I Got Trish. In Hahd Covah!

To use the Boston vernacular: WIKKID YAH!

Pokemon Boy - in his wisdom - wanted to go to Barnes & Nobles today. He wanted to get some Pokemon books. Imagine that. So off we went. I love letting them pick books. It's like taking a kid to a vegetable stand and saying, "I'll buy you anything you want, kid."

Pokemon Boy's first selection was The Essential Calvin & Hobbes. Only after reading a bunch of that did he remember he cared about Pokemon. So there's hope yet! He and Lil' Bro each picked a Pokemon book. Lil' Bro also picked out a board book about fish. And I picked him a collection of puppy stories.

As we were heading to the cash register, suddenly it dawned on me. This is APRIL! Trish's book should be IN STORES!!! I did an abrupt about face and, to the boys' dismay, headed to the Book Dude Behind The Kiosk. Book Dude looked up the book for me. Ryan...Trish. "Ah," he says. "It's over in Christian and Inspirational." Appropriate, thinks me. As I know it is both.

I'm giddy with dorkiness as he takes me over there. We pass a huge man pondering bibles and there they are. Tons of them. Christian books. Inspirational books. But I was looking for the one book that was both! He stood in front of all the books with author's names starting in the beginning of the alphabet. Me: "They're sorted by author?" (He nods) Me again: "Alphabetically, right?" (He nods and keeps looking) I start moving a bit to my right. I may have dropped out of college but I'm pretty sure R comes after the J's and M's. He sees me move my gaze and asks, "What was the author's name again?" I'm thinking, "Don't you KNOW WHO I'M LOOKING FOR? She's funny. She's cute. She has an impossibly wonderful husband and an even more impossibly blended breed dog. She can't boil water but she can testify with humor, grace and humility!!! Come ON man! It's Trish RYAN!!" But all I say is, "Ryan," to which he grunts and moves over to search with me.

And there it is. In the R's. Just where this college drop out would have filed her. And I was right. Her book was Christian AND inspirational. And it had the most butt-kickin' cover in the entire section. Honestly. For someone like me who pretty much sticks to just one genre of book? If I was walking by a table laden with earnest and lovely book covers, this one would make me stop and look again. And I have to say this one would also make me pick it up. And unless it promises to have tales of King Arthur or Robin Hood, that's not my usual mode of operation. So yah, you got the lemming's attention. Tell whoever put that cover together, "Good job, yo." (I'm so street)

At the checkout counter, I was giddy with the thrill that can only come by buying a friend's book in a national book store chain. Especially since there was more than one copy hidden in the back or holding up the rickety table in the employee break room. No. This was an honest to goodness, real BOOK. And my friend wrote it. I wanted to tell the checkout clerk. But, while I could guarantee you that he and I would have bonded over our shared love of all things myth, fantasy and science fiction, I doubt he would have been at all interested in the fact that I was so incredibly thrilled with this one particular purchase. So I shut up. And commented on how I liked his name. And, this being Texas, we struck up a conversation in which I learned he had trouble pronouncing his own name due to the unique shape of his jaw. I love Texas.

In the car, the boys busied themselves with their new books. So I turned on the A.C. and pulled out Trish. Oh yah. I got Trish! In hard cover! Or, as they'd say in Boston, in hahd covah. Wikkid yah. I wanted to read the whole thing right there. But, as it was approaching dinner time, I doubted my boys would sit there for that many hours. Those darn kids and their need to eat! So I tried to call Trish. But being a true celebrity author, she ignored my call. Which is probably good. Because she was probably doing something important and didn't need to hear me squealing my geekish glee over the phone. So I did the next best thing. I called Jane and left her a message about how I just got Trish's book and isn't that just the bomb and I'm a dork and I love you and bye. Then, I took a picture of her book on my car seat and sent it to Trish's phone. Because I'm a dork. Have I mentioned that?

And I have to show you the receipt. This is very blurry because it was taken on my cell phone. But Trish, did you know that the title of your book, when abbreviated on a receipt is "He Loves me, He Loves Me"? Coincidence? I think not. I've met the hubby. He really DOES love her.

Well, this evening at my parents' house, I'm pretty sure I was officially rude. We were all sitting around talking after dinner. I picked up the book and started reading it. I hadn't meant to. I was just going to glance at the first chapter. Then, about 10 pages in, I realized I was totally ignoring my parents, my Big Sis, her Tall Hubby, my aunt visiting from New Mexico and - worst of all - my nephew, the adorable dog Sid! Why did Trish have to be so entertaining and engaging in the first page! I mean, her opening disclaimer was the clincher. I made my parents and sister and aunt all read the book jacket and the disclaimer saying, "If you read her disclaimer, you'll get a feel for her humor." They did. They all think she's cute, clever, pretty, sweet...I can't remember all of the other sweet sickly adjectives they used.

I do have to protest that there were no chapters entitled, "How L.y.n.e.t.t.e rocked 2005 for me" or anything of that ilk. A bit disappointing. But I'll still give it a chance.

So I just had to come gush to people who I knew would pretend to care. And also so Trish would see that I purchased her book. Now her people can see one tiny little dot on the sales map way down here in the friendly state. I plan to buy more copies and hand them out to all of my friends and family down here. You will have your own Texas chapter of the 'Trish Rocks' fan club. I am the president. Sorry. I called it first. Make your own chapter.

I'm off to read.