The Forgiven

What's your unforgivable sin? I mean, the one that you could never forgive. I can think of a few that would test my ability to survive.  Most of which I've asked God to never let me be tested in that way.

In 2007, I encountered one at the top of my short-sighted limited list and called a lawyer.  A year later, I stood in front of a judge as he signed my divorce papers.  I stood with the same deer in the headlights look as about 10 other people sitting there waiting their turn.

The majority of my divorce survival, I prayed for different things. Mostly, "God, help me get through this moment, hour, day."  But often I asked him to please put true forgiveness in my heart.  I knew it wouldn't happen solely by my own efforts.  Back then, if you Googled "Hell Hath No Fury", I would swear you'd have found my picture.

God kept me . . . sane, I guess.  When I wasn't attempting to control my fate, he generally kept me from hatred.  He was also good enough to allow me the ugly feelings.  But he didn't let me settle there.

God sent my parents here.  He put me in a very unique neighborhood full of friends that helped (and still do).  Often times, unasked.  He gave me the perfect church of patient people able to nurture me while I remained encapsulated in my pain and struggle, often unable to comprehend that anyone else could be hurting as badly as I was or hurting at all.

During the whole time, God worked on The Ex, too.  Quite frequently, he let me witness it.

In 2010, The Ex returned to my state and town. An answer to many prayers of two awesome boys.  And to many of my own.  But it was hard.  It renewed my pain, anger, resentment and need to see him punished.

He returned to various levels of disdain - not just from me but from those in my world that had stood by me.  His own struggle with guilt and shame was made heavier by the judgment of those that loved me.

God sent some of His True People to The Ex.  My pastors, my music director & his wife, and a couple of other folks from my church.  Many of my friends took their lead from me and allowed themselves to be friendly to him.  Many were surprised to find he wasn't a horrible person.

It has taken almost three years in close proximity but God is rocking real forgiveness.  My parents treat The Ex like family now.  My BigSis and her TallGuy would have been first in line to kick his ass back in the early days of the horror show.  And now they accept him as family, too.  That is some grace right there, I tell yah.

You will be shocked and dismayed to hear that I am not perfect.  Nay, it is so.  Most days, I feel like I have completely forgiven The Ex and can be perfectly strong in our friendship.  We laugh a lot.  We watch TV with the boys a lot.  We eat out a lot.  I mean, he was my best friend for 17 years.  Losing that was awful.  God restoring our friendship is just one in a huge thread of miracles in this story.

My imperfection comes in the fragility of my resolve.  I am easily undone by events that remind me of the wrong done me.  I am easily undone by the enemy reminding me of things The Ex did back when we were dissolving.  I am easily undone by any tiny misstep he takes in our friendship.

Over and over these last few years, God keeps reminding me "There IS no unforgivable sin." Not with God.  Humans, sure.  We have our limits.  But even those can be overcome if we ask God to help us.  So I keep asking God to help me forget.  Wipe the bad memories from my brain.  When they come, I tell the enemy to piss off.  Then I box up the memory or emotion, put it down and ask God to take it.  Then I ask him to help me move on without it.  To help me make NEW memories with my friend, The Ex.

Since the holidays - when I had a major Hell Hath No Fury meltdown with The Ex - we have turned a major corner.  We communicate more regularly.  If something is eating at me and I can't make it leave, I tell The Ex.  And he will talk to me.  Sometimes, he lets me cry or vent or just explain how frustrated I am.  I keep thinking each of these episodes will chase him off again.  He has told me that will never happen again.

We are working with God, our church, and counselors to clear the mess between us.  We don't have to FIX all the problems that were there right this minute.  But we are both committed to get them out in the open, identify them, work at making sure we don't repeat it.  How could we ever move on to new relationships if we can't do that?

My point to this whole blathering mess is this: There IS no unforgivable sin.  For me as a human, there are offenses that could take me a lifetime to forgive.  But The Ex has a blank slate from God.  I get a re-do from God all the time.  I want to give The Ex the same blank slate that God already gave him.  And that God repeatedly gives me.

It doesn't really matter what he or I did to break our marriage and get it to the point where we canned it.

What matters is my God came down and suffered all the trappings of humanity - including torture and murder - to allow me my blank slate and freedom from the slavery of a crazy litany of rules.  The least I can do is forgive someone for being imperfect and allow him to be the wonderful guy I met back in the late 80's and shared my life with for 17 years.  And I thank God that he's given The Ex an extra helping of patience to deal with my imperfect humanity while I ride the roller coaster of forgiveness.

Transitions

Our church is about to hit a big transition. Our head pastors, Kenny & Michelle, are moving out to California to attend an amazing school for three years. I'm so excited for them! There is a part of me that wants to go to this school. If my boys end up choosing this school for their college years, I will be over the moon!

The new pastors are not set in stone yet. We are pretty sure we know who it will be but God has to rock some pretty big miracles to get them here.

When churches change pastors, they change many members. A lot of people visit a church and connect to something there. Very often, it's the pastor. In my case, I joined this church back in 2005. A little over a year later, the head pastors moved to southern California to pastor a larger church there. That's when Kenny & Michelle took over. Our membership morphed for a while. But we eventually hit our stride (or at least, I think we did).

Many of my church friends are very connected to Kenny & Michelle. I am, too. So I'm praying hard for my church. That God do what's best and help people to keep their hearts and minds open to the new pastors and their style.

I'm oddly mellow about this. I haven't cried over this yet. And there have been quite a few tears. I think my history of moving probably helps. As an IBM Brat, I moved something close to 8 times by the time I was 13. I know the reality of relationships. They come and go with life changes and seasons. I know my true friends are just that, no matter how much distance is between us. Those true friends are there for me no matter how often we see each other.

So the thought of Kenny & Michelle leaving to follow God's calling is exciting to me. I envy people who clearly hear from God to pick up and do something specific. I know I will see them again when they visit their family still in this area. I know I will haunt them on Facebook.

Today was Kenny's 2nd to last time preaching. As he spoke, I was hit with a momentary pit in the stomach. I think there will be a sense of loss I'm not quite understanding at the moment. I had trouble listening to his message. I thought how far we had come. In 2007, when he started speaking, he was rough and nervous. Now, he speaks easily, straight from the heart. He shares from his life, being extremely honest about his early days, before Jesus had his heart. He talks very candidly about how he used to be. Everyone can relate to imperfection and we love that he can relate to our imperfections. He never pretends to be oh-so-perfect. He is welcoming and is the first to admit that he's flawed just like anyone else.

In 2007, they had just announced he would become the new head pastor and my marriage imploded. The poor guy was barely in his new role and I was all, "Hey, I'm having a huge life crisis and think my head is going to explode. Can you help?" Kenny and Michelle walked with me through that journey. Sometimes, counseling me. Sometimes, Michelle just sitting there as I sat on her bedroom floor, bawling, thoughts tumbling jumbled from my mouth. I have no idea how they found the strength to handle it all. Learning how to pastor a church and me in crisis mode every time I saw them. I doubt that's how they think of it. But I look back on that time - I was so needy. I couldn't see beyond my own swirling misery. I had nothing to give - only desperately draining whatever I could out of all around me.

Kenny also had a heart for The Ex. I could tell he truly loved The Ex, whether I was mid-hate or wrestling with feelings of vengeance or forgiveness. He never stopped praying for The Ex. It was hard to take during the times I wanted God to punt The Ex to Pluto. But in my more lucid moments, I thanked God that someone had the heart to truly pray for The Ex.

Kenny and Michelle have always been champions of my little fractured family. Kenny was one of the men in my church that recognized the need my boys had for a reassuring word from a man. These wonderful men in my church took my boys under their collective wings. Kenny always had a hug for them. If the boys asked him things, he always made time - talking to them like they were the only ones in the room. Once, Kenny was going to give his testimony as the message. At the time, BigBro was really wrestling with anger about the divorce. Kenny invited BigBro to stay for the service instead of going to kids' class. BigBro stayed and listened to EVERY word. Kenny shared his experience as a child of divorce. I still think that stays in BigBro's head.

Once, when BigBro was very upset and worried about something spiritual - I can't recall what - I think it was heaven - I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do. I called Michelle and asked if she would talk to BigBro. She did. At length. I'm not sure what all she told him. But when they hung up, BigBro was at peace.

Kenny & Michelle have baptized both of my boys. I had always warned Kenny that I expected him to perform my next marriage and had joked that it was up to Kenny to find me my groom!

The Ex joins us at church very frequently because of his strong connection to many of our church friends. When I told him Kenny & Michelle were leaving, it hurt. He had just returned to Texas and had very few friends. Kenny & Michelle - he knew - were true friends. So he was loath to lose them.

Kenny & Michelle walked with me in my journey from utter desolation to being a strong God Girl. They have encouraged me, called me to the mat on certain things, gently corrected me, joked with me, been examples of selfless service, pointed out my strengths when I couldn't see them. There are many times in my day to day life when I'm at a decision point. At some of these times, I pause and think, "What would [so-and-so] do here?" God has blessed me with many fine examples to put in that [so-and-so] bracket. Kenny & Michelle are often inserted there.

It will be hard to let them go. Selfishly, I want them here. But I will send them off with blessings. And will cheer them on as God takes them into their next season.

I love you, Kenny & Michelle.

An Aside: My Friend Joe

I have promised a new year update to quite a few of you. I promise I will update soon. But right now, I want to introduce you to a wonderful friend of mine. I don't know if I've ever posted about all my efforts with acupuncture back in 1998 through 2001. The very brief version of the story goes like this:

I was sick ALL the time. I would use all vacation & sick time due to bladder, bronchial and/or sinus infections. I caught every cold, flu or whatever that floated around. I thought it was just my lot.

In 1998, a coworker pointed me to a doctor that had cure chronic bladder infections for his wife. But it was an acupuncturist. Back in 1998, I liked to think I was open minded. Well, like most people, I was open to anything that fit in my small life parameters. Acupuncture was snake oil to me. Fake. A waste of time and/or money. I poo poo'd my friend's information.

A few months later, after one or more bladder infections every month, I asked this guy, "So...what was that doctor's name again?"

Ok, I'm not being brief. I went to Doctor Joe. I was expecting a short Asian dude. I got a tall white guy. I thought it wouldn't work because I didn't believe in it. Thankfully, I was wrong. Joe educated me about the natural electrical currents that run through our bodies. They are supposed to run in certain pathways. When something whacks one or more out of alignment, it can affect the flow of others. So if these electrical currents get out of whack, they can cause any kind of problem. That sounded less hokey pokey to me than I had expected. So, the needles are used to realign the currents into their necessary pathways. That's my take on it. That's "Acupuncture As Explained By A Moron" take on it.

Joe also changed my nutritional intake. Everything you put in your body should be thought of just like any drug you'd take. Everything affects your body in different ways. Even foods. And some things should be cut out for certain illnesses and other things increased. And this changes as your body changes.

So with hard-core nutritional changes (which were the hardest thing I've ever done) and hard-core acupuncture treatments for two years, my body began to get fixed. Not only did my bladder infections disappear (along with all my other recurring infections), my reproductive issues were addressed (I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids), some debilitating head pains disappeared, and I got crazy healthy. I lost 25 lbs in 8 months without changing my exercise. I had energy. I was off antibiotics (which I had taken daily for almost 30 yrs).

Two children I wasn't supposed to be able to have later, I was in great shape.

In 2004 or 2005, I slowly rolled off the wagon and returned to my American diet. Not horribly so. But slowly adding things back in that would undo all the hard work. Here in 2010, I have started experiencing a resurgence of various bacterial infections that I haven't had since 1999. I'm also overweight again. I know why. I know what I need to do.

But anyway, the person that helped me take this journey into a healthy lifestyle was my friend Doctor Joe. He also treated Pokemon Boy as a newborn due to his renal reflux. Pokemon Boy amazed his doctors during those first 4 years because he grew (kidney problems can stunt growth) and his kidneys didn't show damage until he was 3 (which is amazing). Even then, the damage was so minimal, we could have left it alone for a long time and have been fine.

I haven't found another acupuncturist here in Texas. I doubt I could find anyone I'd trust like Doctor Joe. He wasn't just a two-year graduate of some acupuncture school. He studied in Oregon - where this practice really took off in the U.S. He studied in China. He had YEARS of schooling under his belt. And years of amazing successes.

Doctor Joe is an awesome guy. I had referred quite a few people to him when I was in Boston. A few were brave enough to try something new and found healthy lives where they had never had success before.

Doctor Joe recently retired from practice because of his own life events which include his own battle with cancer. I keep in touch with him but he's a very very busy single dad since his wife passed away in recent years.

I love Doctor Joe and pray for him regularly. He helped me so much in my physical life, I keep asking God to somehow repay him for me since all I can do is say "thank you." And that seems so inadequate for the friendship, encouragement and physical healing Doctor Joe gave me.

If you want to read more about my amazing friend, I've just put a link in my left-hand column, just under my little-girl picture. Feel free to go read about my friend. And if you're the praying sort, he sure could use some prayers.

Creative Friends: #3 In A Series

My weekly series on my creative friends requires care. Not everyone I know will appreciate my thoughts on their lives being plastered where anyone can see them. You know, like Johnny Depp is a very private guy. Hahahaha! Oh that was funny.

I figure the next pal can handle my blogging adoration:

Trish/Trish's Dishes
I'm pretty sure Trish was the first non-family member to start reading and commenting on my blog. I met Trish back in 2005 while I still lived in Boston. If you've followed my blog for a while, you know that story. I was going to link to a story about her but, after searching my blog, I realize that I write about her ALL the time.

Anyway, Trish is of a group that intimidates me. She's a Writer. She uses...like...words and stuff! I mean, what kind of craziness is that? She's the kind of person that can catch me using not correct grammerificationating. She knows the difference between 'effect' and 'affect'. She knows when to say "Trish and I" or "Trish and me". She can correctly use big words! These are scary people to me. I'm a former math major. A college drop out. A computer geek. I depend on spell check. I depend on hanging around with people like me who won't care when I end a sentence with a preposition...at.

Thankfully, Trish is as imperfect as she is awesomely talented. She is the last person to point the red correction pen at anyone. She is amused at my word makeupification.

Trish wrote a book back in 2008 called 'He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not'. I love it. I have given out probably 10 or more copies to family and friends. Quite a few people that read the copies I gave them told me how much they loved it. They could all relate. They loved her writing style. They were drawn in by her humor mixed with accessibility. I think a lot of women were able to relate to - if not all of it - parts of her story. My sister read it and then gave it to her teenage daughter to read. My niece loved it, too.

Trish just finished her 2nd book and I am eagerly awaiting its release next April. Book Anticipation rocks! And now Trish is trying her hand at a novel. Can't wait to read that one, too.

Creative Friends: I Have A Butt-Load

So I had this idea that, every Friday, I'll post something about one of my 952,000 creative friends. Especially if they have wares to sell. I'm realizing I'll never get through the list if I only feature one a week. So here are two of my Creatives from differing sides of the artistic spectrum.

Jaime Lee/Like Nailing Jello to a Wall
Jaime is one of my Awesome Blogger Chicks that I've never actually met. I don't really recall how we first connected. I think she found my blog through common pal Trish and left me some comments. We then connected on Facebook and leave each other silly comments and messages. She is beautiful, funny, inspiring and very supportive. Especially for someone who doesn't actually know me.

Jaime is a singer from my previous home city, Boston. When I first saw that, I wasn't expecting much. And let me explain that.

An Aside: Anyone from a huge music city like Boston, Austin, Nashville, L.A., NYC, etc., will understand. When you live in one of those music-centric cities, you run into every 3rd person and their brother saying, "I'm in a band!" or "I sing," or "I play [insert instrument of your choice here]." The first few hundred times I heard this, I would get all excited and be like, "Wow! Where are you playing? I want to see you!" and I was an instant fan. After sitting through painfully horrid set after painfully horrid set, I became more cautious with my fanaticism. So then, when someone told me they were a performer of any kind up in Boston, I'd be like, "Yah, you and everyone else I know." Which is mean. I doubt I actually said it. But I thought it. Also, keep in mind that I worked in a rock club for 4 years. Man, if THAT doesn't kill your love of music, I don't know what will. I saw 3 bands a night. The newbies would come off the stage as if the had just rocked the Garden. "Well? What do you think?!" To be honest, most of them didn't make an impression. If I can't recall anything you did 45 seconds after you left the stage, you have some work to do.

There were the rare gems. And many of them have moved on to cool things like performing with national touring shows like Blue Man Group or Rocky Horror or Stomp or Hannah Montana. Many are making a living creating music for sound tracks in NYC or L.A. Many are professional songwriters, producers or music managers. You'd be surprised to find out how small the world is. I guarantee you that you've heard something that one of my friends has touched.

So you can see how I'm a bit jaded when someone declares them self a musician. Then add to that the fact that I have a very unforgiving ear and am a vocal snob. Oh yah. Good times.

When I finally heard some of Jaime's songs, I was very happily blown away. She's GOOD. And not in that "but my grandma says I'm amazing" way that all those Idol wannabes are "good". She is VERY good. Like I will buy her stuff when it's available. And I am now campaigning to be her backup singer. Granted, I can't tour and I live about 1600 miles away. But still, why can't she just shift her whole life to accommodate me?!

So if you like what you hear on her MySpace link I provided above, you can download those 3 songs on her music website for free. I personally think she'd be a great addition to anyone's iPod who loves beautiful vocals.

Jane/Painted House 52
My friend Jane is like family. Like family that you can bare your soul to and expect to end up laughing. Like super close supportive loving family...that you've never met. Yes, she is another of my Awesome Blogger Chicks. We met a couple of years ago through my blog. She found my blog while looking for...I think she was looking for other moms of exceptionally awesome kids.

So Jane and I initially bonded over our boys. She has become a staple of support in my life. We talk on the phone all the time. We are good sounding boards for each other.

Jane is an artist in the physical mediums. And I say mediums - plural. She can paint. She can sew. She can refinish old furniture and make it look like something people would pay HUGE money for here in Austin. She makes gorgeous jewelry. I'm always astounded by her works. She makes it look so easy but I know I couldn't even come close!

This is an ottoman Jane recovered and painted.

If you want to see some of her current stuff for sale, she has an esty store. She is an amazing talent and I could easily see her making a living from her sales. While I'm not an art snob like I am a vocal snob, I don't like everything. I love her stuff. It's very "me". So go check it out and see if it floats your boat. Even if you don't buy anything, I bet you'll enjoy browsing.

Creative Friends: I Have A Few

This is a link to my friend's new etsy site, Cherry Baby Creations. LadyT is one of my awesome church family. I sing with her hubby when he either leads worship or plays drums on the worship team. Together, they are ridiculously talented and creative.

One of the gorgeous head bands LadyT offers:


Recently, they collaborated on their best creation yet. BabyE. She's one of the cutest babies ever. And I mean EVER. LadyT started bringing BabyE to church with very cute little head bands with bows or flowers or just patterns on them.

Now let me interject here, I have NEVER been a fan of baby head wear. Mostly because, in the 80s and 90s, they mostly consisted of elastic bands that were way too small for most baby heads and seriously dug ruts and canals into the scalps of these poor defenseless little babies. I also pretty much thought they looked awful. But that last bit is just a taste thing.

So when they started bringing BabyE around with head wear, I initially started turning up my snobby nose. Until I saw that they were made of the most soft supple material that never seemed to bother her. Plus, they were so cute on her and matched her outfits. I begrudgingly admitted to LadyT that I actually LIKED them (gasp!). [I'm still not the type to put such things on my own girls which is probably why God gave me two boys.]

I came to find that LadyT made these things for BabyE. Everyone at church started saying she should sell them and now she is! So if you know anyone who might like this, please send them her way. I really think she is making very comfortable items that will NEVER leave dents in your baby's scalp! I mean, come ON! Even *I* like them!

I Can't Even Tell You How Much My Mom Rocks!

Seriously: My mom rocks. Yes. We all know I feel this way. But man, when your mom is just the bomb diggity, how in the world can you ever hope to repay her?

My dad has been sick lately. It's nasty and unfun in the details so I won't post them to the general masses here. He has been sick, on meds and VERY uncomfortable for weeks now. When dad (or mom) isn't well, I keep my little family away. Not because I'm afraid I'll catch anything. But to give them their recovery space. When I'm sick, the last thing I want is to have to keep up with someone else's energetic kids!

Then I got sick over a week ago. And mine is contagious. So now I'm staying away from them for THEIR sakes. Which is a bummer for everyone because they love my boys, my boys love them and I love being around them.

Today was my 2nd venture to the doctor. I went from bad sinus congestion (ambiguous virus - one of many going around) to nasty bronchitis in a matter of 3 days. As I came home from the doc, my sinuses were giving me quite a pounding in the head. I picked up my boys and went to CVS to get my scrip filled. The headache was getting worse. But you know, it's sinus congestion and it gets painful sometimes.

By the time I returned from CVS, the headache had gone into "Hey, maybe this is a migraine" mode. I popped the migraine meds but apparently missed my window. I had barely gotten the boys' mac & cheese prepared and I was running upstairs to shove my head in the toilet. After washing up (and noticing I was completely devoid of color), I headed back down to slop the kids. As soon as I saw and smelled the food, however, it was round two. I was barely able to toss the mac & cheese in two bowls and yell to Pokemon Boy to get it on the table for him and his brother. After round two of the puke fest (complete with feeling like my head would explode with each turn of the stomach), I made it to my bed, called mom and whimpered my plea.

Mom showed up in about 10 minutes. The boys were surprised but she explained that their mom had a headache that makes her throw up and she was there to get them into bed.

I laid in bed in complete darkness with a pillow over my head asking God to protect my mom from any contagion in the house. And then I thought I heard crying. I made it into Pokemon Boy's room to find him crying. He had forgotten that tomorrow was my birthday. Therefore, he had not made/bought anything for me in time. And he was crushed. Because (as he informed us), I always get such great presents for HIM on his birthday. HE wanted to do something just as awesome for ME.

Oh man. My mom and I both talked him down for quite a while. There is just no way to explain to a 9 yr old that birthday presents or birthdays in general are less important to you when you're 44.

Pokemon Boy went to bed still sniffing and snuffling. Mom shooed me back to bed and went downstairs to "clean up a bit". For any of you who know her or her family, you realize that my kitchen is completely spotless now. I think she would have put the toys away in the living room, too, had I not come down to tell her to get back home.

She sent me off to bed and told me she was going to leave me something special to wake up to in the morning. I think she did this more for Pokemon Boy than for me. But I listened to her puttering around down here for about 30 minutes or more. I came down to post this. But I left the kitchen dark. I didn't really look because I want to leave the surprise she intended.

But man. My mom knows this house might have a virus or who knows what. And my dad is still not 100%. But when her 44 yr old baby called, she didn't even bat an eye. She high tailed it over here.

I love my parents so much. There is no way on earth I'll ever be able to repay all that she has done for me over my life time. But I can keep thanking God for them. And I can keep asking him to bless them beyond anything they can imagine. I guess all I can do is pay it forward to my boys. And my friends.

Thank you, mom. And thanks, dad, for giving up your nurse for the evening.

----

OH - and as an addendum! TJ texted me tonight. She will be released to go home tomorrow. That's all I know. But how cool a birthday present is THAT?!

More Prayers for TJ Please

I just got a text message from TJ. It just said,

"Just readmitted. More critical. Will probably be unavailable for a bit. More prayers please."

There you go, my wonderful praying friends. More prayers, please.

TJ is Home!

Just got a call from TJ. She came home from the hospital today. It sounds like all the doctors are in agreement and that she has a rare disease that she picked up from her caving. She didn't have medical terms or names for me. But she said it's rare enough where they'll have to consult with other specialists to determine the course of treatment.

So the good news is, this is not autoimmune or something deadly. She said that news was a God-send. She's home on a bunch of antibiotics and other meds. She still sounds winded but in great spirits. Her Facebook entries still have her crazy humor. So I know she's doing better!

While all of this news gives everyone relief, she is still in rough shape. I just started a cold or some such sinus thing so I can't go near her. GAH! But I can offer to bring her family stuff or to cover her duties as a school volunteer. I just want to go sit on the couch with her, though. Oh well. We said we'll have to settle for sending each other silly text messages and pictures over the phone.

Thank you ALL for your prayers. She knows she has been hugely covered through this. I'm sure that has helped. Continued prayer for her comfort and recovery are welcome. Your collective faith is amazing and I love being able to count on it!

Update on TJ

Over the weekend, TJ was admitted to a local hospital. The pain and discomfort was just becoming too much to handle at home. I've talked to her a few times and her spirits are as up as can be. She has her little NetBook at the hospital and is keeping touch through email and Facebook.

Today, they are going to scope her lungs. Which means a camera down the throat and into the lungs. I have heard this is not a pleasant procedure. I have no idea what time she's having this. She may be done already for all I know.

They are hoping that the scope will give them an idea of what this is. One theory is that she picked up some kind of mold or fungus from some caving she does. Just hard to say at this point.

Thanks for all of the emails and comments for her. I will share them with her once I have a chance. Your prayers are welcome and I thank you guys for your faith and prayers for strangers. You all rock.

4:11pm update:
I called TJ's hospital room and she had just returned from the biopsy. So the scope turned into a biopsy. I don't know much more than that. But hopefully the biopsy will tell them something. She was sore and exhausted (I can't imagine!) but in good spirits.

Prayer Request

For all of my praying bloggers, please pray for my pal TJ. She's the mom of two boys that are great friends with my boys. She is one of those always-there-for-you friends. She lets me be as imperfect or goofy as I need to be. She makes me laugh until I need adult diapers and she has let me cry rivers of snot all over her t-shirt.

You get the picture.

Anyway, TJ has been coughing for a while. This week, it has progressed to extreme pain and coughing up blood. The CT scan shows hemorrhaging in her lungs. Right now, it's very early in this discovery. The doctors haven't seen this before. They don't know what it is. It's a giant question mark. She is young and usually healthy. With such extreme symptoms, you can imagine where her mind (and the minds of her loved ones) are going.

I'm praying huge. I'm asking for any prayer you all feel led to send up.

Thank you for your faith and prayers.

Puke Patrol

This morning is church morning. I got up to the alarm after playing snooze tag. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, fixed my hair, got dressed. I came downstairs to find my two adorable boys already up and playing their Nintendo DSs.

Lil'Bro said his tummy didn't feel good. "Up high or down low?" ask I. If it's down low, it usually just means he needs to sit on the potty for a while. He points up to his neck and chest. "You're probably just hungry." I took the risk and got him some milk. After a few sips, he said, "Oh, it feels better now."

I kept getting ready for church. Then he walks into the bathroom and stoically throws up. Ah good times.

My church friends are on notice and already bailing me out. My awesome friend MissSW is picking up all the church food. I called C.Beth and asked her to be the overseer of food service which she agreed to do even though she's lined up for nursery today. And I called my pastor's wife, the lovely Michelle, so she can cover me singing.

My parents and BigSis had planned a nice after church lunch for today. So it will be without the boys and me. BigSis will watch the boys in the afternoon so I can go teach my first Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class.

And my Lil'Bro - he is so brave. I have to tell you, I don't know any grownups that can puke so calmly, let alone a 5 yr old. He just walked in, lifted the toilet seat and "blyeah". Then he just stands there waiting for the next one. No crying, no whining. None of the noises I make that let the whole world know how awful this is and can't you see I'm SUFFERING?! Even when he was dry heaving. Just calmly heaves. It was astounding to watch. Or maybe I'm just twisted. But I really was amazed as I rubbed his very hot little heaving back.

Pokemon Boy is completely puke-a-phobic. So he has very discreetly taken his DS and gone up to play in his room. He's trying to make it look very nonchalant. But I know A) he hates listening to someone puking and B) he doesn't want to catch whatever it is.

MissSW just picked up all the church food. Lil'Bro is asking for milk and telling me he's very thirsty and hungry. Poor kid. We won't even try ice chips or water for 30 minutes. But he's a brave little guy. He'll make it. And in the mean time, I will refrain from licking doorknobs and stair railings.

Friday @ The ER

For my friends on Facebook, they already saw the whole thing. But for my bloggy friends, here's how I spent my Friday.

On Friday, we watched my friend McV's five year old son, Lil'McV. He used to be Lil'Bro's classmate in preschool. They're still buds so it's always fun to have him for the day.

On the previous day, we had taken my boys, Lil'McV and a friend of Pokemon Boy to a really cool local indoor play scape - slash - coffee bar. It's awesome. It has tables, couches, TVs, a 3 level play scape, coffee, snacks, you name it. We only stayed there 3 hrs on Thursday but could have stayed the day.
This is the play scape part - a shot I took on Thursday.
And there's the part mom likes!

So on Friday, Lil'Bro woke up asking if we could go back to the play scape. So I grabbed my boys, Lil'McV and Pokemon Boy's neighbor pal, MissO. MissO's mom was going to meet us there later, after her grocery shopping. So with four kids in tow, off we went. We got there, I found a table with a good view of the play scape and the kids were off playing.

Pretty soon, one of MissO's church friends, Mrs.P came over, sat with me and chatted for a while. At one point, Lil'Bro came out to me with a bumped head. I kissed it and sent him on his way. About 5 minutes later, I hear Pokemon Boy sounding pretty upset saying, "Come this way [Lil'Bro]! Mom [Lil'Bro] is hurt!" I figured he bumped his head again and needed another kiss.

Another mom closer to where they were turned to me and said flatly, "There's blood!" Oh boy was there blood! Here comes Pokemon Boy leading his injured little brother. Lil'Bro had his hand to his forehead and was crying bloody murder. Blood was just streaming down from his forehead, over his eye, down his nose, down his chin. I walked over and just scooped him up.

I was able to pull his hand aside to see a nice 1 inch long gash just in his hairline, above his left eye. So I knew it was a clean gash, not all the way to the bone, not life threatening. Scalps bleed like crazy. So it looked WAY more dramatic than it really was. Since I knew he'd be ok and was just hurt and scared, I just went into mommy coping mode.

[A side note: if I thought I could have done it without being lynched by the other moms as cold and heartless, I totally would have taken a picture of his blood soaked face. Because - to be honest - it was SO cool! Go ahead. Judge me.]

Napkins. I need napkins or paper towels to press against this. The first napkin dispenser I hit is empty. The ladies room is right there so in I go. It only has a blowing hand drier. Muttering under my breath, I head back out. I meet a mom who very calmly asks, "Do you need help?" Yes. Find me something to stop this bleeding. She goes into mommy assisting a mommy coping mode. Which rocks. Because you're completely detached.

She told someone to get paper towels. She told someone else to get a first aid kit. She asked if I needed a phone. She was on the ball.

We got Lil'Bro sitting on a table. He's still crying - understandably. I get paper towels pressed to his forehead. I send Lil'McV to get my phone. I assure Pokemon Boy that Lil'Bro will live and send him off to play (ie - out of the way). Assistant Mommy is using paper towels and baby wipes to clean off Lil'Bro. [And mind you, everything we needed kept magically appearing because that is what happens when you have an injury in a room full of 20 or so moms.] Mrs.P stays close by to see if she's needed. I get my phone and call MissO's mom and ask her to abort her grocery shopping and come immediately.

An employee asks if I want to call 911. No. That'll freak Lil'Bro too much. I can drive him. He's just scared. MissO's mom says she'll be there right away. I call McV and leave a message that I'm leaving Pokemon Boy and MissO with Mrs.P until MissO's mom can get there. I will take Lil'McV with me to the ER. Lil'Bro will want the friend and Lil'McV didn't know any of these people.

So Assistant Mommy has Lil'Bro all cleaned up and is putting butterfly bandages on the wound (which are really just sticking to his hair but hey, it was a good idea). Then she turns to me as I'm on my multiple phone calls and hands me a wipe. I hang up and say, "Oh no, I'm good." She and another lady say, "Um...not really." As I look down, I realize I have blood all over my chest, neck and left upper arm. I really would have liked to have left it so I could walk into the ER and say, "You should see the OTHER mom!" But Family Fight Club jokes probably don't go over well in the ER. So I cleaned up.

This is what it looked like after that awesome Assistant Mom did her cleanup job.

I grabbed Lil'Bro and Lil'McV and head to the car. Pokemon Boy and MissO were left with Mrs.P. I didn't even have time to get Assistant Mom's name. She totally ROCKED and I would love to make her dinner. Ah well.

And because God was orchestrating the whole rescue, it "just so happened" that Lil'Bro's favorite comfort toy, Buddy, was in the car. Lil'McV handed it to him and Lil'Bro calmed down. So the crying turned to the occasional sniffle.

We went to the ER near my house. They rock there. Love them. Have seen them too frequently between my dad's health and Lil'Bro's nursemaid's elbow back in January.

They check him immediately and allow both me and Lil'McV to accompany him to his ER triage room. Lil'Bro was feeling better. I could tell because I kept having to tell Lil'McV and Lil'Bro to settle down so A) they wouldn't get hurt in the ER and B) so Lil'Bro wouldn't start bleeding again.
Lil'McV and Lil'Bro in the ER triage room, waiting to be seen.

After some numbing medicine and cleaning up, the doctor applied some derma-bond (basically Crazy Glue) to the injury and we were good to go.

A bandage with numbing gel:
Nurse G cleaned it up:
All clean and ready for some glue:
Buddy on board for moral support:
Get'n' glued:
All glued and good to go:
The buds still goofy and ready to get outta there!

He hasn't had head pain. He hasn't had bruising. He's been pretty much 100% since it happened. Today, he even had his swimming lesson. His hair in the front is a bit whacked because the glue has made some of it stick up. But all in all, it just looks like he has a cut in his hair line. The only thing that would tell of how bad it was are our bloody clothes that have been soaking in a vat of OxyClean for about a day.

So Lil'Bro has a good story to tell. Pokemon Boy totally did the awesome big brother helping little brother thing. Our friends and some total strangers rallied to our side. God made sure everything was in the right place to rock the rescuing!!!

WOO HOO!!!

Good Question

I'm watching my friend's five year old today. He stood watching the desktop pictures on my iMac which change every 5 minutes. After watching about 6 different pictures of my boys go by, he asked, "Aren't there any pictures of ME on here?"

This Is What Life Is All About

Man, I just had the most awesome Sunday. So simple that it reminds me this is what Sundays are about. Keeping the sabbath is setting aside the day for God. Enjoy everything he has provided for me. Appreciate it. Honor him by soaking up his goodness. And today just fit the bill.

I woke up totally late because I stayed up totally late. Oh, and I had set the alarm for 7:30am (which would have put me completely on time) but then forgot to turn the alarm ON. DOH. So yah, I woke up pissy. And as my children dawdled, thinking they had plenty of time like usual, I got pissier. Oh yes, you say. We can see how this is totally keeping the sabbath.

I pack the car with the awesome food for church, cram the kids in the car and take off for church. I'm late so I don't do anything frivolous like, oh, say...feed my kids. This will come to play later.

I arrive at church in one of Those Moods. The kind that my friend C.Beth recognizes immediately by the set of my spine. The kind that I think I'm so good at hiding. As I unload the food, I'm completely in "Martha Mode" (if you don't know, read Luke 10:38-42). The afore mentioned awesome C.Beth comes to the rescue because - you see - I have hidden my Mood oh so well. She offers to set up the food service and I relent, thankfully. She mentions that she may have seen some sliver of a hint of my Mood. But her gentle understanding smile and complete lack of judgment completely disarms me. I love that woman.

Having that taken care of, I walk up onto the riser to take my place for worship practice. I'm putting in my ear monitors when Lil'Bro comes and asks if I brought any food. Yes, quite a bit, actually. But you can't touch it until 10:15. But he means food, as in, hey, you forgot to FEED us, woman. So I ask him to wait. Drooping face. Departs in full Bobby-Brady-slump mode. Then Pokemon Boy comes up 3 seconds later asking, "Um...did you take us to Burger King today?" [because usually when pressed for time, I whip through the BK drive thru for a healthy Croissan'wich® or the like]. "No, hon. We didn't have time. You'll have plenty of food here soon enough." More Bobby-Brady-slumping.

I take my place with the worship team, ready to sing. As I wait for last minute adjustments, I actually prayed this prayer, "God, please help me to stop having such a big hair across my ass." Now, questionable prayer language aside, God rocked the answer. He removed said hair from across said dark place. I had fun practicing for worship. I didn't keep my eyes on the food service setup because I knew it was being taken care of. I was able to totally relax and focus on the music. And the words.

The rest of church rocked, too. Our head pastors were away on vacation (the nerve of them!). So our youth group and youth leaders got up to talk about their recent trip to Doin' The Stuff. They showed slides and everyone that went (and was present) talked about how it affected them. One of our lay pastors then spoke about what it personally meant to him. It was a really cool, inspiring presentation. And Pokemon Boy told me he wants to go to Doin' The Stuff when he's old enough. Sweet!

After church, we hung out, socialized, cleaned up food service, washed bowls and platters. I love that part. Well, not the dish washing part, necessarily. But hanging with my church friends. I love watching the kids running around wreaking havoc together. I love seeing people stand around, talking, laughing. It rocks.

We headed home. We picked up the house a bit and made sandwiches for lunch. Then we hooked up with Lil'Bro's "best buddy" S.McV and his dad R.McV. We all went to the community pool and went swimming. We were met there by another friend of Lil'Bro and S.McV, A.A and his parents. So it was a big swimming play date with four rowdy boys. Tons of fun!

After two hours of swimming, we dried off and drove a few hundred feet to my parents' house. My BigSis was there with her awesome dog, Sid. My parents just returned the night before from a family funeral in New Mexico. Very sudden. Very tragic. Very sad. BigSis brought a bunch of pizzas and we all chowed down and heard all about the memorial and family gathering. We hung for a couple of hours and then headed home for some TV and then bed.

I mean, awesome church day (where God totally rocks the attitude adjustment up front), swimming with really awesome friends and then dinner with really awesome family? That pretty much sums up my life's blessings in a nut shell. Right there. Simple, no?

Thank you, God. Thanks for the awesome church, the awesome friends and the awesome family. And thanks for the extras like a gorgeous pool, a safe community and plethora of food.

God rocks, my friends. Totally rocks.

Tourette's News and Other Stuff

Tourette's News:
I heard this on KLOVE, of all places. Found it out on Reuters. Nothing earth shattering here but an interesting read. Another version of the report points to the fact that TS is found predominately in white kids (compared to black or Hispanic). Also, more prevalent in boys than girls. Just an interesting read.

Other Stuff:
I was just having a quick IM session with one of my favorite friends and authors, Trish. Talking or typing with her always makes me happy. I love knowing her. I often refer to her as one of the pillars of my spiritual support. She is one person I turn to when I want to be happy or freak out in crisis. I love having people like that. She laughed with me when I called her cell to inform her that I just purchased a very respectable "girly" top from Anne Klein. She dropped everything when I called her from a hotel room in pieces because my marriage had just imploded. Friends like that are gifts from God.

But what we were laughing about in our IM session revolved around a recurring amusement in our relationship. How I saw her speak at church one Sunday in February 2005. And I immediately dismissed her as some pampered "Christian wife" that had it all together and wouldn't have anything in common with me. I didn't like her. I wrote her off as just completely out of touch with any reality I might know. A few weeks later, when I took a class on seeking faith, who do you think one of the leaders of that class was? Yup. Trish. I remember seeing her and thinking, well, this class is a bust. Thankfully, God loves to show me how wrong I am but in a fun and humorous way. The long story short (that I think I've blogged about before) is that she is one of my most trusted and loved friends. A true friend sent from God.

I have so many friends in my life that have similar starts. My wonderful friend Kristen and our other friend Alicia - I did a similar thing. My first encounter with them was...I think at a friend's party. They were fans of this band - I was friends with most of them and was very protective about the guys and who tried to gain access to them. I was pretty smug and not very welcoming to girls who tried to enter our tight little circle. I sized these two up as groupies and didn't really pay them any mind. Fortunately, they were NOT groupies. Well, they LOVED the band. But they weren't just vapid chicks trying to hook up with a popular band. They actually ended up marrying two other friends of mine that I knew through that band. And they have been two of the most supportive loving friends I've ever had. They were pretty much the only two people we let babysit Pokemon Boy when he was a baby. They have driven me to doctor appointments, one of them drove us home from the hospital when Lil'Bro was born. And to think I thought they were just annoying groupies!

Yes, I realize all of these stories are a huge revelation that I am one big huge judgemental snot bag. But the beauty of it is, in stead of God stomping on my head with his ginormous steel-toed boots, he just shakes his head and makes these people I have misjudged my new best friends.

I was sitting here going through a list of friends that fit this pattern. It's pretty funny. Well, it's pretty pathetic, from one view. But over all, it's more funny. To me, anyway. Thank you, God, for not stomping on my head.

In another "Woo-hoo, God rocks" report:

God has once again rocked the money thing for me. I'm not sitting here saying that I expect God to constantly drop found money in my lap. But it seems to show up when I least expect it. And I am always seeming to have enough money to provide for my needs.

I remember back in that faith seeking class I mentioned above in my Trish story, they talked about tithing. When that subject came up, I remember thinking, "There it is...the price tag every evangelist eventually tosses at you!" But it wasn't like that. There is so much more to it and I'd need a whole blog to get into where it came from and why we still continue it today. But the part that stuck out in my head has always been the fact that it's the only thing God says "Go ahead, test me in this! See what happens." [ref. Malachi 3:8-12] Most everywhere else God kind of warns us not to put him to the test. But this, he says, go ahead - tithe and see how I bless you. I've seen so many people tentatively try it out. And I know so many people who have amazing stories that surprised them. I tell you, since I became the single person responsible for my household finances, I have finally really given like I wanted to. It started out rather sparingly. I was scared to give too much away at first. But man, every time I have hit the straights, God provides what I need out of the most unexpected ways. I'm not talking excess or lottery winnings. But I'm just blown away how it always seems to appear right at the right time.

So right now, I'm doing ok. I'm still living off of my severance package. And I will confess I have been treating the boys and myself to a few too many frivolities. I've been starting to wonder if it will stretch. Will I be able to keep the house? Will I be able to get out of the non-house debt I've dug myself into before it all runs out? But through it all, I just keep saying, Ok God, I'm trusting in you here. Whatever happens - house/no house, debt/no debt - I know you'll work it out. I'm not waiting for my big American bling bling lifestyle. I don't want that. I just want enough to raise my kids, meet my obligations and still be able to give some away. And I've been able to.

Today, I met with my financial advisors. And without going into boring details, I have basically just had a huge (in my book) amount of found money come into play. And it has no tax implications because it's from after-tax money (I've already paid taxes on it a long time ago). And it's just enough to be able to pay off the remaining amount of non-house debt I have. Still giving me a good chunk to either put into a retirement fund or into a rainy-day liquid fund.

This blows my mind. Because I dug myself into quite a hefty bit of non-house debt since the beginning of 2007. Between the actual legal costs of divorce, what I paid out in settlement and then the whole guilt spending resulting from said divorce, I had quickly racked up an amount that made one of my church friends gasp (but to be fair, she's a completely debt-free person). That was the amount I started chipping away at in January. Right now - 6 months later, I have it decreased by more than half! And I'm about 2 weeks away from being able to wipe it all out and just have a mortgage to chip away at. That is mind blowing to me. And that is all God. Every tiny bit of unexpected found money that has come my way in these 6 months went to pound away at that debt. And now this!

I know this is not very profound because I'm not putting numbers out there. I'm not really thrilled to say, "Hey, I'm stupid enough to have racked up $xx,xxx.00 in debt in a mere two years!" But you can fill in those Xs with any numbers and you can see it's substantial. Especially for a single mom who got laid off this past January.

God just keeps rockin' the rescue. He keeps providing. Even when I mess up my own finances. He's not a head stomper. He's a loving father that is amazingly patient with us. He has always had his hand out to me - my whole life. I'm just so glad I finally realized it back in 2005 and turned and REALLY took it.

God, thank you for the awesome friends you put in my life. Thanks for the new ones you're introducing me to right now. And thank you for always providing what my boys and I need. Whether it's money or love from my parents. You're so awesome. I love you.

How To Feel Old In One Easy Step

This past Friday evening, I was able to hang out with 4 really cool friends. Three of which are friends from my Boston music scene days.

Kay & USAMike were in town with their band Letters To Cleo. A million years ago, my band had opened for Letters To Cleo up in Boston. Kay & USAMike are now married and living in LA. They write, produce, manage, perform - they do it all. They're both extraordinarily talented. Kay is behind the My Friends Tigger and Pooh show on the Disney Channel. She wrote and sang the theme song and incidental music for that show. She also pitched that show to Disney and they ran with it. Kay has also written lots of songs for Hannah Montana and various movies (everything from Josie & The Pussycats to Care Bears). She voiced the singing voice for Josie in the live action movie. I have the soundtrack and it actually rocks. She and USAMike collaborate with a lot of other musicians. I'm just very happy for them that they are making a good living from music. It is an ugly business and can eat you alive. Fortunately, these two have figured out how to do it without being eaten.

Jess & Jeff are two friends now living in my area of Texas. Jess and I were in a Boston Rock Opera production of the Rocky Horror Show together. Seems like that was a million years ago. She's a total sweet heart and we've kept in touch - strangely - through our myriad of mutual friends. I would always see her commenting on a friend's page on MySpace or Facebook. Recently, we realized we both lived in the same area and started talking. This past Friday was our first successful attempt at actually getting together.

I was nervous about meeting Jess's hubby. Their Facebook pictures look very hip and cool. I am anything but hip and cool. They are in a band together - still doing the music thing. I've met enough rock-star-wannabes to be wary of people who are still in the music scene. There are enough of them out there who care too much about the cool/hip factor and it can make a normal person like me feel very out of place. So I was worried about meeting her cool hubby.

As it turns out, both Jess & Jeff are just completely normal goofballs like me. As we all kept saying, we are all quite dorkitudinous. [Spell check loved that word!] I immediately felt at ease with both of them. I mean, keep in mind, I haven't see Jess since before Pokemon Boy was born. Probably 1999. We met for dinner at a little pub down town. We hung and talked. We regaled her hubby with stories of the old Boston music scene. He's from Chicago so doesn't know much about the Boston bands.

Eventually, we texted Kay to get her where abouts. She was headed to the club so we all went over. It was SOOO awesome to see Kay again. I hadn't seen her since Jan 2008. So the last time she had seen me, I was mid divorce. I was also wrestling with depression, anxiety and had just started having migraines. I was also a lot thinner - ah the lovely Divorce Diet!

The last time I had seen her wonderful hubby USAMike...I don't even know. It was when Pokemon Boy was maybe...a year old? We had all gone to their house near Boston. So that would have been 2001 or 2002? Not sure. But way too long.

I hugged them both until their heads popped off. Well, not really. But you get the idea. We did all the intros and hung a bit backstage.

They toured the Texas leg with a band called Cruiserweight. They were awesome. Then Letters To Cleo went on. Now, I have to tell you, when I was doing music and photography in Boston, I rarely ran into these guys. I knew who they were but wasn't a big fan. At that time, there was an explosion of female fronted bands where the ladies were playing up the cutesy pie factor. As a chick who built her entire music persona on "tough chick", I couldn't stand the baby doll girls. I thought Kay was one such vapid chick. Over the years, God did his thing where he put us in close proximity and I realized she was an awesome person, ate some crow and got a great new friend or two out of it. But anyway, as a band, Letters To Cleo has really grown. I personally think they are so much better now than they were back then. Kay is a great front person. USAMike is a great guitarist. They're both awesome song writers. I'm very impressed and glad to know them both. The rest of their band are awesome guys, too.

During their set, Jess, Jeff and I amused ourselves by taking pictures with our various cameras. After the set, we went backstage to say our goodbyes. I'm telling you, at 12:30 midnight, I'm usually either in bed with my iPod Touch playing Sudoku or asleep. So when Kay texted me after the show saying, "Hang around," I wasn't sure I'd make it. Doesn't she realize I'm OLD?!

The band had a meet & greet to sign autographs. I knew I wouldn't make it that long. So we hugged the sweaty rock stars and headed out.

Once at our cars, we realized it had been about 5 hours since we had eaten. So Jess, Jeff & I headed out to an awesome all-night diner thang. I remember thinking, "I am too OLD for these late hours," but I wanted migas!

We hung at the diner for a long time just yapping and eating. I just had so much fun hanging out with these two. Eventually, we parted company and I drove home. I was so tired but made it home fine. I went to bed around 3:15am. This used to be normal for me - back in my 20s. Which was 20 years ago!!!!!

As we all know from multiple previous posts, my mom ROCKS (can I get an amen?). She knew I'd be out later than normal (I doubt she'd thought 3am, though). So she took my boys for a sleepover and planned a morning of fun for them so I could sleep in.

I had a blast. But didn't recover from the late night as quickly as I did 20 years ago. And I have to tell you, my self esteem was struggling. Nothing like hanging out in a club full of very fit and hip people younger than you to really feel good about yourself. HA!

I had a blast. But it reminds me that I have chosen the path in life that suits me. I love being a mom in the suburbs. I'm not a rocker chick any more. Singing backups in my church worship band suits me perfectly. I have never been more fulfilled musically. And I have the freedom to see my friends perform now and then.

God sure has put some cool people in my life.

Why God And My Handy Man Totally ROCK

Subtitle: Things I've Done That Will Make You Feel Much Better About Yourself

A couple of weeks ago, I started having water pressure problems in my house. They would come and go. But it got consistently worse. Right around the time I noticed the water pressure issues, I was putting top soil down on my lawn, patching up bald spots or filling in low lying places hidden in the grass.

A couple of days after putting down the top soil, I noticed that a large patch always seemed damp while the rest of the patched spots were lighter colored and very dry. Hmmm. I noticed a large strip of yard between my house and my neighbor's that was constantly wet. Ugh.

I gave it a week to fix itself. If you ignore it and don't talk about it, it will go away. Yes. This theory has rarely worked for me. So by yesterday, I was pretty convinced I was looking at a broken pipe somewhere. Possibly in my house, maybe next to it, maybe the sprinkler system. I didn't know. But I could see big dollar signs. And it was making me sick.

Last night I said, "Please God. Let it be something small. Let it be something we can handle quickly without huge drama and huge cost!" But even as I prayed this, I thought, this may be one of those life lessons God needs me to learn. Suck it up, little girl. You're a grown up now. Sometimes you have to pay for grown up repairs. Guh.

This morning, I finally called my friend Wyatt. He's been my "Bug Guy" and handy man since we moved here. He and his wife and daughters are awesome friends and I adore them on many levels. They were some of the first close friends I made at my church. But mostly because Wyatt will come take care of ants, termites, field mice, etc. Blyeck! And he also fixes stuff without charging me an arm and a leg. He doesn't mind when I chick out on things (like trying the ignore-it-and-it'll-go-away thing). He doesn't judge. He just shows up and fixes whatever is wrong. And since the ex took off, Wyatt and his awesome wife Shari have kind of kept an unspoken eye on me. They'd probably deny that but I know they have.

Anyway, I called and said, ok, how much do you know about plumbing? Or do you have a plumber you work with that you trust? I told him what was going on. He made a promise to show up today. This is a guy I called last minute, with a full slate. And he insisted he'd check it today. Because - he reasoned - if it really IS a broken pipe that's leaking, I am wasting lots of money that I don't have. See? He's very protective of his single-mom, laid-off friends.

Wyatt and one of his guys showed up this afternoon with a pick axe and shovel. I felt nauseated. Pictures of my entire yard dug up with hundreds of broken pipes exposed raced through my head. He checked my sprinklers and pretty quickly ruled out that the sprinkler pipes were burst. Yay! He checked the outside faucet and found huge pressure. He checked the inside faucets and found low pressure. "When's the last time you changed your water filter?" Um...says me...I didn't really want to tell him that I was basically 2 months past the changing time. I'm never that bad! So he pulls out my water filter. It was BROWN. Might mean nothing to you if you don't have one. But I've never seen it like that. So basically, my laziness caused my water filter to get so clogged, water couldn't get into the house! Fortunately, I had INTENDED to change the filter. This intention meant I had actually purchased the filter back in January when it should have been changed. So I had the filter. And Wyatt is tall and can change it very easily. As opposed to my Hobbit-on-a-step-stool routine. So bippity-boo and I have a clean filter.

Did I feel totally stupid? Absolutely. Did I care? NO. You know why? Because I was figuring I'd be using somewhere upwards of $10K to have my entire sprinkler system replaced! If not, I knew I'd be throwing a couple of thousand at whatever the problem was. But I already had the 20-something dollar filter on hand. And Wyatt wouldn't take any payment. As he put it, he had to drive this way anyway.

So God rocks because he TOTALLY came through on my "please make it something small" prayer. I hadn't even asked for FREE! And he sent my awesome friend Wyatt to show me how easy the fix was and not make me feel stupid about it.

I have to figure out something yummy to make for Wyatt & Shari.

Wish You Were Here

Have I mentioned that I have the best travel companions in the world? The boys have proven to be amazing travelers. I was stressed about this trip because traveling alone with two kids, ages 8 and 4, rather sounds like a recipe for disaster. Not so. They have been amazing and we are having a GREAT time!

I'll give you some tidbits from the first part of our trip. I haven't downloaded the pictures from our recent foray into Vermont. So I'll just hit our first leg in Boston.


Sat July 26th
We flew from Texas to Boston. JetBlue rocks because of the free TV at every seat. I like to call it "Kid Drugs". The only peep out of kids are usually from little babies who can't clear their ears during take off and landing. My boys were awesome while waiting at the airport. They were awesome on the plane. They were awesome getting from the Boston airport to the hotel. They are enamored with taxis. They want to take one back to Texas. Riiiiight.

We stayed in a schwank hotel in Boston where dignitaries stay. We were in a small room but it was awesome and we loved it. It was central to everything we wanted to do.


Sun July 27th
The wonderful Trish and her Prince Charming came to our hotel to pick us up for church. The boys and I got to hang and see the Awesome Rowing Couple and their Amazing Three Year Old Girl (I have requested to arrange a marriage already).

After church, our good friend Art picked us up and took us back to our old 'hood to hang with him and his wife Alicia and their 2 1/2 week old twins! The twins are such good babies and are adorable. The boys loved holding them. We got to hang with them all day.

Pokemon Boy holding Baby M (the girl)

Lil' Bro holding Baby D (the boy)


Kristen, her husband A and her son R all came over a little later. R and Lil' Bro are the same age. They haven't seen each other since before they were two so it was an interesting reunion. Pokemon Boy and R got on famously, making silly faces for my camera. They all alternated between playing and holding the twins.

Kristen, R & Lil'Bro reading a book:


This was an awesome day because Trish, Alicia & Kristen have been the main pillars of my support from Boston. And I got to see all of them and their families. Total awesomeosity!


Mon July 28th
On Monday, I had to stop by my work office to drop off my laptop for fixing. I brought the kids and basically disrupted quite a few people's work day. It was lots of fun. Except one of my best friends and former bosses was out sick. Boo! But she hears about them all the time and actually instant messages with Pokemon Boy periodically. So it's not a huge heart break for her.

After the work stop, we got some lunch at a very fancy Boston eatery. Burger King. Oh yes. We travel all the way to Boston to hit Burger King. But limited budgets love that slop fest. And so do my kids because they are currently giving out Pokemon toys with the kids' meals.

We headed down the street to the Prudential building. One of the two tall towers in the Boston skyline. We went to the Skywalk observatory there and spent a couple of hours admiring the view and seeing the displays they have up there. It's much more amazing for adults but my kids were extremely patient and more interested than I had hoped. We had a really clear day for the view so I got to see my whole city.

After the Pru, we walked back toward the hotel (a long walk for a 4 yr old). It took us quite a while and we stopped in little stores here and there. Of course, we stopped in a Ben & Jerry's for some ice cream because, well, it's a Vermont company and I like to pretend the ice cream tastes fresher when you eat it in New England.

We also stopped by the Hancock Tower to take some cool pictures. That building is a fun buildling to photograph. Here are a few shots of us and that famous landmark.

Pokemon Boy & Hancock Tower

Lil'Bro & Hancock Tower


That pretty much took up our energy for the day. We met up with the boys' dad for dinner, which we all enjoyed. Then it was back to the hotel for TV and bed.


Tue July 29th
Tuesday morning, Pokemon Boy and I had an appointment with some people that run a Harvard study. We have been part of this study since I was pregnant with Pokemon Boy back in 1999. It was a 3 hr appointment full of testing and measuring for both of us. Pokemon Boy had some blood drawn, too. He was very brave. Lil' Bro stayed at the hotel with his dad.

After the appointment, Pokemon Boy and I met up with my ex, Lil' Bro and my college roomate, KimmyJo. We all had lunch together and hung out. KimmyJo hadn't seen my ex since it all began and told me she had imagined all of these things to say to him but they all just disappeared when she saw us all. My take is, I don't waste the energy any more. I have those same fantasies but I'm sure they are much more detailed and mean. But I just deal with him as the guy he is at the moment. Plus, KimmyJo is a real God-person so she knows about grace and forgiveness. It was nice to see it in action and they both had a genuinely nice visit.

The ex had to leave. We walked KimmyJo to Park Street station and parted ways. Then I took the boys to the Swan Boats in the Public Gardens. Man, I lived there for 20 years and only rode them once. They are so pretty and so fun. I like being a tourist in my old home town.

Self Portrait on Swan Boat

Pokemon Boy on Swan Boat

Lil'Bro on Swan Boat


All the walking wore us down. We went back to the hotel for computer time, TV and a quick power nap for mommy. The boys and I dined by ourselves at a nearby California Pizza Kitchen place. It was a good day.


More about New Hampshire & Vermont later.