am wondering just what it is He's doing with this whole situation. I fluctuate between absolute faith and thinking he must be teaching me some lesson where I'll have to walk through fire. But I found that finally telling God that I'm really scared and having trouble trusting him helped. Kind of got that guilty feeling off my chest.

So for the week of Thanksgiving, I didn't worry about it.

When this past Monday rolled around, however, I had trouble motivating. I couldn't face having to apply for jobs I didn't want. I couldn't face reading through job listings going, "Oh, I've already applied for that one." So I did what any strong person would do. I climbed back in bed and hid under the covers. If I'm asleep, I can't worry or feel guilty. I ignored my constantly vibrating cell phone. And when my house phone rang, I almost didn't get up to answer it. Almost.

I answered the phone to hear the nice man who interviewed me last week. He proceeded to tell me how well I had done in the interview and subsequent test. And would I like the job? Hmmm...would I like a job...let me think about that one. I nearly screamed! Yes! I'll take it! He told me a little bit about it and could I fax him this or that. I honestly don't remember what he said because I was busy silently jumping up and down.

I called my parents. I called BigSis. I posted it on Facebook. Everyone I knew was informed within the hour.

But I may have jumped the gun.

You see, when they offer you the job, it would seem that you have the job. Not so. When they offer you the job, you have said you would like the job. Then they have to see if upper management will approve it. This is where one previous job offer tanked on me a few weeks ago. When I realized this, my heart kind of sank again. But not too horribly. God's got it. This one really does seem like it's a done deal. But until I have it in stone, I'm not counting any chickens.

Yesterday, I went in to meet with my potential future 2nd-level manager. It went well, I think. So hopefully the approval process has moved up to the two people above him. They wanted me to start this coming Monday. I'm not sure they can get the approvals and paper work done in time. But I'm operating on the assumption that, come Monday, I will be sitting in traffic, honing my road rage skills.

So...I have a job! Kinda...

Thanksgiving, Derailing, and Rerailing

Thanksgiving:
My thanksgiving could have been very weird this year. It was my first thanksgiving without my future ex since 1991. I was worried I'd be mopey. No way. I had a rockin' thanksgiving!

I made brisket, turkey breast and ham. I had potatoes, carrots & onions in the crock pot w/ the brisket so those were awesome. My gravies were home made from the drippings and they were spot ON, man. I made pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, and 2 chocolate chess pies. Mom brought the green jello salad (yum!) and sweet potato casserole. Big Sis brought the green bean casserole, rolls & other breads. I made stuffing and some carrots in butter & brown sugar. Seriously, we could have fed all of you guys along with us. I had my parents, my sis & her hubby, my boys and two neighbors. It was so relaxed and totally mellow. I didn't have any stress of trying to be Martha Stewart. When you come to my house for a meal, you can expect awesome food and my house in whatever state it happens to be in at the time. Stress free holidays are what I'm all about.

I was so happy to be able to host this holiday. And to have the means to buy the food. To have the house in which to host everyone. To have friends and family that actually wanted to come. It was just FUN. I don't think there was any stress anywhere to be found. It rocked!

Derailing:
So, after thanksgiving, I had a wonderful Friday off with my boys. Just puttering and doing whatever came to mind whenever we thought of it. Another very relaxed day. I LOVE being around my boys. They are just silly and fun and make me stupid amounts of happy.

On Saturday, I think, Lil' Bro innocently said something that rather derailed me from my "I'm so strong and can handle anything" mood. He has been sick since the holiday - not too horrible but fevery and GI trouble from both ends. At one point, he was coughing and I said, "You ok, bud?" He looked very serious and said, "I dying, mommy," to which I replied, "Oh NO!" He quickly assured me, "I just kidding - I'm not dying." I told him, "Oh good because I would be SO sad. I would just cry and cry." Then he said, "If daddy died...[girl thing] would be sad." I was just like...um...ok...what do I say here? So I said, "Yes. We'd all be sad." Lil' Bro said, "No, daddy doesn't love you any more. He loves [girl thing]. [Girl thing] would be sad."

Now, I have to tell you, I get that he's just stating things as he sees them. I get that. But the reality of it was like a knife to the heart. It was just such a succinct statement of how things are and it's a subject that is very hard to think about - let alone hear it stated so matter-of-factly by your almost-4-yr old.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with at this moment is how I have been unceremoniously dethroned from my place of honor. I was figuratively ripped from my throne and thrown to the ground. As I lay there going, "OW! That hurt!" future ex was stepping on me in order to place his new queen up on MY throne - with MY scepter and crown! While my children watched. And everyone else, for that matter. That's rather how it feels. It is amazingly hard for me to have gone from beloved partner, wife & mother - the place of honor for 16 years - to suddenly being the annoying other woman. That instant shift that took place at the hands of future ex just blows my mind no matter how I try to reconcile it in my mind.

So to have my wee man just make that statement...it was more than I could handle. It did derail me for a couple of days. I can't really say I hit depression. But I had that sick pit in my stomach for a couple of days. I was sad and grumpy. I was mad. And I had to wrestle with those awful feelings of vengeance again.

The only good thing about times like these is that it forces me to turn to God. I wish I had posted about this during my bad feelings. Because when I post after I've wrestled with it and God has helped heal my heart? Well, it seems so...easy. I wish I was able to post all my hurt and anger and ugly side. I just feel like writing about it after God has picked me up makes me seem much more heroic than I am. I mean, I was MAD. I was angry. I felt VERY sorry for myself. I wasn't thinking pretty nice Christian thoughts. I had to turn it all over to God - which I didn't want to do. Just sometimes, I want to be mean. I wish I could say all of those things that run through my head to future ex. I wish I could be ugly - trying to hurt him as much as he's hurt me. But I wouldn't be able to. It would just backfire on me. Or it would make me feel like an ass. So I begrudgingly turn over all my negative feelings to God. And he takes them.

But that was a bit disconcerting to wrestle with. Guh.

Rerailing:
During those derailed times, it always feels like it will never end. It will always be like this. I start to wonder if I will ever fully recover from the dissolution of my marriage. I have no idea why I always let myself lean toward that thinking. Because God ALWAYS comes through.

I had kept all of this yicky stuff to myself. I feel like I have been a needy mess for 11 months. My friends and family must be SO sick of hearing about my pain. I mean, I'M sick of hearing and thinking about my divorce. So I can't imagine how my support system must feel. So I kept it to myself. And for my personality? That's poison.

At church on Sunday, I didn't sing. Which always bums me out a bit. It's rather become a piece of my survival. I love singing. It's cathartic for me. So I didn't sing and sat out in the congregation. But that actually seemed nice. I got to sit with my family for once. I sat there just behind Lil' Bro. And during worship, one of my friends came over and said, "I think [Lil' Bro] threw up." Lil' Bro was just sitting there all dum-dee-dum-dee-dum. But sure enough, there was a puddle of puke under his chair. So this wonderful friend sent me off to clean up Lil' Bro while he cleaned my son's puke. How awesome is that?

The sermon rocked - as usual. The fellowship with my friends was amazing. The kids at church just lifted my spirits. It was awesome.

Yesterday, one of my best friends at church - the music director's wife - she emailed me to see how I've been. She hadn't really heard much from me lately and wanted to check in. How cool is that? I told her how I was thinking people might be sick of hearing about my troubles and she poo-poo'd that for the nonsense it is. So I told her all about my derailing and how I wrestle with loneliness. And how the feelings can all come back and how I just want to be in love again, etc. At one point, I think I wrote "Did a lot of praying last night. Poor God. I don't know how he stands it." Her reply to that just totally made me laugh out loud. She wrote back, "Yeah, I bet the God who had to figure out how to create the world is totally overwhelmed by all your prayers. Maybe you should let up a bit." Hahahaha! I love friends that can just totally smack you upside the head in such a sweet and funny way.

And then tonight, I chatted with my wonderful sweet friend in Boston. I've mentioned him before. He's one of the few men I have leaned on during this - he's part of my safety zone. I was telling him how I'm just so sick of this up and down crap. I'm just ready to be 100% strong and OVER this whole thing. He's going through his own post-break-up so he gets it. He nailed it on the head when he said it's like two steps forward and one step back. But the two steps forward feel SO good. You feel so happy and so strong. And so when you hit that one step back, it just hurts all that much more because you thought things were getting so much better.

God has surrounded me with such wonderful people. I really wonder how people survive life without support. Thank you, God. Thank you for sending your people to be your loving arms, your shoulder to cry on, your ears, your words, your love. Bless them all, God. Because they are honoring you so well. Amen.

Thankfulosity - A Wee Bit Late

I meant to post a thankful entry before Thanksgiving. Alas, I was too busy trying to reacquaint my house with cleaning. So here are some random things for which I am thankful (not bad grammar for a math major & college drop-out, eh?):

GOD -
No, I'm not trying to win brownie points for judgement day here. I'm thinking that God is number one here because he has carried my sorry butt through 2007. This is a year that could have broken me. The dissolution of my marriage was almost my undoing. But God positioned me in the right neighborhood, in the right town, in the right church. He surrounded me with people who have already walked this path and could really empathize and advise. He showed me the true meaning of "Abba, father!" He broke down all the walls I had kept up - even with him. As I've posted before, he stood with me - neck deep in the cess pool. He never once left me. He never once let go of my hand. He never once gave me reason to believe he wouldn't get me through it. He conquered all of my doubt, my self-loathing, my feelings of vengeance, the pain of betrayal, my loneliness, my anger, my pain, my fear. All of the people who have walked this path before have told me that I am on the fast track - God is fast forwarding me through the worst of it. And that is very specific answer to a very specific prayer for exactly that. God has answered so many of my prayers this year in very tangible ways. And in some very shocking timing. Which makes me anticipate with a real excitement all of the ones as yet unanswered.

Mom & Dad -
I honestly do not know how I would have survived those first 7 weeks if my mom & dad hadn't put their lives on hold to come rescue me. Mom flew out here and lived with me for 7 weeks. She basically stepped in and carried my household and kids while I barely functioned in a zombie-like state. Dad sacrificed having his wife with him for 7 weeks. At the end of this time period, he drove all the way from Florida up to Virginia - ALONE - to start getting the VA house ready to sell. I'll toss in another praise to God here in that he found a buyer for their house in the 11th hour - when the market was worse than soft. My parents pulled up stakes and bought a house in my development - basically in order to rescue me. And I am so incredibly grateful to them for that. It has been a miraculous blessing to me. It has terrified me at times. Someone pulls up their whole life and moves to your area to rescue you? That's a big responsibility. I feel like, if I do one thing wrong, they'll regret their decision. I told that to my mom and she just laughed. Because she is mom. And moms don't just walk away from their kids - sacrificial move or not. Mom & Dad rock.

Big Sis & Her Ridiculously Tall Husband -
Big Sis has always been my ice breaker in life. She has always done everything first. She has gone ahead, cutting a path through the jungle with her machete. Then I just traipse right in all la-dee-da - so easy because she did all the prep work for me. She is the main reason I chose this part of the country back in 2005. And I am so thankful to live near her. She is the most amazing, generous & devoted aunt to my boys. And Her Ridiculously Tall Husband is the most patient, present and giving uncle I've ever seen. That man will play Hi-Ho Cherry-O, Candyland, trains and some made up Pokemon games with my boys until they pass out. My boys adore Big Sis and The Tall Dude. I do, too. They are also fiercely protective of me. That kind of unconditional love and support has been invaluable to me through my whole life. But this year, especially.

My Coworkers & Having a Job -
I've posted before about how awesome my coworkers are. I don't know what I would have done without them this year. I can see how major life disasters can derail you enough where you could lose your job. Because of my wonderfully supportive coworkers and managers, I still have my job. So I'm thankful for every single one of them. And I am hugely thankful that I have a good job. Especially being a newly single mom. I am one of the rare mothers that will be financially stable after her divorce. And not because of some settlement. But because God has blessed me with a good stable job.

My KIDS -
Their position in this list obviously means diddly. They were almost first but God really had a lock on that position. HA! They are both strong, healthy, intelligent, loving, sweet, ornery, contrary, joy-filled and oh so cute. On Thanksgiving morning, I awoke to have Lil' Bro standing at my bedside asking to cuddle. So I pulled him into bed. Then The Boy asked if he could get in, too. So at one point, I was laying under my big comforter with Lil' Bro and his stuffed dog on one side and The Boy on the other. They both kept snuggling closer and closer. I remember thinking, "Yah, THIS is how Thanksgiving should be started!!!" Pure heaven. They are the most amazing joy in my life. They teach me so much. They make me laugh. They hold me accountable in that brutally honest way young kids have. Every night, I thank God for them. And my words of thanks just sound so puny compared to the huge amounts of love I have for them. Sometimes I think of how I adore my kids to the point of bursting. Then I try to wrap my head around the fact that God loves each and every single person on this planet even MORE passionately than that. I really can't grasp that. I try. But just can't. Man oh man. I am so ridiculously blessed with those two gorgeous little men.

A Strange Kind of Freedom -
This is a weird one. I don't mean to sound morbid or trite here. But I have realized a certain level of freedom lately. I am free to be me and make choices based on what I want or what my boys want. That's a weird thing when you're used to considering someone else's feelings for 16 years. I bought a whole bunch of Christian CDs recently and felt so happy doing it. I was never stopped from doing that before. Not directly. But I always felt it would elicit a certain amount of covert eye-rolling from the future ex. But I bought a bunch and played them all as soon as they got here. And didn't worry about keeping the volume low. It was pretty cool. As I made my way through the new Super Target here today, I realized the same thing about buying items for the house. I could buy what I liked. I bought a few things today that were completely MY choices. I know it sounds silly. But it was very interesting to just satisfy my desires today. I told my sister that I won't want to date again because then I'll have to go back to caring about someone else's opinion. HA! But mostly, I have the freedom to follow God all I want. And I feel like I have invited God to reign in this house. And he stays. He doesn't have to leave and then be invited back. He is king of this house. And he knows he is welcome and wanted by everyone in it. I think that's a really cool thing. And on a lighter note - let me tell you, having a big bed and bathroom all to yourself? Yah, I have gotten quite used to that. Like I told Big Sis today, I'm going to be hard pressed to share with someone else some day. Hahahaha!

Food and Other Necessities -
You know, I listened to this food drive on KLOVE this past week. They were asking people to donate to shelters - a very small amount of money would feed like 20 people for Thanksgiving. And they were interviewing people who had recovered their lives from homelessness, drug addiction, etc. Each of them had started their return journey with a meal at a shelter. I was so blown away by a lot of their stories. And here I am, a newly single mom - able to buy a brisket, turkey breast and ham from Whole Foods - not just some generic items from my local grocer. It still boggles my mind that - in this country of plenty - there are homeless people. And I'm not just talking about the self destructive people who don't want to do honest work for honest wages. God has blessed me incredibly with a beautiful house, plenty of clothes, more than enough toys for my kids, all sorts of extras. I always have food on my shelves (no matter how many times I poke around the kitchen thinking, "There's nothing to eat!"). I do NOT take it for granted. I totally understand how blessed I am. And how fragile this life is. How easily that could end with one natural disaster, one act of war, one lost job, one anything.

Friends -
A long time ago, when I was a bouncer in that night club back in Boston (so this was back in the early 90s), I asked God for something very specific. I had a relationship with God. I talked to him ALL the time. I prayed even while in that club. I often prayed for him to help when things got ugly there. But I didn't trust people who claimed to follow him. Christians had failed me. They had shown their ugly side. They had shown they were full of crap. They were hypocritical, selfish, judgemental idiots. Just like me. I didn't need that in my life. I trusted God. And he is all I needed. But I really wanted to find other people like me. Other people that loved God and believed in him. I wanted to find people that I could relate to, that were fun, that enjoyed the same things in life as I did. I had begun to believe that it was impossible to find God-people that could be loving, truly patient, fun, interesting, cool, intelligent. So I prayed quite often - and over a couple of years - that God would surround me with his people. I believe my prayer went something like, "God, please send me your people. Your real people." And when I said it, I meant the people who really tried to follow God's word and way. The ones who weren't perfect and could admit it, but tried really hard to follow God. They weren't judgemental - or if they were, they tried hard to overcome it. They were real and loving and fallible. In my mind, I have always called them God-people. I'm sure you all have examples in your life of people who really represent God or what Jesus taught us. There is something different about them. But that's what I wanted in my life. I asked God to bring them into my life - surround me with his people. And he'd have to bring them into my life. I certainly wasn't going to go join some church! And God did it. In very specific ways where I knew these people were from God. The first one was the guy who played Jesus in our production of Jesus Christ Superstar. He was a rather well-known rock singer - huge in Japan and pretty big in the US. I pre-pegged him as an ego maniacal jerk. Because I'm a God-person and love to do snap judgements on people I know nothing about. He turned out to be one of the most sincere and humble people I know. We both joined the cast with the caveat that we would pull out of the production if we thought it was becoming irreverent. I found that out about him much later. We both slowly realized that we both really loved God and this play was much more than just some off-off-off-Broadway thing. That was the first God-person that God put in my path after that prayer. Since then, he has put them in my work place, my apartment buildings, they've owned diners I've frequented, he's put them in my blog walk (IE - many of you), he has made them one-time random encounters with strangers, he has filled a church in Cambridge and Austin with them, he sprinkled them all through my new neighborhood. It just blows my mind how he has never stopped fulfilling that request. And I hope he never does. I now make that same prayer for my two boys. And believe it or not, I have prayed that same thing for the future ex. Before all of this divorce stuff and since. It is one of the best tools God has - his true people. You start meeting enough of them and it can undo many years of cynicism and mistrust.

I'm Actually Thankful -
I could go on and on for things I'm thankful for. Isn't that amazing? I mean, when I think of the year I've had, I realize how easy it would be for me to just wallow in the self-pity. How easy would it be for me to just lean on the anger and become that bitter griping harpy? So when I spent this past week all excited and really thankful, filled with joy and happiness...I realized that God is walking me through this mess. He has lifted me up out of the cess pool. The big deep ugly cess pool is behind me now. I'm not quite out of the woods yet. But at least I'm out of that cess pool. And God is still walking next to me. Never leaving. His hand is still outstretched - ready to catch me. He has turned my heart so that I spend most of my time feeling joy - that anticipation of the ultimate good that I know he has for me. I think that's a miracle right there - the fact that I'm able to be thankful.

Thank you God. You rock. I love you.

An Aside: What Are You Thankful For?

While I might mention TS in this post, it's not really specifically about TS. But in the spirit of Thanksgiving Eve (a day I made up but love), I'm going to post some things I'm thankful for. And I'm going to tag my other blogger friends to post the same.

Now here's the rub. I want people to come up with at least 5 things (10 would be better). And really think. Don't just list a bunch of objects or obvious things. Really think about it. Maybe you'll throw on some seemingly tiny things that you take for granted every day. Maybe it's something you haven't thought about in years. Maybe it's something common but I want to hear WHY you're thankful. But just think about it.

OK...let's get to it!

1. My health. Might seem like an obvious one I just told you to avoid. But here's how I'm thinking about this one. Yah, I'm generally healthy. But recently, I wasn't able to walk well due to a pulled foot muscle. And I thought, man, if I was missing just one of my feet, ordinary things would be so hard. Like driving. Or being able to jump up, run and grab my toddler out of harm's way. Imagine missing just ONE of your normal body parts. Even a finger would change how you had to do all sorts of daily tasks we don't have to think about. I can see, hear, smell, taste, feel. I have both legs, arms, all of my body parts that haven't already been surgically removed. I can see my boys, hear their laughs, hug them fully. That right there is just tops.
2. God loves me and listens to me. Sound dumb? Think about it. And for the sake of this one-sided conversation, pretend you believe that there is an all powerful god. Now think about this...that god cares about ME - about every single one of us. And when I call out to that god, he listens and really cares about what I'm saying. And trust me - I am not a wordsmith. I'm not eloquent. And what I love? I don't have to be. There are some times I just sit there going, "God, I don't even know what to say!" I talk to him like I talk to anyone else. He gets me. Even if I just grunt. I don't know about you, but when the creator of the universe tells you he loves you and listens to you, that blows my mind.
3. Prosperity: I was recently told that the biblical definition of prosperity is that you have enough to meet your obligations and still have enough to give away. That's a very different definition than popular culture has given me. So, based on that definition, I'm filthy rich. I have enough to feed, cloth & house my family. Enough to send them to safe schools. Enough to pay my creditors. There's the obligations. But I have enough to have a little fun, too. I can buy a CD, DVD, toy, whatever, here and there. We can go out to eat here and there. That's icing on the cake. And I can give to charities, my church, friends and family. I mean, I don't have a Bentley, a Jaguar or a Hummer. I don't live in the biggest house. I don't have money coming out of my nose. But man, I sure have more than enough.
4. Family. This could be a whole other list...a whole other blog! I grew up in a great family (E.s.t.e.s family). The extended family, while distant, was a huge part of my life. And continues to be so. I have 3 amazing newphews from my E.s.t.e.s brothers. In 1978, I got a step-family (Jones family). We went through hell together until we got over ourselves and grew up. From them, I have 6 beautiful nieces and nephews. My birth-mom found me when I was 20 and I know and love her whole family (Ledgerwood family). She brought 3 siblings into my life and I have a gorgeous niece & nephew from them. She also found my birth-dad for me and I am close to a couple of cousins (Fegley family). I also have a sister from him and 2 nieces. Then my own little family - the most patient loyal husband. And the most gorgeous little boys I could ever have imagined having. Hubby's sister is also one of my best friends and she gave us a niece and 2 nephews. If I really got into the details, we'd be here all day.
5. I have a job. Yes, I kvetch about it all the time. But I work for a large financial institution that is relatively stable. I have somehow survived in the same job for 20 yrs and have missed countless blanket layoffs in the company. I hate the pressure of my job but the people I work with are cream-of-the-crop. Some of them are friends outside of work. And the job affords us this great house & community, Hubby stays home to raise our kids and also #3 above.
6. I love my church. How long has it been since I could honestly and excitedly say THAT? I grew up going to churches. And I enjoyed them all to some degree. But man, I have never been excited to get up and get there. I have never felt such a desire to participate. Honestly, whenever they have an announcement like, "We need help doing [fill in the task]," I'm immediately sitting there figuring out how I can fill the need. Sure, they need an experienced lumberjack...could I somehow take lumberjack lessons in time??? It's really amazing to me. Because, about 3 years ago, you couldn't drag me to church. But I found a group of true God-people. A collection of imperfect people all trying to get to God and figuring it all out together. No one shoving dogma down my throat. No one pretending to have all the answers. No one scowling and pointing a finger if I miss a meeting. It rocks.
7. I love chocolate chess pies. And I have to thank Lou Kerby for giving mom the recipe all those years ago and making it a part of my childhood. I grew up thinking it was a Muzzy recipe. But it's from Lou. And I've turned on everyone I knew in the Boston area to these pies. They're all bumming that I live down in Texas now. But I left the recipe in very capable hands and hope there will be pies a-plenty in Boston, even without me. Now, down here, our division is complete and all houses are filled. I've already made 8 chocolate chess pies and have handed out 7 of them (we ate the other one). I'm planning on making about 10 more today. I'll be keeping 3 for tomorrow and handing out the others. Sounds a bit too Donna-Reed-ish to be me, I know. But I moved down here not knowing a soul. Now, one of my neighbors recently commented, "You know EVERYone." Yah. Pies will do that.
8. I'm warming up to the mild Texas fall/winter weather. Last year, Hubby and I were rather upset at how warm it was on Thansgiving and that we put our Christmas tree up in 83 degree weather (wearing shorts and sweating). While I miss the classic New England change of seasons, I'm kind of digging the fact that I just ran to CVS this morning in shorts. I didn't have to bundle up in 952 layers just to walk to the car. I miss being able to count on seeing snow every year. But that just gives me an excuse to bring my family back to Boston in the winter.
9. I have a pet-free house. Now, this one is a weird one. This past July, we lost our last kitty. Well, he died. And I know where his ashes are so "lost" is a euphemism (I explain this because The Boy just read this one and pointed out my error). Honestly, I can't think of a time when there wasn't some kind of pet in my house or apartment. So I'm sad, missing the companionship and fuzziness of a kitty or two. However...referring to #7 above, I made 4 chocolate chess pies and sat them to cool on the counters. And I walked away! When I returned, there were no overturned pies on the floor, no pies with little kitty paw shaped divets missing, no nibbled crust edges. I mean, I can leave an entire Thanksgiving meal on the table without posting 4 guards. No cat litter to scoop. No hair to pull off of everything. In an odd way, it's a good thing.
10. I am so glad I live in America. Yah, we have a lot of people around the world that think we suck. I get that. I get that we actually DO suck at times. But when I can put my kids to bed at night and the biggest thing they have to worry about is where their favorite toy is in their bed? Yah, I'll take that. All those freedoms we have blow my mind. I mean, I can walk or drive down the road without fear of being killed. Oh sure, I might have an accident or something. But in general, the majority of us don't have to worry about dying everytime we leave the house. Yah, I'll take that, too.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I mean, that's all I have the time for. The Boy is waiting for his turn at the computer. And Lil Bro has already called his turn after The Boy. So I better free this thing up before I have a mutiny on my hands. Yah, if that's the size of the conflicts I have in my life? Life is good.

Happy Thanksgiving!