So much to blog about. So little time. Remind me to get back on main subject and tell you guys about what's up with Pokemon Boy lately. His anxiety issues have been wreaking havoc lately. But we're attacking it with prayer. Hopefully, by the time I can actually post fully on it, God will have it all under wraps already.
Here's the thing that has me thrilled at the moment: God rocks. I think I've established this fact pretty solidly throughout this here blog thang.
So that plane ticket fiasco I last posted about. Yah, that was fun. I mean, it was stressful to deal with. But financially, it really put me behind the eight ball. As I mentioned last time, I attacked it with prayer. I talked to God about it. I admitted my own hand in getting my finances to such a precarious place that a $630 extra ticket would so derail me. Yes, I know. $630 to us mortals is a lot. But let me tell you, in the not-so-distant past, I had my savings padded enough to handle that and still leave some savings in place. I get a little giddy when the coffers are full. I tend to spoil myself a bit too much at those times. I use all sorts of excuses from wanting to spoil my boys to the old "I've been through soooo much I deserve it" kind of crap. So part of my trouble was my own doing.
Blah blah blah. Bottom line, I was in the red and was facing some late payments and possibly not being able to dig myself out of some increasing debt very easily. It's the kind of place I've worked hard for years to keep from being. It's the kind of place I've been terrified of being as a single mom - afraid that would become the norm.
Blah blah blah again. Sorry.
So anyway, I've been asking God lately to get me solid financially. I don't mean a huge lottery or anything. I just asked for wisdom in spending (which he gives but I keep ignoring). I've asked for some financial windfalls. I leave it to him to decide what that might look like. I've also been asking for the same thing for another dear single mom friend of mine. We've been rather trying to lift the same prayers up for each other.
Last week, I got my rating at work for the 2007 work year. If you've been here a while, you know that 2007 will pretty much go down in my permanent memory as a pretty rough ride. I held down three different job descriptions in my company - all under different managers. The last one I said yes to on the same day that my marriage officially exploded. I wasn't exactly stellar employee material last year. Add to that that I had 3 different managers - only one of which actually knew what I was worth - my chances at getting a good rating were slim to none. They rate us from zero (meaning you better start looking elsewhere) to a 5 (meaning you rock and a whole lot of people think so). I'm used to consistently getting 3s & 4s. I've gotten a 5 twice. Last week, I got a two. It was the usual rhetoric about I'm new to the position and need more training and experience. And it's true. So I understand my rating. It blows. But I understand it.
There was a time that if you got a 1 or a 2, you didn't get a bonus. I have gotten a bonus every year for I don't know how long. I try not to bank on it because, if you do and you don't get one? That's scary. When I got that 2, I thought, well, if I even GET a bonus, it'll be small. So I was trying to pat myself on the back and give the old "buck up girl," speech. I mean, even if they only toss me a $5 bill, it's $5 I didn't have the day before.
Yesterday, my boss who barely knows me called to tell me my bonus amount. I'd have to look for sure. But I'm pretty sure it's about the same amount as I got last year when I was rated a 3. And that is NOT a complaint! I have no idea what other people expect for bonuses. I'm one of those retarded Pollyannas that is totally thrilled with anything that is over $500. And this was well over $500!! She was telling me my amount and putting a positive spin on it - almost as if she was expecting me to be annoyed by the amount. At one point, she stopped and said, "Is this alright?" I was like...YAH! Are you kidding?! I'm thrilled. Like I said, I have no idea what other professionals think is a good amount. But God came through for me. In my book? This is huge.
So I have been thanking God over and over. I don't know why I'm always so amazed when he comes through in such a tangible way. But I have enough to give a big ol' chunk to my church. I can pad my savings with another big ol' chunk. I can toss some into the boys' 529 funds. I can cover summer day-care for Pokemon Boy. I can pay off all the money I spent flying to the funeral and all that extra ticket fiasco. It's mind blowing.
I will forever appreciate the people who taught me to pray. Trish, you're one of them. Sometimes I'm formal. But mostly, I talk to God. I tell him all my troubles. I've stopped being embarrassed about the "little things". I've stopped boxing my huge God into the tiny limits of my imagination. I pray very specifically. And other times, I open it up for his interpretation. I pray big. I pray often. I ask for his blessings: health, finances, love, you name it. I ask for it. I thank him constantly. Especially for all of the friends and family I have. For all of the people that I know have lifted me and my boys up in prayer. For those that haven't given up on praying for future ex.
Once again, God is rockin' the prayer requests. He's good like that.