Monday, March 31, 2008

A Little of This...A Little of That...

Let's give you updates in chronological order. If my brain will work that well.

Last Thursday:
Wow. This was a bomb out of the blue. Pokemon Boy was home sick. I decided to take him to the doctor because he had a fever a few days earlier and his neck had been stiff for days. I figured it was because he slept in my bed on one of my thick pillows. But let's rule out meningitis before we chalk it up to thick pillows. The doc concurred that it was a spasming neck muscle and sent us home with instructions for ibuprofen and heating pads.

I got back to my office to see my laptop screen blinking like a Christmas tree. Apparently, while I was out discussing pillows and meningitis, Corporate Pawns R Us was busy laying people off in my division. The sky was falling in real time and the instant message traffic was insane. Names were flying, some actually laid off, some not. Numbers were being tossed around: everything from 30 to 300. I felt sick. My former boss pinged me to tell me, yes, layoffs were happening but she had no names. They hadn't really let her in on the juicy details.

At the end of the day, I think about 30-ish people were let go. It spanned the gambit from vice presidents to admin assistants. From new people to 25 yr + veterans. It was insane and at times seemed rather random. My personal manager in Hartford was cut. Quite a few people I know were cut. It was an emotional day all around.

Somehow I made the cut. And I have been told that I was originally on the cut list. If I had stayed with my old project (I was on loan to another project for 6 months), I would have been let go. But the VP in charge of the project I'm currently on wanted to keep me so I'm now permanently over in his area. Still not sure of my exact position. But I have a job. So "having a job" is a title and position I can live with.

File that one under "God totally rocks and not just once in a while!"

We all returned to work in duck-and-cover mode. But no more layoffs were forthcoming. At least not this month. However, the major reorg we all knew was coming came. Some of us - like me - knew we were going over to entirely different organizations and managers, etc. But to others, it was a shock. So yet another day pretty much shot with everyone instant messaging the latest information they'd heard.

That night, I took the boys to their dad's house for the weekend. They didn't want to go because there is more fun stuff here (ie - cable TV, computers, whatever else they could think up). They went. Mom wanted space to watch bad TV at loud volumes while doing laundry, picking up toys and trying to make my house look like it wasn't currently occupied by the armed forces.

This was the day we were telling the boys their dad is moving back to Boston. This is the day I will someday win an Oscar for. See, I had to sit there while their dad told them he's leaving. I had to appear supportive for their sake - not of their dad's decision but to be there for whatever reaction they were going to have. I have to kind of keep a blank poker face because, inside, I want to just stand up and scream at the man for even entertaining the idea of leaving his children. I would move to a different state and leave my yah: NEVER. So it is unfathomable to me. Anyway, he told them while I tried to look unbiased. I'm pretty sure I had on my stony stare which is anything but unbiased. But it was the best I could do.

So he told them. Lil' Bro sitting on my lap said, "You're moving?" Lame-O: "Yes." Lil' Bro: "To Boston?" Lame-O: "Yes." Lil' Bro turns to me and says, "Mommy? {dramatic pause} Can we go to the Ossin Chillren's Moozeeyum?" Yes, when your four year old world is turned upside down, by all means, we should go to the Austin Children's Museum.

Pokemon Boy, on the other hand, got it. Full force. He cried. He cried and cried and cried. It made me want to vomit. There's crying that makes a mom come running. Someone has fallen or removed a limb with a chain saw. But then there is crying where you know their heart has been shattered. They understand the situation is beyond their control. They hate it. But they can't change it. And they hate that part even more. He was heart broken. He cried for a good half hour. Maybe more. It was awful. So did Lame-O. For him, I had no sympathy. Cry, mister. Cry rivers. Just don't expect a supportive pat on the shoulder from me.

Well, after Pokemon Boy was able to pull it together, his eyes looked like he had suffered chemical burns. We had suspected he had a sty or maybe pink eye. If you could have seen him, you would have thought he had rubbed Ajax in his eyes. So no Children's Museum today. No, today's field trip will be a family visit to the urgent care center.

One trip to the urgent care center and a dose of antibiotics later, we were all pretty hungry. We had lunch somewhere. I don't really remember where. Then we took the boys to a playground. While they played, future ex (Lame-O) and I had quite a few talks. I told him exactly what I thought of parents that leave their children without some kind of life-or-death reason. He gave me his reasons which to me (and I can promise, most of you) were completely lame and selfish and I was more than happy to share that editorial stance with him. His counselor told him to make his decision and not to feel guilty. He unfortunately is taking that out of context and using that as his carte blanche to just not feel any guilt at all. I can promise him it won't work. He will feel guilt. People reap what they sow. It's a fact of life. It's a law woven into the very fabric of the universe. Call it what ever name you want. But it happens. I don't envy his reaping when it comes.

At 2:30am, I received a phone call from future ex. Lil' Bro had thrown up in future ex's bed. He didn't have any clean sheets. Pokemon Boy was still asleep on the clean side. (Insert long silence on my end here.) I'm still not exactly sure what I was supposed to do about it. But apparently Lil' Bro had wanted to call me. Most parents I know would have told him he could call mommy in the morning. But I think future ex was in out-of-practice parent panic mode and called hoping I'd guide him through the how-to of dealing with a puking kid in the middle of the night. *sigh*

So with pukey-fevery-4-yr-old and double-pink-eye-7-yr-old, I was solo at church. I figured it was good for future ex to have some quality REALISTIC parenting time with the boys in light of his pending departure from the day to day.

After church, I picked up the boys and headed home. We had a pretty mellow day at home. After the boys' bed time, I finally did my taxes. God rocked the refund thing and I was very happy.

At work, not much going on. All of the managers were meeting with their managers and trying to figure out which game pieces went into which board game. I still have no idea if I'm part of Parchisi or part of Hi-Ho Cherrio. I have a job. So I'm cool with where ever they put me.

Lil' Bro still had fevers most of the day. He'll stay home again tomorrow. Pokemon Boy's eyes are better. He'll go to school tomorrow.

I fly up to Boston tomorrow for 2 days of meetings. I won't have much time to see people. But I'm hoping to see my wonderful inner circle tomorrow night. And I'm planning on seeing a band on Wed night that contains two of my favorite men in Boston. And I will be having dinner with the awesome chicks from my old project on Thur night. Then I'll fly home on Fri morning. I plan to be dead to the world all of Friday night and Saturday morning.

So there's your update. Remind me to tell you about a long lost friend that just reappeared out of the ether. I think we've just rekindled a friendship that will be way better and stronger than it was when we left it back in the early 90's. It's a cool story. Can't wait to tell you.



Kristen said...

Goodness! I was wondering when the dreaded conversation was coming. The poor boys. I'm sure it will hit Lil' Bro more strongly at some point, too. Thank you for being such an amazing mom and being there for them at that moment in the way you did. I still cannot fathom how Loser/Future Ex can pick up and abandon his children. But you know how I feel about him... it involves heavy objects hurtling toward his head.

I'm just so thankful that God is looking out for you and supporting you in so many ways. I love you!

Beck said...

Your poor little guys. :(

Mary Ann (Moanna) said...

Even if he doesn't "get" the responsibility issue, looks like he'd just want to be around them, see them, enjoy their company. I don't understand this guy at all.

Also, thanks for the reminder that "having a job" is a fabulous title. Glad you still have one!

Sarakastic said...

sorry that's the decision that future ex made :(

Kendra said...

Argh . . .hug your boys for me. Hug yourself for me, too. And every "lam-o" deserves a good round of puke-in-the-bed sometimes!! Way to go, Lil' Bro!! Sorry - just makes me mad.

Love you and praying for you - you are doing great!!