TheBoy: I've noticed some eye tics. Excessive eye rolling, a little exaggerated blinking. I've noticed some stammering when he's talking. Kind of repeating partial phrases before getting it all out. I'm chalking it up to all the late summer nights and early summer mornings. I'm not concerned.
TheBoy will start middle school this year. This area of Texas has 6th grade in middle school. I think we're both a little nervous about that. But again, I know God will rock the awesome teachers like he always does.
Work: My work just had the 2nd round of layoffs last week. It was rough. I made the cut but you watch others get cut and it's just a stanky week all around. So now we are hugely depleted in terms of staff. And we still have the same amount of work. My team lost one very key person. She has TONS of knowledge and her personality is the one we all tended to rally around. She made the killer cupcakes and brought the team love. That was a painful cut. I'm happy to be friends with her separate from work. But it's very weird not to see her every day. *sigh*
Church: Our transition from pastors Kenny & Michelle to our new pastors is bumpy. The new pastors aren't in our state yet. We pray for God to rock the provision to get them here. But so far, it's not happening. I don't know if this is one of those times we'll learn to wait well or if this is God saying this is not what he has planned. Either way, I'll wait well for whatever he brings.
The transition from where I stand is not easy - on many levels. They never are. I am standing in my skin trying to figure out where to shut up and just unconditionally support and when to stand up and say, this is a problem. That has always been a battle for me. So I pray. And hope for God to show the way. I feel a need to speak up. So finding the right way to do so will be my next task.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Blitzkrieg Update
I survived a week of layoffs at my company. This is round one of more to come. We expect more in June or July. There were many casualties. One of which is one of my two best friends at work. So that was rough. Fortunately, I know she counts on God in life. So once the initial shock wears off, I know she knows he's got her back.
My life is blessed. Not just dodging the layoff bullet. God's just got me feeling very peaceful and blessed. The imperfect me will try to unseat that feeling periodically. Fortunately, God is stronger than my wobbles.
Not much else to report. Very tired. Working each day, waiting to see who gets escorted from the building - it's oddly exhausting.
God rocks.
My life is blessed. Not just dodging the layoff bullet. God's just got me feeling very peaceful and blessed. The imperfect me will try to unseat that feeling periodically. Fortunately, God is stronger than my wobbles.
Not much else to report. Very tired. Working each day, waiting to see who gets escorted from the building - it's oddly exhausting.
God rocks.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
One Year Anniversary
This past Tuesday was my one year anniversary at my "new" job. I guess I can't claim being the new kid anymore. Oh well. There goes my out.
I'm on a new team now. God's keeping my back. I started out on a cream-o-the-crop team. In July, I moved to a new project. Another group of stellar people. I'm learning new tools and skills. Ramping up the resume which is always good.
So one year in, still diggin' the job.
Thank you, God!
I'm on a new team now. God's keeping my back. I started out on a cream-o-the-crop team. In July, I moved to a new project. Another group of stellar people. I'm learning new tools and skills. Ramping up the resume which is always good.
So one year in, still diggin' the job.
Thank you, God!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Briefosity (If That's Possible)
I don't have much profundity. Nothing to expound upon. So here are some sound bites running through my head:
JOB:
I still love my job with no end to the honey moon in site. It took Big Ol' Financial Corp about 16 years to kill the love. I'd say that bodes pretty well for me.
KIDS:
Pokemon Boy is doing well. No tics in sight. His anxiety over his advanced math class seems to be gone. Pretty normal school days now. Lil'Bro is right on track. He's starting to read little books to me. They've both adjusted to the schedule forced upon us by my new out-of-the-house job. Pokemon Boy has recently told me on two separate occasions that he's glad I'm raising him. Not sure where that is coming from but I'll take it!
FAMILY:
We've had some big scares with aunts and uncles. I'm "of a certain age" now where the generation before me has big scary medical things. I won't go in to details here as I think it's pretty private stuff. But lots of loved ones are on my prayer list for health issues.
LOCAL:
A very sad and broken man flew a single engine plane into a 7 story corporate building in Austin a week ago today. It was 10am which means all the businesses were in full swing. Somehow, only one person - aside from the pilot - was killed. That's one person too many. But let's be honest - it's a complete and utter miracle that it wasn't a blood bath. Lots of stories like my good friend's step-dad. He should have been in that building. But he randomly stopped for a haircut that morning. A sad and (in my humble opinion) disgusting note is that some skeevy lawyer for the widow of the one victim is suing the wife of the dead pilot. Some ridiculous nonsense about how she should have known and warned authorities. Unless he told her his plans and she didn't act? I don't know what person in this world would EVER think their spouse - no matter how disturbed - could do something like this. I may have a very uninformed limited view. But this lawyer needs to really step out of himself and watch his press release. He needs to see it like the rest of us do. It's disgusting and I hope the judge tosses it out the window. The lawyer with it.
OLYMPICS:
Oh my GOODness, I love the Olympics. I'm so sad for the family of the guy that died on his last practice run on the luge. That was horrific. But I am SO angry at NBC. The night of the opening ceremony, I tuned in early for all the pre-glitz stuff. With my 9 and 6 yr olds watching, they open by showing the video of the poor kid flying off the luge track, hitting the pole and basically dying right there. I watched thinking, "They can't be showing this!" At 6:30pm central, no less. Lil'Bro watched, froze, and said, "Did he just die?" Are you kidding me?!!! Did anyone at NBC consider the emotional impact to their viewers? Did they consider his family's wishes? The Olympic broadcast later made a point of stating they would NOT show the video. But NBC had already done it. And I'd like to shake the snot out of whomever thought that was a good choice for dinner time viewing. Brainless gits.
But aside from the brainless gits, how MUCH do I love curling? And how MUCH do I love speed skating? While curling is completely cerebral and relaxing with only moments of tension as I watch the stone slowly make its way down the ice, speed skating is really keeping my blood pressure at deadly levels! Oh my goodness! As soon as they start, my fists are up under my chin and my head is going further and further back. I can barely breathe until they're done!
I will be happy to watch Heroes again once the Olympics are done. I miss my Peter Petrelli.
JOB:
I still love my job with no end to the honey moon in site. It took Big Ol' Financial Corp about 16 years to kill the love. I'd say that bodes pretty well for me.
KIDS:
Pokemon Boy is doing well. No tics in sight. His anxiety over his advanced math class seems to be gone. Pretty normal school days now. Lil'Bro is right on track. He's starting to read little books to me. They've both adjusted to the schedule forced upon us by my new out-of-the-house job. Pokemon Boy has recently told me on two separate occasions that he's glad I'm raising him. Not sure where that is coming from but I'll take it!
FAMILY:
We've had some big scares with aunts and uncles. I'm "of a certain age" now where the generation before me has big scary medical things. I won't go in to details here as I think it's pretty private stuff. But lots of loved ones are on my prayer list for health issues.
LOCAL:
A very sad and broken man flew a single engine plane into a 7 story corporate building in Austin a week ago today. It was 10am which means all the businesses were in full swing. Somehow, only one person - aside from the pilot - was killed. That's one person too many. But let's be honest - it's a complete and utter miracle that it wasn't a blood bath. Lots of stories like my good friend's step-dad. He should have been in that building. But he randomly stopped for a haircut that morning. A sad and (in my humble opinion) disgusting note is that some skeevy lawyer for the widow of the one victim is suing the wife of the dead pilot. Some ridiculous nonsense about how she should have known and warned authorities. Unless he told her his plans and she didn't act? I don't know what person in this world would EVER think their spouse - no matter how disturbed - could do something like this. I may have a very uninformed limited view. But this lawyer needs to really step out of himself and watch his press release. He needs to see it like the rest of us do. It's disgusting and I hope the judge tosses it out the window. The lawyer with it.
OLYMPICS:
Oh my GOODness, I love the Olympics. I'm so sad for the family of the guy that died on his last practice run on the luge. That was horrific. But I am SO angry at NBC. The night of the opening ceremony, I tuned in early for all the pre-glitz stuff. With my 9 and 6 yr olds watching, they open by showing the video of the poor kid flying off the luge track, hitting the pole and basically dying right there. I watched thinking, "They can't be showing this!" At 6:30pm central, no less. Lil'Bro watched, froze, and said, "Did he just die?" Are you kidding me?!!! Did anyone at NBC consider the emotional impact to their viewers? Did they consider his family's wishes? The Olympic broadcast later made a point of stating they would NOT show the video. But NBC had already done it. And I'd like to shake the snot out of whomever thought that was a good choice for dinner time viewing. Brainless gits.But aside from the brainless gits, how MUCH do I love curling? And how MUCH do I love speed skating? While curling is completely cerebral and relaxing with only moments of tension as I watch the stone slowly make its way down the ice, speed skating is really keeping my blood pressure at deadly levels! Oh my goodness! As soon as they start, my fists are up under my chin and my head is going further and further back. I can barely breathe until they're done!
I will be happy to watch Heroes again once the Olympics are done. I miss my Peter Petrelli.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
The Job Honeymoon
Oh my goodness. I have no time any more. I mean, I have no time to sit and blog the way I used to. Where I can put together some funny and well thought out missive about whatever was on my mind that day. I can barely remember my name. Let me go see what my last entry was and try to update you. What a boring blog. Updates. Meh.
Oh dear. Almost a month.
I still love my job. It's been almost 2 months now. My boss has been cracking up at my over-the-top "I'm so happy to have a job" attitude. Once, we were having a discussion in my office with BossMan and AwesomeTrainerLady. The discussion started kind of hinting at some upcoming stressful times. He looked at me for my reaction. After a pause, I shot both hands up in the air and yelled, "WOO HOO!!! I HAVE A JOB!!!" He cracked up.
I admit, the honey moon is coming to a close. But it's still early in the marriage and I'm still in love. That's my allegory. Sue me.
So far, nothing has changed my opinion that I'm part of a team made up of cream-o-the-crop talent. It's a heads-down kind of place that somehow gets all the work done in only 8 hrs a day. And as I walk the halls, I know not every group is like that. So I appreciate the lack of chit chat from my group and the commitment to getting it done. They're kind, generous with their time and knowledge, funny and can work circles around some of their peers.
Don't get me wrong, there are moments where we exchange stories and get to know each other. But we "git 'er done" in our group. And I'm totally psyched to be part of that. Being able to work for two people that you really respect is awesome, too. The AwesomeTrainerLady is tops, too. Not only am I learning from someone who is awesome at her job, but I'm making a very cool friend there, too.
So right now, it's all good.
Oh! And get THIS - wanna talk about God rockin' more favors! Since I only worked part of December, my first paycheck on Jan 1st was only a partial. So I still didn't know exactly how much I was going to clear after taxes and benefits, etc. I had an estimate in my head based on how most of my last paychecks had gone for...oh...say...22 years. I took the salary amount and took away a third. So I was trying to make a budget based on a much smaller amount than I'm used to. No matter how I cut things, I was still in the red. I was starting to look at cutting out some things I was not going to easily let go of. I was a bit stressed because I thought, man, how will I ever save up an emergency account if I can only put away a teeny bit every month (IF THAT)?!
So at some point, when it really started eating at me too much, I said, "OK God. I really need your help with this. I need you to make this money work for me. Somehow make this amount work for me." And then I let it go. Not perfectly, mind you. I fretted here and there about it. But for the month of January, I pretty much let it go. So on Feb 1st, my first full paycheck went into my bank account. It was $800 more than I had hoped! I mean, SERIOUSLY?! How much does that rock? I sat there at my computer looking at it going, "God you really do ROCK. Thank you SO much!!!!"
And then, I paid a bunch of bills yesterday. I got ready to pay my expensive Cobra coverage (until my new work coverage kicks in on April 1st). I went to the Cobra site ready to pay the $400 and change. I pulled up the site and it said I was paid until March 31st. This is an awesome fluke of timing due to paying full price and when the boys' coverage was moved over to the new plan. So I didn't have to pay this month!!! I might actually put some into savings this month!
It really does blow my mind how much God cares about the little things. I never grew up thinking God was interested in the day to day minutiae of our lives. I mean, with all the global issues around, you kind of think your piddly concerns aren't worthy of his attention. I'm so glad God sent some people to me back in 2005 to kind of set me straight on that point. So yah, there is some really huge global stuff going on right now. And trust me - I pray for that. But I love that my God will listen to my piddly stuff. And he'll take the time to help me with it even while he's keeping people alive in the rubble of an earthquake. He's good like that.
Oh dear. Almost a month.
I still love my job. It's been almost 2 months now. My boss has been cracking up at my over-the-top "I'm so happy to have a job" attitude. Once, we were having a discussion in my office with BossMan and AwesomeTrainerLady. The discussion started kind of hinting at some upcoming stressful times. He looked at me for my reaction. After a pause, I shot both hands up in the air and yelled, "WOO HOO!!! I HAVE A JOB!!!" He cracked up.
I admit, the honey moon is coming to a close. But it's still early in the marriage and I'm still in love. That's my allegory. Sue me.
So far, nothing has changed my opinion that I'm part of a team made up of cream-o-the-crop talent. It's a heads-down kind of place that somehow gets all the work done in only 8 hrs a day. And as I walk the halls, I know not every group is like that. So I appreciate the lack of chit chat from my group and the commitment to getting it done. They're kind, generous with their time and knowledge, funny and can work circles around some of their peers.
Don't get me wrong, there are moments where we exchange stories and get to know each other. But we "git 'er done" in our group. And I'm totally psyched to be part of that. Being able to work for two people that you really respect is awesome, too. The AwesomeTrainerLady is tops, too. Not only am I learning from someone who is awesome at her job, but I'm making a very cool friend there, too.
So right now, it's all good.
Oh! And get THIS - wanna talk about God rockin' more favors! Since I only worked part of December, my first paycheck on Jan 1st was only a partial. So I still didn't know exactly how much I was going to clear after taxes and benefits, etc. I had an estimate in my head based on how most of my last paychecks had gone for...oh...say...22 years. I took the salary amount and took away a third. So I was trying to make a budget based on a much smaller amount than I'm used to. No matter how I cut things, I was still in the red. I was starting to look at cutting out some things I was not going to easily let go of. I was a bit stressed because I thought, man, how will I ever save up an emergency account if I can only put away a teeny bit every month (IF THAT)?!
So at some point, when it really started eating at me too much, I said, "OK God. I really need your help with this. I need you to make this money work for me. Somehow make this amount work for me." And then I let it go. Not perfectly, mind you. I fretted here and there about it. But for the month of January, I pretty much let it go. So on Feb 1st, my first full paycheck went into my bank account. It was $800 more than I had hoped! I mean, SERIOUSLY?! How much does that rock? I sat there at my computer looking at it going, "God you really do ROCK. Thank you SO much!!!!"
And then, I paid a bunch of bills yesterday. I got ready to pay my expensive Cobra coverage (until my new work coverage kicks in on April 1st). I went to the Cobra site ready to pay the $400 and change. I pulled up the site and it said I was paid until March 31st. This is an awesome fluke of timing due to paying full price and when the boys' coverage was moved over to the new plan. So I didn't have to pay this month!!! I might actually put some into savings this month!
It really does blow my mind how much God cares about the little things. I never grew up thinking God was interested in the day to day minutiae of our lives. I mean, with all the global issues around, you kind of think your piddly concerns aren't worthy of his attention. I'm so glad God sent some people to me back in 2005 to kind of set me straight on that point. So yah, there is some really huge global stuff going on right now. And trust me - I pray for that. But I love that my God will listen to my piddly stuff. And he'll take the time to help me with it even while he's keeping people alive in the rubble of an earthquake. He's good like that.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Awesome And Scattered
An update for the new year. That's what I've promised you. The two of you that read this (Hi Uncle Dan!). It's gonna be a bit all over the place. Some awesome things are happening and some stressful times are hitting. It never comes when scheduled, does it!
Let me go look to see what my last real update was. Hold on...
Oh yah. We'll start with the good stuff. So yah, the JOB! Woo hoo! I've been working at the new job since Dec 14th. I still love it. Today, my project manager was amused at my gung-ho Pollyanna "I love my job" attitude. He said, "Don't worry. We'll crush your soul eventually." Not a chance. If my last job couldn't, it ain't gonna happen. So on the job front: awesome job description, awesome coworkers, awesome bosses, awesome project. Yah. I'm diggin' it. Also, they're slowly being exposed to and getting used to my humor. Mwah ha ha ha ha!
New Years was nice and mellow. The Ex was in town to visit the boys. We hung out more than my family would probably want. We are friendly and get along. God has been working some amazing forgiveness into my heart. Also, some compassion. You know, when someone crashes and burns their life - even if it takes a large chunk of yours with it for a while - it's never fun to watch. And the boys love him. So we hung a few times.
The strange thing about hanging with The Ex is our attempts at talking. It doesn't always work but we have been slowly trying to find resolution on as many issues that contributed to our demise as possible. Any of you divorced people know that's a rare thing. Even if the desire to try to find some closure is there, it rarely ever happens. We had some good talks. We have both been able to bring a few things to the table, lay them out, own up to them and apologize. It's not perfect. I can't say I never flare up and toss a few digs at him. But there is a slow process of communication going on here that I know doesn't often happen between exes. And I appreciate it. Just knowing he's not a complete evil horror show is helpful.
My brain is a bit fried right now. I'm not quite used to my new work schedule. I am up between 5-5:30am each morning (and I am NOT a morning person). The boys get up at 6am now - an hour early for them. And the not-morning-person thing is apparently genetic. But we'll adjust eventually.
School is going well. They have their moments. Pokemon Boy had some struggles with going back after winter break. Also, every time his dad visits and then leaves, he has a rough week or two. Hopefully we're over all of that.
We have a lot of family illnesses and injuries happening all at once. I am not really in a frame of mind to go into the details. But there is a LOT of prayer going on in our family at the moment. And of course, prayers for Haiti dominate a lot of my time.
I'm really way too scattered to make this any kind of interesting. I promise to be a bit more coherent and linear in my next post.
Smooches, y'all.
Let me go look to see what my last real update was. Hold on...
Oh yah. We'll start with the good stuff. So yah, the JOB! Woo hoo! I've been working at the new job since Dec 14th. I still love it. Today, my project manager was amused at my gung-ho Pollyanna "I love my job" attitude. He said, "Don't worry. We'll crush your soul eventually." Not a chance. If my last job couldn't, it ain't gonna happen. So on the job front: awesome job description, awesome coworkers, awesome bosses, awesome project. Yah. I'm diggin' it. Also, they're slowly being exposed to and getting used to my humor. Mwah ha ha ha ha!
New Years was nice and mellow. The Ex was in town to visit the boys. We hung out more than my family would probably want. We are friendly and get along. God has been working some amazing forgiveness into my heart. Also, some compassion. You know, when someone crashes and burns their life - even if it takes a large chunk of yours with it for a while - it's never fun to watch. And the boys love him. So we hung a few times.
The strange thing about hanging with The Ex is our attempts at talking. It doesn't always work but we have been slowly trying to find resolution on as many issues that contributed to our demise as possible. Any of you divorced people know that's a rare thing. Even if the desire to try to find some closure is there, it rarely ever happens. We had some good talks. We have both been able to bring a few things to the table, lay them out, own up to them and apologize. It's not perfect. I can't say I never flare up and toss a few digs at him. But there is a slow process of communication going on here that I know doesn't often happen between exes. And I appreciate it. Just knowing he's not a complete evil horror show is helpful.
My brain is a bit fried right now. I'm not quite used to my new work schedule. I am up between 5-5:30am each morning (and I am NOT a morning person). The boys get up at 6am now - an hour early for them. And the not-morning-person thing is apparently genetic. But we'll adjust eventually.
School is going well. They have their moments. Pokemon Boy had some struggles with going back after winter break. Also, every time his dad visits and then leaves, he has a rough week or two. Hopefully we're over all of that.
We have a lot of family illnesses and injuries happening all at once. I am not really in a frame of mind to go into the details. But there is a LOT of prayer going on in our family at the moment. And of course, prayers for Haiti dominate a lot of my time.
I'm really way too scattered to make this any kind of interesting. I promise to be a bit more coherent and linear in my next post.
Smooches, y'all.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The New Job (A Day Late)
This should have been posted yesterday. But it was crazy and exhausting so I'm posting it today. I'm also cheating by cutting and pasting what I put on Facebook. Sue me.
Monday, Day 1:
Dudes, I hope you appreciate this. I am so friggin' tired. And sore. But very happy. I put down the iPod, got out of bed, fired up the computer and am typing this update because I can't type this much with two fingers.
I woke up at 5:15am. Unless you know me, you really can't appreciate the miracle here. I am not a morning person. I'm not sure who invented mornings. But they were mean and hateful. I got my kids up 50 minutes before they normal get up. And this, after a late (but awesome) night at church.
I dropped the boys off at day care at 6:30am. The boys weren't thrilled about it but they are troopers. They know "mom has a job" trumps "I hate early mornings".
I left the day care around 6:45am which misses the hellish rush hour. I made it downtown by 7:15am. I parked on the 8th floor of a state employee parking lot which I thought had no elevators (this will come to play later).
I got to the orientation conference room at 7:33am - way early. A really cool lady dragged me into her office saying, "Tell me who you are, where you came from and what you're going to be doing here!" She rocked. She must have had like 17 cups of coffee. She was from NYC so we bonded on the north-eastern-chicks-rock thing.
Orientation started at 8am and went to about 11am. We got a quick tour of the building which included some huge room where they were prepping a Christmas party - complete with amazing smelling BBQ!
11:30am - my new boss came to get me for lunch. And proceeds to take me to the afore mentioned really amazing smelling BBQ room. So on my first day, I got to participate in the IT Christmas party. Sweeeeeeeet!
Later, I had to register my car for the free state employee parking (woot!). So I ran up the 8 flights of stairs in the parking lot to get my registration from my car. Well, I ran up about 5 flights and then pretty much dragged myself up the last 3, gasping like the out of shape suburban mom I am.
The rest of the orientation lasted until about 4:00pm. Complete with a video outlining one of the agency's procedures. All my former Big Financial Corporation coworkers will enjoy conjuring visions of all of the "superbly acted" corporate education videos we endured. Seriously, the kids in the Peanuts cartoons can read their lines better than these. It was a hoot. It had this horrid screeching string quartet as the "incidental music". The poor instructor looked like he was going to put knitting needles through his ears. He said he has to listen to that video EVERY Monday. He's a musician and now refuses to play his own violin. HA! Anyway, made me recall many hours of corporate videos over the last 22 years.
I got to see my new...um...office...er...desk...er...converted supply closet ala 'Office Space'. I think tomorrow, I will bring my own stapler and clutch it to my chest all day.
I don't really care. They created a space for me. I share this little supply closet with two other people. The one I met is awesome. I asked her if she was ok with me bringing in my 'Precious Moments' figurines and could she help me figure out where to place them. She laughed hard which gives me great hope.
Also, my new boss is super nice. When I would tell people who I was working for, they'd all go, "Oh he is like the nicest guy!" And apparently knows his stuff. I'm told my new PM is quick thinking, very focused and doesn't like excuses or drama (those last two are his words). I told him I just finished swimming in a shark tank. I can hack it. We'll see if I can still swim.
Everyone I met today seems really nice. I'm sure there are the usual mix of characters and personalities.
The benefits rock. Health, dental, wellness initiatives, optional life and all that stuff. The official state holidays we get off are great. Plus, they just this year started giving "early release" days on a schedule. So you can know that you'll be released after 4 hrs on, say, Dec 23rd. So you can actually PLAN something in stead of being told 3 seconds before it happens. VERY cool.
Clothes are "business casual" but on Fridays, it's "jeans and tennies". I'm quoting. I'm not sure I own "tennies" but my pink Chucks will have to suffice.
I have not been around an IT group this calm in...well...EVER. There are stress times, don't get me wrong. But not like the sweat shops most of me and my IT pals are used to. They don't like you to work OT. If you do, you get COMP TIME! What is THAT about?! I told them, I just finished working for a company that thinks working 40 hrs a week is slacking. Can you imagine? I'm in heaven.
Oh and here's a chuckle: So when I left for the day, I walked up those 8 flights of stairs again. I was dying. As I drove out of the parking lot, I pass a big sign on the wall: "ELEVATOR-->". DOH!!!
So...day one is done. It's a 12 hr day for my boys. That's my only regret. But they'll get used to it and I will make sure the weekends are family time. They're going to let me work 7:30a-4p with a 30 min lunch. I opted for 30 mins in stead of an hour so I could leave and miss the worst of the rush hour and have more time with the kids doing homework and such.
I think this is going to rock. I'll let you know.
Tue, Day 2:
I'm still loving it. I'm being introduced to a gazillion people and only remember about 3. I'm doing a lot of reading and getting overviews from people. Everyone is being extremely generous with their time. Their tools & software are a bit different but similar to what I've used before. So nothing (so far) is making me think I'm out of my element. I just want to do a really good job. This state agency is one of the best. So I want to help by adding to the "cream of the crop" thing.
The funniest adjustment for me today was returning to Windows after a year on a Mac. Outlook is way different since I last used it in...oh...when did we can that? Maybe 2002? But hey, if that's the worst of it, I'll do ok.
All in all - WOO HOO!!!
Thanks to everyone for praying for me. Thanks for all of the encouraging notes on here or in emails. Thanks for the text messages and phone calls today. I did see everyone's texts today but couldn't really justify replying ("Hi, I know it's my first day but let me just reply to my friend..."). And tonight, my bro-in-law and niece just got in so I went from work to day care to my mom & dad's house. Then I got home and tossed the boys in bed. I was in bed before 9pm. But decided to come down and type all of this for those that care for way too many details.
You all rock. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing cheering section!
Monday, Day 1:
Dudes, I hope you appreciate this. I am so friggin' tired. And sore. But very happy. I put down the iPod, got out of bed, fired up the computer and am typing this update because I can't type this much with two fingers.
I woke up at 5:15am. Unless you know me, you really can't appreciate the miracle here. I am not a morning person. I'm not sure who invented mornings. But they were mean and hateful. I got my kids up 50 minutes before they normal get up. And this, after a late (but awesome) night at church.
I dropped the boys off at day care at 6:30am. The boys weren't thrilled about it but they are troopers. They know "mom has a job" trumps "I hate early mornings".
I left the day care around 6:45am which misses the hellish rush hour. I made it downtown by 7:15am. I parked on the 8th floor of a state employee parking lot which I thought had no elevators (this will come to play later).
I got to the orientation conference room at 7:33am - way early. A really cool lady dragged me into her office saying, "Tell me who you are, where you came from and what you're going to be doing here!" She rocked. She must have had like 17 cups of coffee. She was from NYC so we bonded on the north-eastern-chicks-rock thing.
Orientation started at 8am and went to about 11am. We got a quick tour of the building which included some huge room where they were prepping a Christmas party - complete with amazing smelling BBQ!
11:30am - my new boss came to get me for lunch. And proceeds to take me to the afore mentioned really amazing smelling BBQ room. So on my first day, I got to participate in the IT Christmas party. Sweeeeeeeet!
Later, I had to register my car for the free state employee parking (woot!). So I ran up the 8 flights of stairs in the parking lot to get my registration from my car. Well, I ran up about 5 flights and then pretty much dragged myself up the last 3, gasping like the out of shape suburban mom I am.
The rest of the orientation lasted until about 4:00pm. Complete with a video outlining one of the agency's procedures. All my former Big Financial Corporation coworkers will enjoy conjuring visions of all of the "superbly acted" corporate education videos we endured. Seriously, the kids in the Peanuts cartoons can read their lines better than these. It was a hoot. It had this horrid screeching string quartet as the "incidental music". The poor instructor looked like he was going to put knitting needles through his ears. He said he has to listen to that video EVERY Monday. He's a musician and now refuses to play his own violin. HA! Anyway, made me recall many hours of corporate videos over the last 22 years.
I got to see my new...um...office...er...desk...er...converted supply closet ala 'Office Space'. I think tomorrow, I will bring my own stapler and clutch it to my chest all day.
I don't really care. They created a space for me. I share this little supply closet with two other people. The one I met is awesome. I asked her if she was ok with me bringing in my 'Precious Moments' figurines and could she help me figure out where to place them. She laughed hard which gives me great hope.
Also, my new boss is super nice. When I would tell people who I was working for, they'd all go, "Oh he is like the nicest guy!" And apparently knows his stuff. I'm told my new PM is quick thinking, very focused and doesn't like excuses or drama (those last two are his words). I told him I just finished swimming in a shark tank. I can hack it. We'll see if I can still swim.
Everyone I met today seems really nice. I'm sure there are the usual mix of characters and personalities.
The benefits rock. Health, dental, wellness initiatives, optional life and all that stuff. The official state holidays we get off are great. Plus, they just this year started giving "early release" days on a schedule. So you can know that you'll be released after 4 hrs on, say, Dec 23rd. So you can actually PLAN something in stead of being told 3 seconds before it happens. VERY cool.
Clothes are "business casual" but on Fridays, it's "jeans and tennies". I'm quoting. I'm not sure I own "tennies" but my pink Chucks will have to suffice.
I have not been around an IT group this calm in...well...EVER. There are stress times, don't get me wrong. But not like the sweat shops most of me and my IT pals are used to. They don't like you to work OT. If you do, you get COMP TIME! What is THAT about?! I told them, I just finished working for a company that thinks working 40 hrs a week is slacking. Can you imagine? I'm in heaven.
Oh and here's a chuckle: So when I left for the day, I walked up those 8 flights of stairs again. I was dying. As I drove out of the parking lot, I pass a big sign on the wall: "ELEVATOR-->". DOH!!!
So...day one is done. It's a 12 hr day for my boys. That's my only regret. But they'll get used to it and I will make sure the weekends are family time. They're going to let me work 7:30a-4p with a 30 min lunch. I opted for 30 mins in stead of an hour so I could leave and miss the worst of the rush hour and have more time with the kids doing homework and such.
I think this is going to rock. I'll let you know.
Tue, Day 2:
I'm still loving it. I'm being introduced to a gazillion people and only remember about 3. I'm doing a lot of reading and getting overviews from people. Everyone is being extremely generous with their time. Their tools & software are a bit different but similar to what I've used before. So nothing (so far) is making me think I'm out of my element. I just want to do a really good job. This state agency is one of the best. So I want to help by adding to the "cream of the crop" thing.
The funniest adjustment for me today was returning to Windows after a year on a Mac. Outlook is way different since I last used it in...oh...when did we can that? Maybe 2002? But hey, if that's the worst of it, I'll do ok.
All in all - WOO HOO!!!
Thanks to everyone for praying for me. Thanks for all of the encouraging notes on here or in emails. Thanks for the text messages and phone calls today. I did see everyone's texts today but couldn't really justify replying ("Hi, I know it's my first day but let me just reply to my friend..."). And tonight, my bro-in-law and niece just got in so I went from work to day care to my mom & dad's house. Then I got home and tossed the boys in bed. I was in bed before 9pm. But decided to come down and type all of this for those that care for way too many details.
You all rock. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing cheering section!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Teachers: Two Thumbs Up
Well, we met both teachers today. My mom got to go with me to the kinder meet & greet. It was very cool. My heart goes out to the first time school parents. For most, it is just such a hard time. It was for me. I faked it well for Pokemon Boy's sake back in 2005. But man, it can be such a hugely paranoid time.
Lil'Bro's teacher is in for quite a ride. There are at least 6 kids in her class from his preschool. Which is odd since there are 10 kinder classes (all full - so like 20 per class!!!). But somehow, he and two of his best pals were placed in the same class. Three others we saw were in different classes. But his teacher seems very sweet. Very attentive. I think he'll have a great year.
Pokemon Boy is in the talented & gifted program. So his class is mostly those kids. His teacher seems like a doll, too. One kid from his summer daycare is in his class. They are both crazy for Pokemon. At one point, his teacher mentioned she needed to be schooled on Pokemon. Both boys offered to educate her. HA! Boy she's in for it now!
I chatted with Pokemon Boy's teacher - just letting her briefly know that his Tourette's isn't physical at the moment. That I'm her partner and will back up what she does and continue it at home. She seemed to know him from the prior year. He is a very outgoing and friendly kid. So almost every staff member we passed called him by name. So I imagine she already has some idea of the kind of kid he is.
We all left feeling very comfortable with the assigned teachers and excited for next week. Once again, God's rockin' the answer to prayer. So yay!!!
Oh, and while we were at kinder meet & greet, I got a phone message about a 2nd phone interview with a company I really want to work for. WOOT! I'll let you know how that goes.
Lil'Bro's teacher is in for quite a ride. There are at least 6 kids in her class from his preschool. Which is odd since there are 10 kinder classes (all full - so like 20 per class!!!). But somehow, he and two of his best pals were placed in the same class. Three others we saw were in different classes. But his teacher seems very sweet. Very attentive. I think he'll have a great year.
Pokemon Boy is in the talented & gifted program. So his class is mostly those kids. His teacher seems like a doll, too. One kid from his summer daycare is in his class. They are both crazy for Pokemon. At one point, his teacher mentioned she needed to be schooled on Pokemon. Both boys offered to educate her. HA! Boy she's in for it now!
I chatted with Pokemon Boy's teacher - just letting her briefly know that his Tourette's isn't physical at the moment. That I'm her partner and will back up what she does and continue it at home. She seemed to know him from the prior year. He is a very outgoing and friendly kid. So almost every staff member we passed called him by name. So I imagine she already has some idea of the kind of kid he is.
We all left feeling very comfortable with the assigned teachers and excited for next week. Once again, God's rockin' the answer to prayer. So yay!!!
Oh, and while we were at kinder meet & greet, I got a phone message about a 2nd phone interview with a company I really want to work for. WOOT! I'll let you know how that goes.
Monday, August 17, 2009
End Of Summer: Blah
So we're almost at the end of summer. Or, depending on the measuring stick, we're DONE with summer.
I took the summer off to hang with the boys. I doubt I'll ever get a 22 yr severance package again. So I pushed my luck and took the summer off - meaning, I didn't look for work. I also kept the boys home from summer camps or day care. So right there I saved myself a good $1300+ a month. I have never been able to spend a whole summer vacation with my kids. So this has been worth it. Pushing the envelope or not. It was worth it.
I started looking for work two weeks ago. So for me, summer ended two weeks ago. Sadness. But oh well. It's been awesome.
And in one week, my boys will head back to school. Pokemon Boy will start 4th grade. Lil'Bro will start kindergarten. Pretty cool. They'll be in the same school but probably won't run into each other. Kinder is downstairs and 4th is up. Their lunch times and recess will be pretty far apart, too. But the knowledge that big brother is there will no doubt help Lil'Bro.
So, as the school year approaches, a part of me wonders how Pokemon Boy will do with his anxieties during this school year. Since he's been back in day care these past two weeks, he's only had a couple of meltdowns. But each one reminds me that the anxiety is still there. And I've noticed a bit of an increase in his facial tics. Nothing horrid. Just the exaggerated blinking, a few head rolls, some shoulder rolls, some suddenly widened eyes. In the grand scheme of Tourette's, these are minor and I know how lucky we are.
I think the increased tics are just stress. He likes day care generally. But he's in the "school aged" group. So ages 5-11. And those older kids, man, they push the limits for me sometimes. Girls are emotionally brutal and boys are physically so. He generally finds nice kids to hang around. But inevitably, there's a clash. And I can't fight it for him.
Recently, a boy at school really taunted him. I was told by another teacher that this boy has some kind of disability. I don't recall what kind. But apparently, he is not always in control of his language or emotions. This was actually explained to Pokemon Boy. He told me he wasn't really mad at the boy since he knew the boy couldn't help it. But it still embarrassed him. We talked about it for a while. During the conversation, I pointed out how hard it is to be "different" at all. And maybe that boy gets a lot of flack from other kids. Or worse, maybe he's ignored. So Pokemon Boy said, "Yah. I have trouble with my anger sometimes. So I know what it's like." We talked about how maybe that boy just needs someone to keep being nice to him. Pokemon Boy went back to school resolved to be nice to him. To make sure he had someone who didn't ignore him or dismiss him as weird. I was pretty proud that he was able to make the connection - to empathize with a boy who might be treated differently because he can't control his emotions. There may be more conflict. But at least I know Pokemon Boy will try his best to give that kid the benefit of the doubt.
This Friday, we find out who the teachers are. Then it's back to school. I'm sure God will rock good teachers for both. And an awesome job for ME!
I took the summer off to hang with the boys. I doubt I'll ever get a 22 yr severance package again. So I pushed my luck and took the summer off - meaning, I didn't look for work. I also kept the boys home from summer camps or day care. So right there I saved myself a good $1300+ a month. I have never been able to spend a whole summer vacation with my kids. So this has been worth it. Pushing the envelope or not. It was worth it.
I started looking for work two weeks ago. So for me, summer ended two weeks ago. Sadness. But oh well. It's been awesome.
And in one week, my boys will head back to school. Pokemon Boy will start 4th grade. Lil'Bro will start kindergarten. Pretty cool. They'll be in the same school but probably won't run into each other. Kinder is downstairs and 4th is up. Their lunch times and recess will be pretty far apart, too. But the knowledge that big brother is there will no doubt help Lil'Bro.
So, as the school year approaches, a part of me wonders how Pokemon Boy will do with his anxieties during this school year. Since he's been back in day care these past two weeks, he's only had a couple of meltdowns. But each one reminds me that the anxiety is still there. And I've noticed a bit of an increase in his facial tics. Nothing horrid. Just the exaggerated blinking, a few head rolls, some shoulder rolls, some suddenly widened eyes. In the grand scheme of Tourette's, these are minor and I know how lucky we are.
I think the increased tics are just stress. He likes day care generally. But he's in the "school aged" group. So ages 5-11. And those older kids, man, they push the limits for me sometimes. Girls are emotionally brutal and boys are physically so. He generally finds nice kids to hang around. But inevitably, there's a clash. And I can't fight it for him.
Recently, a boy at school really taunted him. I was told by another teacher that this boy has some kind of disability. I don't recall what kind. But apparently, he is not always in control of his language or emotions. This was actually explained to Pokemon Boy. He told me he wasn't really mad at the boy since he knew the boy couldn't help it. But it still embarrassed him. We talked about it for a while. During the conversation, I pointed out how hard it is to be "different" at all. And maybe that boy gets a lot of flack from other kids. Or worse, maybe he's ignored. So Pokemon Boy said, "Yah. I have trouble with my anger sometimes. So I know what it's like." We talked about how maybe that boy just needs someone to keep being nice to him. Pokemon Boy went back to school resolved to be nice to him. To make sure he had someone who didn't ignore him or dismiss him as weird. I was pretty proud that he was able to make the connection - to empathize with a boy who might be treated differently because he can't control his emotions. There may be more conflict. But at least I know Pokemon Boy will try his best to give that kid the benefit of the doubt.
This Friday, we find out who the teachers are. Then it's back to school. I'm sure God will rock good teachers for both. And an awesome job for ME!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Strange Places In Which I Find Myself
So here is 2009. Technically, I still work for the Big Ol' Financial Corporation. They will pay me with full benefits until the end of this month. But my last work day was 12/31 and I'm pretty sure, were I to try to log into their network, I'd be blocked.
I find myself in a place not travelled since I was 20. I'm not 20 any more. It will take a pretty big work by God to get me motivated. I don't really want to do all the resume writing, pavement pounding (albeit, mostly on cyber-pavement), clothing buying, self promoting, etc., that needs to be done. But since my friends have failed to find me my 40-something, single Christian rich guy with no crazy ex-wife, I must go through the job hunting thing. Blyeck.
Today, I spent a good portion of the day putting thoughts together for a resume. I sat there going, "Hmm...what exactly have I been doing these last 22 years?" I sent out emails to former managers and coworkers saying, "Hey, mind if I put you as a reference?" I tried to put a true list of skills and tools that represent my current knowledge. I know plenty of friends who put down every piece of software they've ever touched, seen, spoken of, etc as actual skills. I refuse to oversell myself. I can read enough java to debug some coding problems. But I usually end up needing help because it's still rather Greek to me. So I certainly won't tell them I can code java. I hesitate to put any of my coding languages down because I haven't coded in over 4 years.
I mean, if I could put down the best parts of my skill set, it wouldn't look all that good on an IT resume. "I provide the comic relief. I kill the tension between adversarial IT groups. I make sure everyone is heard. Even the timid wallflower with no self-esteem that usually has the best ideas. I deflate over bloated egos and keep technical people rooted in reality and not in Star Trek ideals. I speak techie. I speak end user. I speak tester. I can communicate with the lowest pee-on. I can talk to the highest up mucky muck. I make things pretty. But I also make sure the pretty actually works. I make sure all the different groups in a meeting understand each other and aren't reliving the Tower of Babel. I'm a unificator."
The hard part for me is, putting all of the above in corporate speak. I have to use all the correct buzz words. Whatever the hip corporate vernacular is at this moment. I have never been good at blowing my own horn. Not in the business world. Singing, yes. But not in the corporate world.
Anyway, I will be going on interviews. They will be interviewing me to see if I'm made of stuff they want in their company. I will be interviewing them to see if they are a company in which I want to work. I will dance the dance. I'm just hoping God gives me big signs. I don't want to just grab the first thing I'm offered. But I also don't want to be stupid thinking there are 8 million jobs from which I can choose.
I'm pretty chill. God totally rocked the whole move and house purchase into the most awesome neighborhood. I'm sure he can get me into a great job with the most awesome coworkers.
Anyone who likes to pray? I'll take anything you're willing to send up.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Weekly Randomosity
The Layoff:
I'm doing much better about the layoff now. I went from calm acceptance to anxiety/panic to church. At church, I cried all over my friend PregnantKeyboardGirl. She prayed over me and told me she loves me. Then the AwesomeCoffeeBringer couple prayed over me, too. I also happen to know that pretty much all of my praying family and friends are blanketing heaven with prayers on my behalf. I'm sure God is up there going, "Yah, 'Take care of Lynette.' I'm ON it, people!" Thankfully God is way more patient than I would be. But it's a funny image in my head.
So I went from lot of hands-on prayer back to work. And this week, I have felt totally peaceful about things. I figure, I've asked God to guide me. I've asked him to show me which direction to go. I've asked him to get me an awesome job that will allow me family time and the money to support my little family. So all I can do now is just work and get through the layoff process. The rest will unfold when God wants it to.
So I'm chill. God's got me.
Our New Church Building!!!
Our church has been working on finding a permanent building for a while. When I joined in late 2005, we were slated to move into a new building that winter. Due to a legal battle between the landlord and the developer, that never happened. And we stood by anxiously awaiting the results for a long time.
Well, this past Tuesday, we started moving in the bulk of our stuff (to a totally different space!). Our children's ministry leader had already gotten a lot of toys moved in. But on Tuesday, a small group of us got 128 comfy chairs unloaded, vacuumed, washed down and set up! And pastor Kenny loaded them from the storage space into the trailer alone. (Look at the superhero muscles on that guy!)
It was the kind of hard work I love to do because it is actually DOING something. And doing something for God. Plus, I got to hang out with some really awesome church family while doing it.
Today was our last day in the elementary school. We gave one of the school workers a gift certificate and card because she has been there with us for so long and has been like a family member.
Next Sunday is our first service in the new building. WOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!
The first chair in...
Most of the chairs in...
Panoramic view of the sanctuary from the front...
Pokemon Boy:
Mr. Dude is having some issues with anger. Well, all out melt downs is more like it. He had two this past week. Both times, he couldn't do something he wanted to do. I think it's a few things: A) he's overtired, B) he's a little worried about this layoff thing, C) he's 8 and D) he's human and hates when he doesn't get what he wants. But the all out temper tantrum - we haven't seen that in years.
We had a nice long talk about it. I told him that he's old enough to start controlling when he's upset like that. I told him to recognize that feeling and work hard to keep the anger in check. And when he can't? That's when you ask God to step in. He said, "I never pray when I'm at school." I said, "Well, don't think of it as praying. Just keep the conversation going. No matter where you are. You can just talk to him any time. Tell him anything. Ask for help with anything, anywhere." He kind of raised his eyebrows in that "Hmm. Interesting," way. Today at church, we almost headed toward meltdown. But I just got down on his level and said, "Dude, put a LID on that attitude right NOW." Not mean. Just nipped it in the bud and made it VERY clear that it would NOT be tolerated.
I don't think any of it is related to his Tourette's. I think it's all the stuff I mentioned before. But he asked if he could see his play therapist. So I've made an appointment. You want to talk to someone who can help you? Heck yah I'll find the money somewhere!
Hallerween:
Lil' Bro had a fever off and on this week. Friday, it was pretty high and he stayed home. But there was no way Optimus Prime was going to miss out on the trick-or-treating. So little Mr Fever Guy went trick-or-treating. He pooped out about 3/4 of the way through so we kept it short. Which fortunately was fine with his older brother. We had so much fun and they were just so freaking adorable. They have hardly eaten any of their candy. I've probably eaten more of it than they have.
Lil' Bro was Optimus Prime. Pokemon Boy was Ben 10.
God Rockin' More Free Food:
Today at church, one of my friends had a word for me that was incredibly encouraging. God told me that he loves me and he will take care of it all. I can't think of a better word to get right now.
Tonight, I took the boys to our favorite pizza joint. We had called our order in so it would be ready when we got there. As we sat down to eat, one of the workers walked over with a large pizza box and said, "My manager wanted me to ask if you guys would like some extra pepperoni rolls." There were 12 extra pepperoni rolls in the box! That's like a large pepperoni pizza - in rolled up form. They had accidentally made a double order for someone and we got the extras! We LUUUUUUUUUV their pepperoni rolls. So I know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow!
I'm doing much better about the layoff now. I went from calm acceptance to anxiety/panic to church. At church, I cried all over my friend PregnantKeyboardGirl. She prayed over me and told me she loves me. Then the AwesomeCoffeeBringer couple prayed over me, too. I also happen to know that pretty much all of my praying family and friends are blanketing heaven with prayers on my behalf. I'm sure God is up there going, "Yah, 'Take care of Lynette.' I'm ON it, people!" Thankfully God is way more patient than I would be. But it's a funny image in my head.
So I went from lot of hands-on prayer back to work. And this week, I have felt totally peaceful about things. I figure, I've asked God to guide me. I've asked him to show me which direction to go. I've asked him to get me an awesome job that will allow me family time and the money to support my little family. So all I can do now is just work and get through the layoff process. The rest will unfold when God wants it to.
So I'm chill. God's got me.
Our New Church Building!!!
Our church has been working on finding a permanent building for a while. When I joined in late 2005, we were slated to move into a new building that winter. Due to a legal battle between the landlord and the developer, that never happened. And we stood by anxiously awaiting the results for a long time.
Well, this past Tuesday, we started moving in the bulk of our stuff (to a totally different space!). Our children's ministry leader had already gotten a lot of toys moved in. But on Tuesday, a small group of us got 128 comfy chairs unloaded, vacuumed, washed down and set up! And pastor Kenny loaded them from the storage space into the trailer alone. (Look at the superhero muscles on that guy!)It was the kind of hard work I love to do because it is actually DOING something. And doing something for God. Plus, I got to hang out with some really awesome church family while doing it.
Today was our last day in the elementary school. We gave one of the school workers a gift certificate and card because she has been there with us for so long and has been like a family member.
Next Sunday is our first service in the new building. WOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!
The first chair in...
Most of the chairs in...
Panoramic view of the sanctuary from the front...
Pokemon Boy:
Mr. Dude is having some issues with anger. Well, all out melt downs is more like it. He had two this past week. Both times, he couldn't do something he wanted to do. I think it's a few things: A) he's overtired, B) he's a little worried about this layoff thing, C) he's 8 and D) he's human and hates when he doesn't get what he wants. But the all out temper tantrum - we haven't seen that in years.
We had a nice long talk about it. I told him that he's old enough to start controlling when he's upset like that. I told him to recognize that feeling and work hard to keep the anger in check. And when he can't? That's when you ask God to step in. He said, "I never pray when I'm at school." I said, "Well, don't think of it as praying. Just keep the conversation going. No matter where you are. You can just talk to him any time. Tell him anything. Ask for help with anything, anywhere." He kind of raised his eyebrows in that "Hmm. Interesting," way. Today at church, we almost headed toward meltdown. But I just got down on his level and said, "Dude, put a LID on that attitude right NOW." Not mean. Just nipped it in the bud and made it VERY clear that it would NOT be tolerated.
I don't think any of it is related to his Tourette's. I think it's all the stuff I mentioned before. But he asked if he could see his play therapist. So I've made an appointment. You want to talk to someone who can help you? Heck yah I'll find the money somewhere!
Hallerween:
Lil' Bro had a fever off and on this week. Friday, it was pretty high and he stayed home. But there was no way Optimus Prime was going to miss out on the trick-or-treating. So little Mr Fever Guy went trick-or-treating. He pooped out about 3/4 of the way through so we kept it short. Which fortunately was fine with his older brother. We had so much fun and they were just so freaking adorable. They have hardly eaten any of their candy. I've probably eaten more of it than they have.
Lil' Bro was Optimus Prime. Pokemon Boy was Ben 10.
God Rockin' More Free Food:
Today at church, one of my friends had a word for me that was incredibly encouraging. God told me that he loves me and he will take care of it all. I can't think of a better word to get right now.
Tonight, I took the boys to our favorite pizza joint. We had called our order in so it would be ready when we got there. As we sat down to eat, one of the workers walked over with a large pizza box and said, "My manager wanted me to ask if you guys would like some extra pepperoni rolls." There were 12 extra pepperoni rolls in the box! That's like a large pepperoni pizza - in rolled up form. They had accidentally made a double order for someone and we got the extras! We LUUUUUUUUUV their pepperoni rolls. So I know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Emily Dickinson, I Ain't
Monday was my day of birth
I took the whole day off
My parents took me out that night
though mom still had a cough
Tuesday I was back to work
And mayhem ruled the day
I watched in shock as management
just hacked and hacked away
I spent the morning tracking names
of friends all being cut
At noon I got invited to
a call for you know what
My job has been eliminated
the date not set in stone
I got a decent severance
but still I had to groan
I kept it all professional
You would have been so proud
But Wednesday night the panic hit
I'm sure my sobs were loud
So once again I turned to God
I'm not sure how he deals:
My constant knocking on his door
My begging and my squeals
But that's the cool thing 'bout my God
He seems to like me still
So I will keep on trusting Him
and put my mode on 'Chill'
I took the whole day off
My parents took me out that night
though mom still had a cough
Tuesday I was back to work
And mayhem ruled the day
I watched in shock as management
just hacked and hacked away
I spent the morning tracking names
of friends all being cut
At noon I got invited to
a call for you know what
My job has been eliminated
the date not set in stone
I got a decent severance
but still I had to groan
I kept it all professional
You would have been so proud
But Wednesday night the panic hit
I'm sure my sobs were loud
So once again I turned to God
I'm not sure how he deals:
My constant knocking on his door
My begging and my squeals
But that's the cool thing 'bout my God
He seems to like me still
So I will keep on trusting Him
and put my mode on 'Chill'
Friday, July 18, 2008
Fambly and Such
Good gravy! I have had NO time. I'm for serious, dude.
After Pokemon Boy's birthday, it was non stop. Work became hellarific for a bit there. To the point I started wondering whether I could quit and find a job and keep my house and current lifestyle. But God somehow kept me from doing anything stupid. He got me through it. Man, I have to tell you, he keeps putting me on projects with the most wonderfully helpful and supportive coworkers. Honestly, it's nuts!
I think I mentioned that I was split over two very intense projects. They are each the kind of project you really need to give 100% to. I was - in theory - 75% on one and 25% on the other. On paper, very nice. In reality, didn't happen. So a while ago, I think I sent up one of my myriad frantic prayers akin to "HELP!" Yesterday, I got news that the 75% people were letting me go. So now I'm 100% on one project. So I can finally start training, learning, ramping up and actually producing on that project. It was just a HUGE relief.
But on both projects, I found such wonderfully supportive friends. Everyone I have encountered on both projects is willing to stop and help each other. I know that's how it should be. But that's not how it always is. So when I get that, I am hugely appreciative. God keeps putting me with real cream-o-the-crop types.
So work has calmed to a dull roar for the moment. It's busy but not soul-crushing any more.
My sister was here over the last week. This is my half-sister from Oklahoma - Lil Sis Mom who visited back in March. This time, her hubby and step-daughter stayed home. The wee baby is now 7 months old, totally interactive and a giant drool factory. She was very into the boys. It was just great to have them all here. I had to work but Lil Sis Mom handled her three and my two like it was no big deal. I learned a lot about how to be firm with kids. She has a way about her where she can just snap those kids into action. So I took notes and have tried it out a few times. Just the "I am SO not kidding" kind of tone. My boys learned real fast that she wasn't kidding. And they now know that neither am I! It's amazing how far that can go. Without being mean or threatening. Just a no nonsense approach where you don't give them the option of negotiating. I think I have been a bit soft on them because of the whole divorce guilt thing.
Anyway, once again, I had a house full of guests and it was really awesome. Our two families blend really well. And Lil Sis Mom came to help me. She knows this divorce thing. She's been through one that makes mine look like a cake walk. She knows where I am in my walk. So she came down to help me. So not only did she juggle a nursing 7 month old, my two boys, her 9 yr old and her 13 yr old, but she managed to do laundry for everyone, keep dishes clean, vacuum my house, pick up the toy explosion that was my house, take the kids to the pool - by herSELF!....she amazes me.
They were here mostly for Pokemon Boy's party on the 12th. No one is ever around on the day of his birthday - July 5th. So we hit the next weekend. It was a fun time at a local inflatable place. My 42 yr old body had a rough recovery after a few hours on the bouncy things. But I had a great time.
I have no pictures yet. My camera was being repaired. Pokemon Boy's dad was there so I will eventually have some pix.
And on the divorce front, the papers will be signed in court on next Tuesday. Very odd.
After Pokemon Boy's birthday, it was non stop. Work became hellarific for a bit there. To the point I started wondering whether I could quit and find a job and keep my house and current lifestyle. But God somehow kept me from doing anything stupid. He got me through it. Man, I have to tell you, he keeps putting me on projects with the most wonderfully helpful and supportive coworkers. Honestly, it's nuts!
I think I mentioned that I was split over two very intense projects. They are each the kind of project you really need to give 100% to. I was - in theory - 75% on one and 25% on the other. On paper, very nice. In reality, didn't happen. So a while ago, I think I sent up one of my myriad frantic prayers akin to "HELP!" Yesterday, I got news that the 75% people were letting me go. So now I'm 100% on one project. So I can finally start training, learning, ramping up and actually producing on that project. It was just a HUGE relief.
But on both projects, I found such wonderfully supportive friends. Everyone I have encountered on both projects is willing to stop and help each other. I know that's how it should be. But that's not how it always is. So when I get that, I am hugely appreciative. God keeps putting me with real cream-o-the-crop types.
So work has calmed to a dull roar for the moment. It's busy but not soul-crushing any more.
My sister was here over the last week. This is my half-sister from Oklahoma - Lil Sis Mom who visited back in March. This time, her hubby and step-daughter stayed home. The wee baby is now 7 months old, totally interactive and a giant drool factory. She was very into the boys. It was just great to have them all here. I had to work but Lil Sis Mom handled her three and my two like it was no big deal. I learned a lot about how to be firm with kids. She has a way about her where she can just snap those kids into action. So I took notes and have tried it out a few times. Just the "I am SO not kidding" kind of tone. My boys learned real fast that she wasn't kidding. And they now know that neither am I! It's amazing how far that can go. Without being mean or threatening. Just a no nonsense approach where you don't give them the option of negotiating. I think I have been a bit soft on them because of the whole divorce guilt thing.
Anyway, once again, I had a house full of guests and it was really awesome. Our two families blend really well. And Lil Sis Mom came to help me. She knows this divorce thing. She's been through one that makes mine look like a cake walk. She knows where I am in my walk. So she came down to help me. So not only did she juggle a nursing 7 month old, my two boys, her 9 yr old and her 13 yr old, but she managed to do laundry for everyone, keep dishes clean, vacuum my house, pick up the toy explosion that was my house, take the kids to the pool - by herSELF!....she amazes me.
They were here mostly for Pokemon Boy's party on the 12th. No one is ever around on the day of his birthday - July 5th. So we hit the next weekend. It was a fun time at a local inflatable place. My 42 yr old body had a rough recovery after a few hours on the bouncy things. But I had a great time.
I have no pictures yet. My camera was being repaired. Pokemon Boy's dad was there so I will eventually have some pix.
And on the divorce front, the papers will be signed in court on next Tuesday. Very odd.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Pollyanna Warm Fuzzy Fluff
I am having one of those really awesome days. Which is weird. Because I have a raging sinus headache. This one is allergy induced. I doubt I'll be kneeling before the porcelain throne this time around. But it's a mere annoyance since having the reference point of debilitating migraines.
Lil' Bro is home sick today. I think his are allergies, too. But I'll be jamming a flashlight down his throat later to check for white spots. I'm told some bad stuff doesn't always kick up a fever. So who knows.
So even with the headache and a sick coughing 4 yr old, I'm having a great day. Here's why.
Work is actually good today. I am on this project that is overwhelming and ambitious. There are a handful of us that are trying to do analysis on over 100 systems to see if we can make them fit into this enterprise-wide data solution thingy that will help our company hugely if we pull it off. So a smidge of pressure.
Every time we group up to hand out assignments, we all walk away with about 4 systems to tackle. I seem to have the golden touch of finding systems that are out of our scope. Everyone else seems to have the touch of having to wrestle with 4 systems. So I get mine done and then go ask the boss, what can I do? It's just what you do when you find yourself twiddling your thumbs. So right now, I have about 5 systems on my plate. 3 of which are pretty much done and turned over to the programmers. The other two are started and my documentation is sent out for review by the system experts. So I'm in a holding pattern.
I IM'd my boss and said, "As much as I'd rather go shopping, I thought I'd ask what else I can do." I didn't think of it as any big deal. But she really thanked me for "always asking". Which I thought was a nice compliment. I tend to look at it as, I'm just lucky to have systems taken out of project scope. So I should help out. But it's nice to know that my boss appreciates the fact that I don't just go shopping and pretend I'm really swamped.
As much as I feel bad having Lil' Bro sick, I do love having him around. He's a good little guy and is content to sit on the couch in a Benadryl induced haze, watching bad Scooby Doo movies. But I took him out for lunch and that is always fun. I don't get a lot of one-on-one time with him. Pokemon Boy got 3 years of that. This little guy was born into being one of two. So that was a nice little treat.
On the way home, we stopped by mom & dad's house. Mom was outside gardening so we got to visit with her quickly.
When I got back here, I found out that I was to help lighten the load on one of my favorite coworkers. I like all of them but he's my favorite on this project. It felt good being able to help him out.
So I was just sitting here after talking to him and I was hit with this overwhelming sense of needing to tell people how much I love them. So here I am. Telling you guys I love you. Because I had a good day and am overflowing with happy feelings. And because I'm a Pollyanna dork. But in all honesty - those of you that I communicate with regularly here? - I adore you. And I feel really blessed to have this kind of connection and support in such an unlikely place.
Oh and Sarakastic - if you want a cool post on ketchup, check this one out from Wanda.
You guys are beautiful. Don't change.
Lil' Bro is home sick today. I think his are allergies, too. But I'll be jamming a flashlight down his throat later to check for white spots. I'm told some bad stuff doesn't always kick up a fever. So who knows.
So even with the headache and a sick coughing 4 yr old, I'm having a great day. Here's why.
Work is actually good today. I am on this project that is overwhelming and ambitious. There are a handful of us that are trying to do analysis on over 100 systems to see if we can make them fit into this enterprise-wide data solution thingy that will help our company hugely if we pull it off. So a smidge of pressure.
Every time we group up to hand out assignments, we all walk away with about 4 systems to tackle. I seem to have the golden touch of finding systems that are out of our scope. Everyone else seems to have the touch of having to wrestle with 4 systems. So I get mine done and then go ask the boss, what can I do? It's just what you do when you find yourself twiddling your thumbs. So right now, I have about 5 systems on my plate. 3 of which are pretty much done and turned over to the programmers. The other two are started and my documentation is sent out for review by the system experts. So I'm in a holding pattern.
I IM'd my boss and said, "As much as I'd rather go shopping, I thought I'd ask what else I can do." I didn't think of it as any big deal. But she really thanked me for "always asking". Which I thought was a nice compliment. I tend to look at it as, I'm just lucky to have systems taken out of project scope. So I should help out. But it's nice to know that my boss appreciates the fact that I don't just go shopping and pretend I'm really swamped.
As much as I feel bad having Lil' Bro sick, I do love having him around. He's a good little guy and is content to sit on the couch in a Benadryl induced haze, watching bad Scooby Doo movies. But I took him out for lunch and that is always fun. I don't get a lot of one-on-one time with him. Pokemon Boy got 3 years of that. This little guy was born into being one of two. So that was a nice little treat.
On the way home, we stopped by mom & dad's house. Mom was outside gardening so we got to visit with her quickly.
When I got back here, I found out that I was to help lighten the load on one of my favorite coworkers. I like all of them but he's my favorite on this project. It felt good being able to help him out.
So I was just sitting here after talking to him and I was hit with this overwhelming sense of needing to tell people how much I love them. So here I am. Telling you guys I love you. Because I had a good day and am overflowing with happy feelings. And because I'm a Pollyanna dork. But in all honesty - those of you that I communicate with regularly here? - I adore you. And I feel really blessed to have this kind of connection and support in such an unlikely place.
Oh and Sarakastic - if you want a cool post on ketchup, check this one out from Wanda.
You guys are beautiful. Don't change.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I Am Dork: Hear Me Roar
Today was nothing to blog home about. Meetings from 9am to 6pm. A working lunch. Bio-breaks (ie - let's all go loose our bladders) were given out grudgingly. A great group of people to work with. But even great groups of people can be too much when you saddle them with terms like "work session" and other pithy corporate catch phrases.
I took pictures of a bunch of them. But figured I didn't get any kind of release forms signed allowing me to shoot their images across the ether. So you will just have to use your imagination to picture Classy Leader Lady, Funny Facilitator Guy, Wikkid Smart Guy #1 and Wikkid Smart Guy #2, Quiet Smart Girl On Crutches, Funny Lady With Attitude and, yours truly: Comic Relief At End Of Table Girl.
Although, you don't have to use your imagination for me. Here are some shots to keep you happy. Because I can hear you all clamoring for more pictures of ME!!!
I took pictures of a bunch of them. But figured I didn't get any kind of release forms signed allowing me to shoot their images across the ether. So you will just have to use your imagination to picture Classy Leader Lady, Funny Facilitator Guy, Wikkid Smart Guy #1 and Wikkid Smart Guy #2, Quiet Smart Girl On Crutches, Funny Lady With Attitude and, yours truly: Comic Relief At End Of Table Girl.
Although, you don't have to use your imagination for me. Here are some shots to keep you happy. Because I can hear you all clamoring for more pictures of ME!!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
A Little of This...A Little of That...
Let's give you updates in chronological order. If my brain will work that well.
Last Thursday:
Wow. This was a bomb out of the blue. Pokemon Boy was home sick. I decided to take him to the doctor because he had a fever a few days earlier and his neck had been stiff for days. I figured it was because he slept in my bed on one of my thick pillows. But let's rule out meningitis before we chalk it up to thick pillows. The doc concurred that it was a spasming neck muscle and sent us home with instructions for ibuprofen and heating pads.
I got back to my office to see my laptop screen blinking like a Christmas tree. Apparently, while I was out discussing pillows and meningitis, Corporate Pawns R Us was busy laying people off in my division. The sky was falling in real time and the instant message traffic was insane. Names were flying, some actually laid off, some not. Numbers were being tossed around: everything from 30 to 300. I felt sick. My former boss pinged me to tell me, yes, layoffs were happening but she had no names. They hadn't really let her in on the juicy details.
At the end of the day, I think about 30-ish people were let go. It spanned the gambit from vice presidents to admin assistants. From new people to 25 yr + veterans. It was insane and at times seemed rather random. My personal manager in Hartford was cut. Quite a few people I know were cut. It was an emotional day all around.
Somehow I made the cut. And I have been told that I was originally on the cut list. If I had stayed with my old project (I was on loan to another project for 6 months), I would have been let go. But the VP in charge of the project I'm currently on wanted to keep me so I'm now permanently over in his area. Still not sure of my exact position. But I have a job. So "having a job" is a title and position I can live with.
File that one under "God totally rocks and not just once in a while!"
Friday:
We all returned to work in duck-and-cover mode. But no more layoffs were forthcoming. At least not this month. However, the major reorg we all knew was coming came. Some of us - like me - knew we were going over to entirely different organizations and managers, etc. But to others, it was a shock. So yet another day pretty much shot with everyone instant messaging the latest information they'd heard.
That night, I took the boys to their dad's house for the weekend. They didn't want to go because there is more fun stuff here (ie - cable TV, computers, whatever else they could think up). They went. Mom wanted space to watch bad TV at loud volumes while doing laundry, picking up toys and trying to make my house look like it wasn't currently occupied by the armed forces.
Saturday:
This was the day we were telling the boys their dad is moving back to Boston. This is the day I will someday win an Oscar for. See, I had to sit there while their dad told them he's leaving. I had to appear supportive for their sake - not of their dad's decision but to be there for whatever reaction they were going to have. I have to kind of keep a blank poker face because, inside, I want to just stand up and scream at the man for even entertaining the idea of leaving his children. I would move to a different state and leave my kids...um...oh yah: NEVER. So it is unfathomable to me. Anyway, he told them while I tried to look unbiased. I'm pretty sure I had on my stony stare which is anything but unbiased. But it was the best I could do.
So he told them. Lil' Bro sitting on my lap said, "You're moving?" Lame-O: "Yes." Lil' Bro: "To Boston?" Lame-O: "Yes." Lil' Bro turns to me and says, "Mommy? {dramatic pause} Can we go to the Ossin Chillren's Moozeeyum?" Yes, when your four year old world is turned upside down, by all means, we should go to the Austin Children's Museum.
Pokemon Boy, on the other hand, got it. Full force. He cried. He cried and cried and cried. It made me want to vomit. There's crying that makes a mom come running. Someone has fallen or removed a limb with a chain saw. But then there is crying where you know their heart has been shattered. They understand the situation is beyond their control. They hate it. But they can't change it. And they hate that part even more. He was heart broken. He cried for a good half hour. Maybe more. It was awful. So did Lame-O. For him, I had no sympathy. Cry, mister. Cry rivers. Just don't expect a supportive pat on the shoulder from me.
Well, after Pokemon Boy was able to pull it together, his eyes looked like he had suffered chemical burns. We had suspected he had a sty or maybe pink eye. If you could have seen him, you would have thought he had rubbed Ajax in his eyes. So no Children's Museum today. No, today's field trip will be a family visit to the urgent care center.
One trip to the urgent care center and a dose of antibiotics later, we were all pretty hungry. We had lunch somewhere. I don't really remember where. Then we took the boys to a playground. While they played, future ex (Lame-O) and I had quite a few talks. I told him exactly what I thought of parents that leave their children without some kind of life-or-death reason. He gave me his reasons which to me (and I can promise, most of you) were completely lame and selfish and I was more than happy to share that editorial stance with him. His counselor told him to make his decision and not to feel guilty. He unfortunately is taking that out of context and using that as his carte blanche to just not feel any guilt at all. I can promise him it won't work. He will feel guilt. People reap what they sow. It's a fact of life. It's a law woven into the very fabric of the universe. Call it what ever name you want. But it happens. I don't envy his reaping when it comes.
Sunday:
At 2:30am, I received a phone call from future ex. Lil' Bro had thrown up in future ex's bed. He didn't have any clean sheets. Pokemon Boy was still asleep on the clean side. (Insert long silence on my end here.) I'm still not exactly sure what I was supposed to do about it. But apparently Lil' Bro had wanted to call me. Most parents I know would have told him he could call mommy in the morning. But I think future ex was in out-of-practice parent panic mode and called hoping I'd guide him through the how-to of dealing with a puking kid in the middle of the night. *sigh*
So with pukey-fevery-4-yr-old and double-pink-eye-7-yr-old, I was solo at church. I figured it was good for future ex to have some quality REALISTIC parenting time with the boys in light of his pending departure from the day to day.
After church, I picked up the boys and headed home. We had a pretty mellow day at home. After the boys' bed time, I finally did my taxes. God rocked the refund thing and I was very happy.
Today:
At work, not much going on. All of the managers were meeting with their managers and trying to figure out which game pieces went into which board game. I still have no idea if I'm part of Parchisi or part of Hi-Ho Cherrio. I have a job. So I'm cool with where ever they put me.
Lil' Bro still had fevers most of the day. He'll stay home again tomorrow. Pokemon Boy's eyes are better. He'll go to school tomorrow.
I fly up to Boston tomorrow for 2 days of meetings. I won't have much time to see people. But I'm hoping to see my wonderful inner circle tomorrow night. And I'm planning on seeing a band on Wed night that contains two of my favorite men in Boston. And I will be having dinner with the awesome chicks from my old project on Thur night. Then I'll fly home on Fri morning. I plan to be dead to the world all of Friday night and Saturday morning.
So there's your update. Remind me to tell you about a long lost friend that just reappeared out of the ether. I think we've just rekindled a friendship that will be way better and stronger than it was when we left it back in the early 90's. It's a cool story. Can't wait to tell you.
Must...pack...must...sleep...
Last Thursday:
Wow. This was a bomb out of the blue. Pokemon Boy was home sick. I decided to take him to the doctor because he had a fever a few days earlier and his neck had been stiff for days. I figured it was because he slept in my bed on one of my thick pillows. But let's rule out meningitis before we chalk it up to thick pillows. The doc concurred that it was a spasming neck muscle and sent us home with instructions for ibuprofen and heating pads.
I got back to my office to see my laptop screen blinking like a Christmas tree. Apparently, while I was out discussing pillows and meningitis, Corporate Pawns R Us was busy laying people off in my division. The sky was falling in real time and the instant message traffic was insane. Names were flying, some actually laid off, some not. Numbers were being tossed around: everything from 30 to 300. I felt sick. My former boss pinged me to tell me, yes, layoffs were happening but she had no names. They hadn't really let her in on the juicy details.
At the end of the day, I think about 30-ish people were let go. It spanned the gambit from vice presidents to admin assistants. From new people to 25 yr + veterans. It was insane and at times seemed rather random. My personal manager in Hartford was cut. Quite a few people I know were cut. It was an emotional day all around.
Somehow I made the cut. And I have been told that I was originally on the cut list. If I had stayed with my old project (I was on loan to another project for 6 months), I would have been let go. But the VP in charge of the project I'm currently on wanted to keep me so I'm now permanently over in his area. Still not sure of my exact position. But I have a job. So "having a job" is a title and position I can live with.
File that one under "God totally rocks and not just once in a while!"
Friday:
We all returned to work in duck-and-cover mode. But no more layoffs were forthcoming. At least not this month. However, the major reorg we all knew was coming came. Some of us - like me - knew we were going over to entirely different organizations and managers, etc. But to others, it was a shock. So yet another day pretty much shot with everyone instant messaging the latest information they'd heard.
That night, I took the boys to their dad's house for the weekend. They didn't want to go because there is more fun stuff here (ie - cable TV, computers, whatever else they could think up). They went. Mom wanted space to watch bad TV at loud volumes while doing laundry, picking up toys and trying to make my house look like it wasn't currently occupied by the armed forces.
Saturday:
This was the day we were telling the boys their dad is moving back to Boston. This is the day I will someday win an Oscar for. See, I had to sit there while their dad told them he's leaving. I had to appear supportive for their sake - not of their dad's decision but to be there for whatever reaction they were going to have. I have to kind of keep a blank poker face because, inside, I want to just stand up and scream at the man for even entertaining the idea of leaving his children. I would move to a different state and leave my kids...um...oh yah: NEVER. So it is unfathomable to me. Anyway, he told them while I tried to look unbiased. I'm pretty sure I had on my stony stare which is anything but unbiased. But it was the best I could do.
So he told them. Lil' Bro sitting on my lap said, "You're moving?" Lame-O: "Yes." Lil' Bro: "To Boston?" Lame-O: "Yes." Lil' Bro turns to me and says, "Mommy? {dramatic pause} Can we go to the Ossin Chillren's Moozeeyum?" Yes, when your four year old world is turned upside down, by all means, we should go to the Austin Children's Museum.
Pokemon Boy, on the other hand, got it. Full force. He cried. He cried and cried and cried. It made me want to vomit. There's crying that makes a mom come running. Someone has fallen or removed a limb with a chain saw. But then there is crying where you know their heart has been shattered. They understand the situation is beyond their control. They hate it. But they can't change it. And they hate that part even more. He was heart broken. He cried for a good half hour. Maybe more. It was awful. So did Lame-O. For him, I had no sympathy. Cry, mister. Cry rivers. Just don't expect a supportive pat on the shoulder from me.
Well, after Pokemon Boy was able to pull it together, his eyes looked like he had suffered chemical burns. We had suspected he had a sty or maybe pink eye. If you could have seen him, you would have thought he had rubbed Ajax in his eyes. So no Children's Museum today. No, today's field trip will be a family visit to the urgent care center.
One trip to the urgent care center and a dose of antibiotics later, we were all pretty hungry. We had lunch somewhere. I don't really remember where. Then we took the boys to a playground. While they played, future ex (Lame-O) and I had quite a few talks. I told him exactly what I thought of parents that leave their children without some kind of life-or-death reason. He gave me his reasons which to me (and I can promise, most of you) were completely lame and selfish and I was more than happy to share that editorial stance with him. His counselor told him to make his decision and not to feel guilty. He unfortunately is taking that out of context and using that as his carte blanche to just not feel any guilt at all. I can promise him it won't work. He will feel guilt. People reap what they sow. It's a fact of life. It's a law woven into the very fabric of the universe. Call it what ever name you want. But it happens. I don't envy his reaping when it comes.
Sunday:
At 2:30am, I received a phone call from future ex. Lil' Bro had thrown up in future ex's bed. He didn't have any clean sheets. Pokemon Boy was still asleep on the clean side. (Insert long silence on my end here.) I'm still not exactly sure what I was supposed to do about it. But apparently Lil' Bro had wanted to call me. Most parents I know would have told him he could call mommy in the morning. But I think future ex was in out-of-practice parent panic mode and called hoping I'd guide him through the how-to of dealing with a puking kid in the middle of the night. *sigh*
So with pukey-fevery-4-yr-old and double-pink-eye-7-yr-old, I was solo at church. I figured it was good for future ex to have some quality REALISTIC parenting time with the boys in light of his pending departure from the day to day.
After church, I picked up the boys and headed home. We had a pretty mellow day at home. After the boys' bed time, I finally did my taxes. God rocked the refund thing and I was very happy.
Today:
At work, not much going on. All of the managers were meeting with their managers and trying to figure out which game pieces went into which board game. I still have no idea if I'm part of Parchisi or part of Hi-Ho Cherrio. I have a job. So I'm cool with where ever they put me.
Lil' Bro still had fevers most of the day. He'll stay home again tomorrow. Pokemon Boy's eyes are better. He'll go to school tomorrow.
I fly up to Boston tomorrow for 2 days of meetings. I won't have much time to see people. But I'm hoping to see my wonderful inner circle tomorrow night. And I'm planning on seeing a band on Wed night that contains two of my favorite men in Boston. And I will be having dinner with the awesome chicks from my old project on Thur night. Then I'll fly home on Fri morning. I plan to be dead to the world all of Friday night and Saturday morning.
So there's your update. Remind me to tell you about a long lost friend that just reappeared out of the ether. I think we've just rekindled a friendship that will be way better and stronger than it was when we left it back in the early 90's. It's a cool story. Can't wait to tell you.
Must...pack...must...sleep...
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Functionalitificationator...whatever...
Yesterday was 9/11. It's a day I try to never let pass without really remembering. I didn't watch any of the retelling, recounting, documentaries. I have done so a few times over the years. But the real images that I saw in real time between frantic phone calls with my sister in NYC on the actual day? Those will stay burned in my head way beyond the rehashed well-edited stuff they keep churning out.
The whole story - all three planes - it never ceases to just blow my mind.
One item I received in my email inbox at the end of the day yesterday: the final draft of my divorce decree. I looked at that email, looked at the 9/11 date and thought, "I'm declaring jihad on my marriage!" and laughed. My boss thought it was funny, too. I have a sick and stupid sense of humor. The other irony is that this is the 2nd "final" draft of the divorce decree. So is this the final-er draft? And the next one I get - will it be the final-est draft? Or will it just be like, "Final draft #12 in a series"....collect all 66! Trade with your friends!
I was very busy today. Work was work. Busy work. I'm rejoining the fully functional working adults that have been carrying my sorry butt for months now. Each day, I become more like the old employee I was. And that's a good thing. A few years back, when I was newly a mother of two, my immediate corporate America told all of us IT dorks that we'd need to buckle down, suck it up, put our noses to the grindstone and squeeze out just a tiny bit more blood from our proverbial stone. Since the Y2K projects that started in 1997, there aren't many IT people that haven't been working ridiculous schedules almost every year. So to come to people who feel like they're already working 24/7, not taking vacations, not watching their babies grow up and ask, hey can you guys start giving just a little more? Oh...and for the same pay? Yah, that went over big. I remember going to my boss' office and crying as I told her she might want to move me onto a less critical project as I could only give 100% and not the 120% they were asking. Kind of, hey, demote me to the piddly systems that won't exist much longer so I can try to remember what my kids look like. I remember the look of sheer disbelief on her face. I figured she was disappointed that I wasn't going to just give up leaving the work building altogether. But she was shocked I was worried about my ability to deliver. She said to me, "I get more out of you in 8 hours than some people give in a week." I was floored. And it felt damned good. From that moment on, I knew I was valued and I knew I kicked butt at work. And I realized many of my coworkers recognized it, too. That's an amazingly freeing feeling - to know you are valued.
Well, when my personal world shattered back around the new year, I went from that amazing 100% awesome worker to that 80% awesome worker. It just kept going downhill until late April. When future ex walked out the door, I became non-functioning, giant-pile-of-goo-on-the-floor, worker. Confused, discombobulated, zombie worker. I felt like I was in a constant state of Homer-Simpson - blank stare and drooling. It was a terrifying place for me. I was literally unable to fully contribute. I could plod along on the easier points of my job. But most points of my job are anything but easy. It's all brain work. It's all date driven and needed last week. It's all thinking on the fly, design a plan with which you can build the Taj Mahal after being given two toothpicks, a rubber band and $5. And we do it. Every year my team pulls miracles out of the depths of nothing. I'm part of a team of cream-of-the-crop insane people. You'd never know the cream-of-the-crop part to see us as a group. We're the doofiest looking bunch of miscreants. And you'd never know it by looking at the IMs or emails we exchange to alleviate the boredom of red-tape-laden conference calls. But they're all the bomb. And I hated feeling like I was letting them down. Dead weight. I can't stand dead weight.
But these beautiful people that can drive me out of my mind...this collection of weirdos that make me frequently consider a job as a dog-walker - they all rallied to me. I didn't even know it. I'm pretty sure my boss just went all Patton on them and gave them some inspirational direction on my behalf. Because suddenly, my emails were being answered by one coworker. Production problems were being researched and resolved for me. People were showing up on conference calls as "backup" and pretty much bailing me out. Smoke and mirrors, my friends. Smoke and mirrors. The new projects I was working on as the main point of contact for my team? Many people were shocked to find out I had been going through this. Because my team of freaks had covered my butt so completely, so seamlessly. They made me look good.
In the last few weeks, I have been much more my old self. Not quite 100% of where I used to be. But I feel like I'm actually carrying my weight - or most of it. And my team is back to having all of its parts. I've actually helped other people out by helping them when they were barely treading water. It felt good. Their image of me as frail is fading. I'm no longer that dainty fragile thing that might turn to dust if you say the wrong thing. I can't stand being treated like I'm that fragile. It's even worse when you really ARE that fragile.
So today, I felt like I gave a full 100% for the first time in a long time. And it felt SO good. It felt so good to crank out some critical stuff that was needed immediately. It felt good to mock up some screen prototypes for the web coders. It felt good to play liaison between the customers and my tech team. It felt good to bring the new guy up to speed on what we do. And it felt good to exchange silly IMs with my boss during mind-numbing calls.
I am humbled and awed by the people I work with. I mean, the absolute love & support they threw my way is nothing less than God sent. And I will try to keep that in mind on the next status call when we all sound like a bunch of lobotomized keystone cops.
The whole story - all three planes - it never ceases to just blow my mind.
One item I received in my email inbox at the end of the day yesterday: the final draft of my divorce decree. I looked at that email, looked at the 9/11 date and thought, "I'm declaring jihad on my marriage!" and laughed. My boss thought it was funny, too. I have a sick and stupid sense of humor. The other irony is that this is the 2nd "final" draft of the divorce decree. So is this the final-er draft? And the next one I get - will it be the final-est draft? Or will it just be like, "Final draft #12 in a series"....collect all 66! Trade with your friends!
I was very busy today. Work was work. Busy work. I'm rejoining the fully functional working adults that have been carrying my sorry butt for months now. Each day, I become more like the old employee I was. And that's a good thing. A few years back, when I was newly a mother of two, my immediate corporate America told all of us IT dorks that we'd need to buckle down, suck it up, put our noses to the grindstone and squeeze out just a tiny bit more blood from our proverbial stone. Since the Y2K projects that started in 1997, there aren't many IT people that haven't been working ridiculous schedules almost every year. So to come to people who feel like they're already working 24/7, not taking vacations, not watching their babies grow up and ask, hey can you guys start giving just a little more? Oh...and for the same pay? Yah, that went over big. I remember going to my boss' office and crying as I told her she might want to move me onto a less critical project as I could only give 100% and not the 120% they were asking. Kind of, hey, demote me to the piddly systems that won't exist much longer so I can try to remember what my kids look like. I remember the look of sheer disbelief on her face. I figured she was disappointed that I wasn't going to just give up leaving the work building altogether. But she was shocked I was worried about my ability to deliver. She said to me, "I get more out of you in 8 hours than some people give in a week." I was floored. And it felt damned good. From that moment on, I knew I was valued and I knew I kicked butt at work. And I realized many of my coworkers recognized it, too. That's an amazingly freeing feeling - to know you are valued.
Well, when my personal world shattered back around the new year, I went from that amazing 100% awesome worker to that 80% awesome worker. It just kept going downhill until late April. When future ex walked out the door, I became non-functioning, giant-pile-of-goo-on-the-floor, worker. Confused, discombobulated, zombie worker. I felt like I was in a constant state of Homer-Simpson - blank stare and drooling. It was a terrifying place for me. I was literally unable to fully contribute. I could plod along on the easier points of my job. But most points of my job are anything but easy. It's all brain work. It's all date driven and needed last week. It's all thinking on the fly, design a plan with which you can build the Taj Mahal after being given two toothpicks, a rubber band and $5. And we do it. Every year my team pulls miracles out of the depths of nothing. I'm part of a team of cream-of-the-crop insane people. You'd never know the cream-of-the-crop part to see us as a group. We're the doofiest looking bunch of miscreants. And you'd never know it by looking at the IMs or emails we exchange to alleviate the boredom of red-tape-laden conference calls. But they're all the bomb. And I hated feeling like I was letting them down. Dead weight. I can't stand dead weight.
But these beautiful people that can drive me out of my mind...this collection of weirdos that make me frequently consider a job as a dog-walker - they all rallied to me. I didn't even know it. I'm pretty sure my boss just went all Patton on them and gave them some inspirational direction on my behalf. Because suddenly, my emails were being answered by one coworker. Production problems were being researched and resolved for me. People were showing up on conference calls as "backup" and pretty much bailing me out. Smoke and mirrors, my friends. Smoke and mirrors. The new projects I was working on as the main point of contact for my team? Many people were shocked to find out I had been going through this. Because my team of freaks had covered my butt so completely, so seamlessly. They made me look good.
In the last few weeks, I have been much more my old self. Not quite 100% of where I used to be. But I feel like I'm actually carrying my weight - or most of it. And my team is back to having all of its parts. I've actually helped other people out by helping them when they were barely treading water. It felt good. Their image of me as frail is fading. I'm no longer that dainty fragile thing that might turn to dust if you say the wrong thing. I can't stand being treated like I'm that fragile. It's even worse when you really ARE that fragile.
So today, I felt like I gave a full 100% for the first time in a long time. And it felt SO good. It felt so good to crank out some critical stuff that was needed immediately. It felt good to mock up some screen prototypes for the web coders. It felt good to play liaison between the customers and my tech team. It felt good to bring the new guy up to speed on what we do. And it felt good to exchange silly IMs with my boss during mind-numbing calls.
I am humbled and awed by the people I work with. I mean, the absolute love & support they threw my way is nothing less than God sent. And I will try to keep that in mind on the next status call when we all sound like a bunch of lobotomized keystone cops.
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