Sunday, April 13, 2008

Slow Down There, Yenta!

One of the perils of being in the midst of a divorce and having lots of people who love you is, inevitably, someone (or multiple someones) will start eyeing potential matches for you. This is only natural. I am sure I have been as guilty as most.

But lets look at a few facts here folks.

A) I am not legally divorced. Rather important, this.
B) I am in no way desiring another relationship in this century. I'm sure this will change. I am assured by all concerned (and most not concerned) that this will change. Great. But for now? I don't want to have to think that hard.

That's pretty much all I have at the moment. But if you look at both of those, yah, they're rather strong arguments for everyone backing OFF this whole Yenta-matchmaking thing. Or for you Jane Austen lovers, stop being Emma - or whoever the big matchmaker is of her writings.

Now all of that is said with great affection and quite a lot of humor. Oh, I'm serious enough about the sentiments. But I do laugh when I say it. And here are the two most recent stories that explain why:

Story #1: My Dad -
Mom told me this story while we were driving back home from some fast food joint. I was in the way-back of their family van.

Mom & dad needed a water softener dude to come check their water softener. He did his thing and they all got to talking. He was about my age, according to my mom. So they're chatting and suddenly dad says something to the effect of, "Well, we have a daughter that's going through a divorce and we're looking for a husband for her." My mom said her head snapped to and she was like, "WHAH???!" But rather than suddenly remembering a roast in the oven and running in fear, the guy got all serious and looked rather thoughtful for a moment. After which he said, "Well, I do have this one friend. He's 52," to which my mother quickly replied, "That's too old!" Ha! Good ol' mom. The guy assured her that he's a "young 52" and works out at the gym a lot. Yah, that's what I want. Some guy who likes going to the gym. Because I'm sure he'll totally be into a 42 yr old house-frau that works from home and gets about 30 minutes a year of good aerobic exercise. I'd have better luck with the Michelin Tire Man. And I could share his clothes.

Anyway, mom needed to get priorities straight. She told him that her daughter's number one criteria for a man is that he is a very Godly man. The guy said, "Well, he's gone to church with us a few times but I don't think you'd call him 'Godly'."

I told dad that if he gets ideas like that again to just give the potential guy the business card of my church. If he's serious, he can start attending my church.

Good gravy!

Story #2: Well Intentioned Small Group Friend -
Last Tuesday, I was relating the above story to my small group. We were all having the appropriate roar of laughter because everyone there knows my dad. And if you know him and can picture him saying all of that, it's just that much more of a hoot! So we're all laughing and one of my small group friends (and co-worship band member) says, "Well, I've actually had someone in mind for you for a while. But I figure you need more time." I nearly fell over laughing. I told him to give me at least a decade.


So apparently, everyone but me is looking around for potential partners for me. Good grief. I'm not even done shedding the first monkey from my back. You really want to saddle me with another?

It's all very sweet and funny to me. I'm sure my desire for a life of being single will start to fade eventually. But seriously folks, let me get the legalities of the first debacle behind me before I start planning another.

Wouldn't it be a hoot, though? I mean if that's how God finds my next man? One of these wacky friends or family members doing one of these crazy things? It wouldn't surprise me in the least. And it sure would be fitting.

But for now, I'm enjoying working on just me and God.

So back off, Yenta.


Allie said...

That is absolutely hilarious. Because of course water softener guys are the acknowledged matchmakers of the modern world.

Sarakastic said...

"how did you meet?" "well, the water softener guy set us up" thats the beginning of all great love stories. I must now find some place to create a bumper sticker so I can have "back off yenta" on my car

Kendra said...

this is funny . . especially since I know your Dad well. Good ol' Dad!! And good ol' Mom! Always looking out for their babies . .did you have fun with "the sisters" this weekend?

j said...

Actually, speaking of matchmaking... There's this guy here in MN I work with that I was thinking of giving your email to.

....Just kidding :)

Ruthie said...

Your parents are hilarious. Your dad, he doesn't beat around the bush much, does he?! It is flattering how the people in your life are looking out for you. But I'm with you, heal and enjoy singlehood. Boys are distracting!