Happy New Year

So the 1st year of the 2nd decade in this 21st century is over. I've been looking at postings all over the web where people have extreme sentiments about how 2010 went. I have no such feelings. 2010 was another year. I have a year of my job under my belt. I've worked hard to learn all the new tricks this old dog has faced. I got used to a long commute after 3 yrs of working from home. We had school, birthdays, holidays, illness, fun and lots of laughter. All in all, I liked 2010.

I have even been able to handle the disappointment of not having hover cars, personal jet packs or silver unitards. Though the latter is probably a kindness in obese America.

I post less and less on this blog. Not by choice. But because of time. I have precious little truly free time and choose to spend it doing more important things [to me].

One of the things I love at each new year is recognizing that my need for this blog continues to shrink. It's original intent was to document my struggle with getting healthy. That was derailed quickly with BigBro's diagnosis with Tourette's. And even that had to share the spotlight with my big dumb divorce. This blog was my lifeline during those horribly painful initial divorce years. Thanks to my rockin' God, that need has grown less with each passing day.

The marriage implosion began a few days after New Year's 2007. I just did the math on my fingers and double checked it on my computer calculator. I have survived a full 4 years since then. God walked me through the cess pool of hell that was my divorce. He pulled me up out of the pit and kept walking with me through the dark forest of the 2nd year. He stayed by my side as I exited the dark woods and began taking tentative steps into light and rejoining the world around me. He set me up in strength and confidence. He surrounded me with an army of family and true friends. And I realize that his protection and help surrounded my boys along with me.

I wish I could document the amazing personal miracles I witnessed. I don't share them in such a public forum because many of them were very deeply personal answers to very specific prayers. Many involved things that happened to other people. So to share them here would probably seem out of context and would appear petty and mean in stead of amazing and glorious.

I can only say that, when all hell broke loose and the proverbial crap hit the fan back in January 2007, I learned what it meant to press into God. I threw myself on him. I finally found out what it felt like to count on him to even be able to open my eyes in the morning. And he came through. Hugely.

So 2011 finds me employed, living in the house I thought I'd lose. It finds my boys thriving and hardly any Tourette's symptoms.

I have no doubt God will continue me on an amazing path. Now that I can see beyond my own whining and pain, I can finally ask God, "Now what?" Scary question. But I'd like to think I'm ready to take on whatever it is he wants me to do.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Happy New Year.  I have no doubt that 2009 will bring some cool things.  God has been pretty good about the uphill travels lately.

I just worked my last day at Big Ol' Financial Corporation.  Very odd to walk away from 22 years in the same place.  Working from home probably softened the blow for me.  I think having to walk into the office for one last day might have put me over the edge, emotionally.

I'm staying calm by asking God to lead me through this whole finding-a-job process.  Just take each day as it comes.  I'm asking for motivation as my natural inclination in life leans on the lazy side.  It is very tempting to "take some time off".  But it's like a drug to me.  If I spent a week or two getting up late and just farting around, it would be that much harder to start the work.

I'm sorry I've rather dropped out of the blogging world.  Certainly haven't kept up like I did back in 2007.  I think it was my free therapy in 2007.  And I still love all my ABC ladies.

Well, I'm having a new year's eve with two of the cutest boys in the world.  So I'd better get back to them.

Here's to what God will do in 2009.  I'm trusting for good.  No fear, people.  The talking heads on the news don't understand how God will get us all through if we just trust.  Easier said than done, I know.  But I'm giving it a shot.

Love you all.

Dad Is Home and Happy New Year

Dad just got home a while ago. The blood cultures are not back yet so we still don't know what is causing the fevers. But he was doing well enough to allow him to go home with some antibiotics. He sure is happy to see the new year in from his own comfy chair! I just dropped off two burgers from their favorite spot. So hopefully, they will have a nice mellow ringing in.

I am home with my two gorgeous boys. I would prefer this quiet night in with my boys to any kind of party. I spoke to Jane earlier today and she has similar plans with her daughter. I hope that, however you choose to celebrate the arrival of this new year, it is exactly what you want and it's filled with laughter and fun.

Here is to an amazing 2008. Can't wait to see what it brings. Bring it on, God! I'm ready!!!!

Happy New Year

On this day, I am keenly aware of my blessings of health and beautifully whole children. As I keep my daily cyber-vigil with a new blogger friend Darlene, I am reminded that The Boy's TS is a cake walk compared to what some people are dealing with. As I shared with a couple at church today (one of many people at church that have been enchanted with The Boy), I told them about The Boy's TS. They both remarked that it was sad that he will have to wrestle with this but how great it is that it is so mild right now. I still thank God for that, too. And as I get ready to pray for our 37 yr old music director as he prepares for brain surgery on Tuesday, again, I am reminded that my burden is light - and not even a burden at all.

Tonight is New Year's eve. The Boy (6) and Lil Bro (3) both tried to stay up until midnite. Lil Bro made it to about 10:45 (amazing) and The Boy made it to about 11:30 (also amazing). They are both asleep in their tents (thank you Big Sis & Her Ridiculously Tall Husband) in the front room. I made little beds in each tent and crammed the tents around the Christmas tree. [The picture above shows THe Boy peaking out from his hippo tent. The hippo mouth opens and closes to let kids in and out. It's big enough to actually fit me in there. You can't quite tell but Lil Bro's tent is an elephant. The pink ear flaps are rolled up to expose mesh windows.]

Anyway, we all stayed up playing games and just enjoying each other's company. At one point, I just sat there watching Hubby & The Boy play Uno Spin and Lil Bro just play with the Candy Land pieces. And I felt the need to soak this up. To soak up the pure carefree closeness that I know one day I'll crave. I felt that, if I didn't fully appreciate the beauty of this evening, Darlene would tell me I would regret it. Because I know memories like this - memories of precious moments with her Mark - are probably helping her through her hell. But I also know that times like this are gifts from God. And on a larger scale, the fact that I'm sitting in a well heated home in a safe neighborhood where no war is being waged and nothing is taking my attention away from those two beautiful little faces...that is a huge gift from God.

I have to tell you two quick stories and then I'll leave you all to go pray in the new year:

1) Last week at church (Christmas Eve day), our pastor's wife, Saundra, gathered the children at the front of the sanctuary to light candles on a birthday cake and tell them the story of Jesus' birth. As she started setting up the story, talking about why we celebrate his birthday, Hubby and I hear The Boy pipe up, "How do we know how old he is?" Fortunately, this was appreciated with some laughter and Saundra answered his question saying he'd be about 2000 years old. I think that impressed The Boy. It just cracked me up but also made me happy that he felt comfortable enough in our church to ask an honest question.

2) This week at church, I was teaching the toddler class. The rest of the younger kids stayed in the service so The Boy sat with Saundra. At one point, I'm told pastor Barry was talking about different ages - he must have been saying something like "little kids and older kids" because The Boy piped up and said, "I'm middle aged!" - I assume he was meaning he's not a little kid and note quite an older kid. Again, his honest comment got light laughter. Barry didn't miss a beat and said something to the effect of, "Well, if you're middle aged, I'm in big trouble!" I was told this after church by someone who had obviously gotten a big kick out of The Boy's freedom of speech.

Love that kid.

God bless you all this year.