Overheard

Overheard yesterday after dinner:

Lil'Bro: "Mom, I'm still hungry. I must be having a growth spout!"

I Won! Woo HOO!

I was about to type that I never win anything. But I think I've won a few things here and there in my 44 years. Anytime, however, I do win something, I totally get all excited.

As my pal was wrapping up her old blog, she had a quick jewelry give away. Since I was the only comment, I won! How funny is that?! I told her not to rush and just get it to me when she could. She got it here just in time for the end of my birth-month (hee hee!). Here is a picture of me wearing it this afternoon as I watched my boys play in the gorgeous cool sunny day.

Thanks Stacy. You totally made my birth-month!

Job Hunt - Belly Intellesting

If you recall from my previous post, I had a great interview with a local company. I've been in communication with them now for two months, all told. They were working on getting me an offer for a position I really wanted. I've kept looking, however. Because, until you have the offer in your hot little hands, you ain't got nothin'. I will confess, I had been doing much more minimal work in my continued job search because most of the conversations with the company sounded very positive. It seemed a done deal.

Today, I received an email that the requisition for my position had not been approved by senior management. So no job.

It's a bit of a blow, I admit. But again, I'm very surprised by how calm I am. I'm not dancing around farting rainbows or anything. Not by any means. [Although, that would be pretty cool! But I digress.]

So here we go. It's all you, God. I'm ok with wherever you take this. Just help me be patient. And point me in the right direction.

Creative Friends: I Have A Few

This is a link to my friend's new etsy site, Cherry Baby Creations. LadyT is one of my awesome church family. I sing with her hubby when he either leads worship or plays drums on the worship team. Together, they are ridiculously talented and creative.

One of the gorgeous head bands LadyT offers:


Recently, they collaborated on their best creation yet. BabyE. She's one of the cutest babies ever. And I mean EVER. LadyT started bringing BabyE to church with very cute little head bands with bows or flowers or just patterns on them.

Now let me interject here, I have NEVER been a fan of baby head wear. Mostly because, in the 80s and 90s, they mostly consisted of elastic bands that were way too small for most baby heads and seriously dug ruts and canals into the scalps of these poor defenseless little babies. I also pretty much thought they looked awful. But that last bit is just a taste thing.

So when they started bringing BabyE around with head wear, I initially started turning up my snobby nose. Until I saw that they were made of the most soft supple material that never seemed to bother her. Plus, they were so cute on her and matched her outfits. I begrudgingly admitted to LadyT that I actually LIKED them (gasp!). [I'm still not the type to put such things on my own girls which is probably why God gave me two boys.]

I came to find that LadyT made these things for BabyE. Everyone at church started saying she should sell them and now she is! So if you know anyone who might like this, please send them her way. I really think she is making very comfortable items that will NEVER leave dents in your baby's scalp! I mean, come ON! Even *I* like them!

My Birthday Presents From The Boys

Just had to show you what my boys "bought" me (with my mom's money) yesterday.

The plush Pokemon is...um...it's a...let me think...oh good grief, I think I have to go Google it. I can't remember. Oh right! It's a Shaymin. Thank goodness for bookmarked Pokemon sites. And the shirt is the other present. My mom said Pokemon Boy picked out both presents and Lil'Bro agreed to them both.

So there you go. Pretty cool, huh?

Happy To ME!

A friend on Facebook sent me birthday sentiments, courtesy of her two year old. It said, "Happy to YOOOOU! Happy to YOOOOU!" I think that nails it.

My mom's surprise that she put up last night (see my post from yesterday) was so cool! Here's a picture. Do I love my mom or WHAT?!


I dropped the boys off at school. The migraine was gone. The tummy was still tentative. I went home and plopped on the couch. I treated myself to a PayPerView movie: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Hugh Jackman contractually obligated to take his shirt off every three minutes? Why not!

I spent tons of time on Facebook reading a never ending cornucopia of birthday greetings. All of which were so cool. It's a quick little thing people can do. Facebook tells you the next three days' worth of birthdays for all of your connections. You just jump over and put a quick little blurb. It may seem superficial. But man, I loved it!

I got phone calls from dad, BigBroS, BigBroE, and BigSis. I got a text from my wonderful cousin.

I went to the boys' school to stuff weekly folders for Lil'Bro's class. Which means I got to see a bunch of his little pals that I adore. So cool.

I came home, went to CVS to get some double chocolate milanos. That's as big as I can go right now. My stomach is still funky today. So no big dinners. Mom came to pick up the boys. She's taking them shopping for me. Should be interesting to see what they think I need. How much money says Pokemon Boy brings home some diet pills? HA! And mom will be bringing home some dinner since I'm still a bit on the whiny sick side.

YAY for awesome birthdays filled with love and sweet words from friends and family. And yay again for my mom.

WOO HOO!! I'm FOTY-FO!!! Dig it, man.

I Can't Even Tell You How Much My Mom Rocks!

Seriously: My mom rocks. Yes. We all know I feel this way. But man, when your mom is just the bomb diggity, how in the world can you ever hope to repay her?

My dad has been sick lately. It's nasty and unfun in the details so I won't post them to the general masses here. He has been sick, on meds and VERY uncomfortable for weeks now. When dad (or mom) isn't well, I keep my little family away. Not because I'm afraid I'll catch anything. But to give them their recovery space. When I'm sick, the last thing I want is to have to keep up with someone else's energetic kids!

Then I got sick over a week ago. And mine is contagious. So now I'm staying away from them for THEIR sakes. Which is a bummer for everyone because they love my boys, my boys love them and I love being around them.

Today was my 2nd venture to the doctor. I went from bad sinus congestion (ambiguous virus - one of many going around) to nasty bronchitis in a matter of 3 days. As I came home from the doc, my sinuses were giving me quite a pounding in the head. I picked up my boys and went to CVS to get my scrip filled. The headache was getting worse. But you know, it's sinus congestion and it gets painful sometimes.

By the time I returned from CVS, the headache had gone into "Hey, maybe this is a migraine" mode. I popped the migraine meds but apparently missed my window. I had barely gotten the boys' mac & cheese prepared and I was running upstairs to shove my head in the toilet. After washing up (and noticing I was completely devoid of color), I headed back down to slop the kids. As soon as I saw and smelled the food, however, it was round two. I was barely able to toss the mac & cheese in two bowls and yell to Pokemon Boy to get it on the table for him and his brother. After round two of the puke fest (complete with feeling like my head would explode with each turn of the stomach), I made it to my bed, called mom and whimpered my plea.

Mom showed up in about 10 minutes. The boys were surprised but she explained that their mom had a headache that makes her throw up and she was there to get them into bed.

I laid in bed in complete darkness with a pillow over my head asking God to protect my mom from any contagion in the house. And then I thought I heard crying. I made it into Pokemon Boy's room to find him crying. He had forgotten that tomorrow was my birthday. Therefore, he had not made/bought anything for me in time. And he was crushed. Because (as he informed us), I always get such great presents for HIM on his birthday. HE wanted to do something just as awesome for ME.

Oh man. My mom and I both talked him down for quite a while. There is just no way to explain to a 9 yr old that birthday presents or birthdays in general are less important to you when you're 44.

Pokemon Boy went to bed still sniffing and snuffling. Mom shooed me back to bed and went downstairs to "clean up a bit". For any of you who know her or her family, you realize that my kitchen is completely spotless now. I think she would have put the toys away in the living room, too, had I not come down to tell her to get back home.

She sent me off to bed and told me she was going to leave me something special to wake up to in the morning. I think she did this more for Pokemon Boy than for me. But I listened to her puttering around down here for about 30 minutes or more. I came down to post this. But I left the kitchen dark. I didn't really look because I want to leave the surprise she intended.

But man. My mom knows this house might have a virus or who knows what. And my dad is still not 100%. But when her 44 yr old baby called, she didn't even bat an eye. She high tailed it over here.

I love my parents so much. There is no way on earth I'll ever be able to repay all that she has done for me over my life time. But I can keep thanking God for them. And I can keep asking him to bless them beyond anything they can imagine. I guess all I can do is pay it forward to my boys. And my friends.

Thank you, mom. And thanks, dad, for giving up your nurse for the evening.

----

OH - and as an addendum! TJ texted me tonight. She will be released to go home tomorrow. That's all I know. But how cool a birthday present is THAT?!

A Halloween Diversion

For those of you that don't already read my friend Beck's blog, I have a treat for you. Beck is an amazing writer and mom (I've asked her repeatedly to adopt me). For Halloween, she has been putting a dark spin on some classic children's stories. They just keep getting better and better and freakier and freakier. Here are links to her first six:

Halloween Story #1
Halloween Story #2
Halloween Story #3
Halloween Story #4
Halloween Story #5
Halloween Story #6
[Edited to add subsequent stories. I'll keep adding them here as she writes them.]
Halloween Story #7
Halloween Story #8
Halloween Story #9

Enjoy!

More Prayers for TJ Please

I just got a text message from TJ. It just said,

"Just readmitted. More critical. Will probably be unavailable for a bit. More prayers please."

There you go, my wonderful praying friends. More prayers, please.

TJ is Home!

Just got a call from TJ. She came home from the hospital today. It sounds like all the doctors are in agreement and that she has a rare disease that she picked up from her caving. She didn't have medical terms or names for me. But she said it's rare enough where they'll have to consult with other specialists to determine the course of treatment.

So the good news is, this is not autoimmune or something deadly. She said that news was a God-send. She's home on a bunch of antibiotics and other meds. She still sounds winded but in great spirits. Her Facebook entries still have her crazy humor. So I know she's doing better!

While all of this news gives everyone relief, she is still in rough shape. I just started a cold or some such sinus thing so I can't go near her. GAH! But I can offer to bring her family stuff or to cover her duties as a school volunteer. I just want to go sit on the couch with her, though. Oh well. We said we'll have to settle for sending each other silly text messages and pictures over the phone.

Thank you ALL for your prayers. She knows she has been hugely covered through this. I'm sure that has helped. Continued prayer for her comfort and recovery are welcome. Your collective faith is amazing and I love being able to count on it!

Update on TJ

Over the weekend, TJ was admitted to a local hospital. The pain and discomfort was just becoming too much to handle at home. I've talked to her a few times and her spirits are as up as can be. She has her little NetBook at the hospital and is keeping touch through email and Facebook.

Today, they are going to scope her lungs. Which means a camera down the throat and into the lungs. I have heard this is not a pleasant procedure. I have no idea what time she's having this. She may be done already for all I know.

They are hoping that the scope will give them an idea of what this is. One theory is that she picked up some kind of mold or fungus from some caving she does. Just hard to say at this point.

Thanks for all of the emails and comments for her. I will share them with her once I have a chance. Your prayers are welcome and I thank you guys for your faith and prayers for strangers. You all rock.

4:11pm update:
I called TJ's hospital room and she had just returned from the biopsy. So the scope turned into a biopsy. I don't know much more than that. But hopefully the biopsy will tell them something. She was sore and exhausted (I can't imagine!) but in good spirits.

Prayer Request

For all of my praying bloggers, please pray for my pal TJ. She's the mom of two boys that are great friends with my boys. She is one of those always-there-for-you friends. She lets me be as imperfect or goofy as I need to be. She makes me laugh until I need adult diapers and she has let me cry rivers of snot all over her t-shirt.

You get the picture.

Anyway, TJ has been coughing for a while. This week, it has progressed to extreme pain and coughing up blood. The CT scan shows hemorrhaging in her lungs. Right now, it's very early in this discovery. The doctors haven't seen this before. They don't know what it is. It's a giant question mark. She is young and usually healthy. With such extreme symptoms, you can imagine where her mind (and the minds of her loved ones) are going.

I'm praying huge. I'm asking for any prayer you all feel led to send up.

Thank you for your faith and prayers.

...And Did I Mention My Church ROCKS?

Last Sunday, I approached one of our head pastors (our head pastors are a married couple and I adore them both). I related a particular struggle I was having that I won't bore you with here. Suffice it to say, it is a very hard thing to cut all of the myriad of connections from a 17 yr long relationship.

Both pastors Kenny & Michelle have walked this long divorce path with me. They have prayed from a distance. They have prayed right over me. They have both endured fountains of tears from me. They have cheered me on as God pulled me up onto my feet. They have loved on my boys. They are just awesome.

So I related my current struggle to Michelle. She went home and talked to Kenny. Then, today, she met me at a local coffee joint (no, not that Coffee Joint) and sat talking with me for about 3 hours. It was so nice. She is one of the Safety Zone people at my church. You know, one of the people you know you can say anything to and they totally know where you're coming from. I rarely have to worry about how something will sound. She's so open, loving and forgiving. She lets me talk. She gives me her thoughts. We exchange ideas. We jump off and on subject. And it doesn't phase either one of us.

Being a pastor is hard hard work. It's a huge sacrifice. I can't imagine how they pull it off. And yet she offered up 3 hours of her day for me today. To guide and encourage. To be my sounding board. To listen and laugh. What a wonderful wonderful way to serve.

I could write blog entries on how uniquely special so many of my church family members are to me. But today, Michelle gave me a real gift. Because who in this world ever offers up 3 hours of their time to one other person? Pretty awesome.

Yah. My church rocks.

Dumb Ol' Divorce

You know, I posted so many entries during the whole divorce thing. This was my outlet and lifeline of sorts back then. I don't post much about it these days because A) it hasn't been running my life lately, B) it's hard to keep entries from turning into an ugly bitch session and C) I don't really think about it much.

But I'm going to post this because A) it's about Pokemon Boy and B) I'm kind of looking for feedback. Bare with me. I will ramble a bit here.

And by "kind of looking for feedback", I mean, I want feedback that comes from a place of love and encouragement. If the only thoughts that come into your head are of bashing The Ex, I get that. But keep them to yourself. That's all I ask.

So a couple of weeks ago, I was standing at church having a conversation with someone about how cool it had been that The Ex had traveled all the way down here for Pokemon Boy's baptism. I guess I was commenting on the distance and didn't realize Pokemon Boy was nearby. He suddenly said, "But mom, YOU'RE the one that took us away from dad." Gah? I was really at a loss. All I said was, "Let's talk about this later." And I never got around to it.

Yesterday, we were driving home from church and Pokemon Boy asked me "Do you think it would be hard to live without your kids?" I wasn't sure where he was going with this. "I'd find it almost impossible to live without you guys," I replied. But then I asked if he meant when he got old enough, he'd move out. And he said, "No, like right now. If we didn't live with you." So I told him how I'd be incredibly sad without them and figured we were moving on to a topic of death or other tragedies. Nope. "Yah," he continued, "that must be how dad feels."

Oh boy.

It's very hard for me, this line of conversation. Right now, the boys have glorified their dad into this sad, lonely victim. I have to put on the strong face and keep everything moving. I am the present parent and disciplinarian. Therefore, I am the unfun parent. I also think that, since I am no longer moping around and lost, it might appear that I don't care about any of this. Pokemon Boy has made it clear that, when I talk about dad or the divorce, it sounds like I never loved him. Of course he has no idea of the pain I went through or the work I did with God to make it through this broken time and arrive on the other side whole and ok with being single. He doesn't understand that, when I talk about "dad", I have to put on a poker-face and use a very level voice. It doesn't hurt to talk about him any more but for years it did. I can see how my strength - when filtered through a child's sad longing for his dad - would look uncaring and calloused.

It's especially hard because, long story short, their dad chose to pursue another woman. He chose this over the hard choice of staying near and being there for his two children. I think this is the sticking point for almost every person close to this story. Since 2007, my constant prayer has been for God to put true forgiveness in my heart for The Ex and his girl thing. And God is working miracles in that department. But I tell you, the one stumbling block for me is this same issue. He chose the girl thing over his own children. Back in 2007, when he was leaving to move 2000 miles away, I said, "You will break your boys' hearts!" His only reply was that he couldn't break the girl thing's heart. I will never forget that.

So here is my boy. Deeply intelligent. Deeply feeling and sensitive. He sees his dad as lonely and sad. Because when dad visits here, he stays alone in a hotel. And every time he leaves, he cries. When the boys have video calls on the computer, there is a sadness that hangs over their dad. Because I think every time he talks to or sees them, it pulls at his heart. And it damn well should. Unfortunately, the boys see this sadness from their limited perspective and think, Oh poor dad. He's so lonely. Pokemon Boy has said to me on quite a few occasions that maybe he should live with dad for x months and then with me for that long. In my head I reply, "Over my dead cold body, honey." But my mouth usually says something lame and comforting.

During our discussion yesterday, Pokemon Boy really opened up. He keeps it bottled up because he sees how words can hurt someone. He doesn't understand the divorce but he knows I was hurt deeply. He knows daddy stopped loving me and now loves another woman. So he is very careful about what he says to me. He does not like seeing anyone hurt. And he tries very hard to never be the one that brings that hurt. I could see he was about to burst with emotion yesterday. I reassured him he can say anything to me at this point. He can talk about daddy to me, it's ok. I explained that, even if something hurts me, God will take care of it and that I'm here to listen.

Finally it all came flying out. He tried to hold back the crying because he's at that age. But oh man. It came out. Just a jumble of missing daddy. Wishing daddy could live closer. Why did he leave? Why did I let him leave? Why did I let the marriage break up? Why can't daddy come back here? The saddest of all was after that torrent broke. When he was calmer and could think a bit.

He finally confessed - and I could tell it was so hard - that even though he understood "it was mostly dad leaving us," he was still kind of mad at me, too. All I could do was assure him that it was ok to feel that. And to reaffirm that he was right. Even though ultimately daddy left the family and I couldn't stop him, it took both me and dad being imperfect to get to that point.

The one that broke my heart, though...he held it back for a long time. I don't think he wanted to speak it. When he speaks something, that admission makes it a truth. And this was something I could tell he didn't want to be a truth. He looked at me and could barely speak it out. His face was a trembling mess. "I just feel like...well...I don't have a dad."

There it is. All the phone calls and video chats in the world don't make up for a 2000 mile logistical gap. Pokemon Boy's therapist warned The Ex about this. His own family warned him about this. The reality is, you cannot be a Dad from 2000 miles away. You can love. You're still their father. But a Dad is the one who is here, sowing into the kids every day.

I called The Ex and told him as much of the conversation as I could remember. Not to throw it in his face. We both try to communicate all of these hard conversations so we both know where the kids are coming from and are on the same page for when/if it happens again.

So my dilemma is what to say to my boys. Pokemon Boy is the tough one. Lil'Bro, at 5, is the kind that just says, "I miss dad," but doesn't cry and it doesn't seem to occupy his mind often.

We're all fallible humans. I, first amongst the fallible! Our gut instinct is usually not the best option. I have had multiple people advise me in the direction of tell the boys what a jerk their dad is. "Tell them the truth! They need to know and understand it now." The person saying this meant to tell my boys an age appropriate version of the truth but with no buffering. The person saying this has been in my shoes but her ex makes mine look like a saint. She has taken this tact with her daughters. And she did not hold back much. Knowing what her ex has done, I'm not so sure she was wrong to do it. But I do wonder if her daughters will ever be able to fix a relationship with their dad. If he ever turns his life around and isn't a scary danger, will they forgive him?

I can understand this avenue. But at the same time, there's a part of it that feels wrong to me. There is something very real about shredding some one's image - whether they deserve it or not. I think about the Proverbs that talk about honoring your parents. And I remember wondering how in the world someone who has been abused or someone who has absentee addicted parents is supposed to honor their parents. My wonderful pastors suggested that, perhaps if you can't support them in tangible ways, you can honor them by not slandering them. Not smearing their name. Not waving their flags of shame for all the world to see. I think that's a wise thought.

I also wonder, if you give children the whole truth about an imperfect parent, it can scar their view of that parent forever. And if that parent later turns their life around, how does that child now find forgiveness for the parent? I just think of deep personal truths I have held all my life from childhood that are just NOW being challenged as God opens my eyes. Anger I held on to that was born of the immature perspective of a very young kid who didn't have all the information. I'm just now working on shedding some of that.

So if I slam their dad, I don't think I'm being honorable. I have to find truths to tell them. I won't sugar-coat it. But they don't need to know all the intimate horrible details.

The flip side is my human side that doesn't think it's fair that a man who has made all of these awful, hurtful decisions gets to walk away without a scratch on him. He chose to leave his children and now he's a glorified sad victim. He left them yet sits 2000 miles away saying, "Boy, I miss my kids." It's very very hard to be a good person here. There are times when I call him out and hold his feet to the fire. But those are rare. He is quite good at making his own suffering.

I don't have a lot of people around me that have dealt with divorce while really really trying to follow God. So I don't know who to go to. There are a few. And I talk to them as often as possible to get their perspective and see how they've dealt with things. I suspect there are more people who have been touched by divorce around me than I know. It's not exactly a subject lots of people like to talk about. No matter which role you had in the whole story - it's awful.

Last night, once Pokemon Boy had finally calmed down, I prayed over him. And we prayed for daddy. I have been praying for The Ex since this all began. But I hadn't done it in earshot of the boys. That is a mistake I will now rectify. I told them both that I have always prayed for daddy and now I'll make sure I do that with each of them.

Pokemon Boy turned to me and said, "Mom, I hope this never happens to anyone we know."

Amen, my little man. Amen.

Painting Ain't for Sissies

I have had little paint swatch cards hanging on walls all over my house since 2006. The Ex and I had all sorts of colors picked out for each room. We were going to hire some painters to do the whole interior. Well, it's the last quarter of 2009 and I still have little paint swatch cards hanging in all my rooms. Granted I've changed most of the colors because I can tell you, when you pick colors with someone and then he moves in with someone else, yah, you change those colors.

ANYhoo...

Today I painted my downstairs bathroom. Well, powder room. We Americans call anything with a toilet a "bathroom" which makes no sense at all. So sue me. Anyway, since 2006, I've had two dark smoky blue color swatches hanging in there, battling it out for my affections. Two days ago, I took the two swatches to the store and flipped through those paint idea brochures looking for something stunning that looked like either of my choices. I found a "bathroom" picture that was probably some studio because I doubt many people have 400 square foot bathrooms like that. Anyway, the color was perfect and close to my two contenders. I found the sample swatch and it was similar to my two but lighter. Which I think I needed. It's a small bathroom. By all means, yes, let's make it even smaller by painting it some dark blue color!!

So I annoyed the man behind the counter by having the audacity to ask him to possibly mix me up a gallon of "Bleached Denim" paint. Other people seemed to have the same audacity, what with it having a giant 10 foot sign to the effect of "Paint Supply" right over his head. I did feel bad asking him to do what he is apparently expected to do, but not much.

Sarcasm aside, I got my paint and headed home. It's a heady feeling, buying your first can of paint with which you will cover an entire (albeit small) room. Yes, I'm almost 44 and I've never painted a room. I was a renter until I was 39. None of my landlords seemed to be interested in my interior decorating ideas. And since I always liked getting my deposits back, I was happy to leave the beige walls and just make my STUFF be the color.

Today...I painted. I didn't read anything. I didn't ask anyone how to do it. I figure it should be pretty easy. The guy at the store told me that with a good brush [check] and a steady hand [...er...], I should be able to do the edging without painter's tape. After mucking up about a foot of the door jam, yah, I went and pulled out the painters tape. And while I taped all my edges, I thought to myself, "Why would I have listened to a guy who has probably painted for the last 37 years and could edge free-hand and blind folded?!"

I have very high ceilings. Well, when you're 5'3", anything over 6 ft is "high ceilings". I'm pretty sure mine are 9 feet. And ginormous ladders in teensy powder rooms don't really help you reach the whole thing. Because ginormous ladders don't really fit around sinks and toilets. So I got almost everything painted except one big patch up top over the toilet. Pretty sad looking to have 98% done and this one glaring spot.

Don't get me wrong. I have 3 huge extension poles in my garage. Why three, I do not know. Ask The Ex. But I didn't have a roller or anything that screwed onto said extension pole. So I ran to the same store to purchase that flat edger thingy that you can mount on a pole. You know, that flat edger thingy that the 37 yr painting veteran told me I wouldn't need because of my good brush and steady hand? Yah. THAT flat edger thingy. So I got one and was thankful the 37 yr painting veteran wasn't working that night.

So my bathroom is painted. As I sit here, the bathroom fan is still going - attempting to suck out all the fumes (which aren't that bad, I'm happy to report). Everything is back in the bathroom except the ugly mirror I'm trying to replace. I love the color. I want to paint the rest of my house. But I tell you, I'm going to wait. My little swatches of color will remain hanging where they are. Because I tell you, I just painted a tiny little bathroom today and I'm dead. Beat. In pain. That is HARD work. I'm a wuss. I own my wussiness. I will be saving up to pay some 37 yr painting veteran to come paint the other rooms in my house.








Oh - I need to mention that Lil'Bro helped me paint at one point. I had a regular sized roller and a teeny 3 inch wide roller. He saw that as "his size" and insisted. So I gave him a low spot on the wall to work on. I showed him how to get paint on the roller properly and - to his credit - he did an awesome job. And stuck with it for a good 20 - 30 minutes. He really tried hard. It was so cute. He kept stopping and going, "Whew! This is hard!"