Sunday, October 05, 2008

A Blissful Lapse in Memory

Well, today would have been my twelfth wedding anniversary. I never would have even thought of it. Isn't that huge? Well, it is. I am so happy that I haven't been thinking about it for a month - dreading it. I'm so happy I didn't remember it today. I'm amazed that I didn't wake up in a funk because of it.

Today, I woke up and had an amazing day at church. God has been lifting my attitude a lot these last few weeks. It's amazing what shameless persistence can do when praying.

So if I didn't remember it, why am I posting about it, eh? I got an email from the ex. It started out "Seeing that today would have been our 12th anniversary..." I read that and had to check the date on the calendar. A few emails later, I got a reminder from Amazon.com that it was my anniversary. I have since killed that reminder. But I was so surprised to A) see an email from the ex and B) be reminded that today was my anniversary. Oh, and C) I don't particularly care. Last year, it was hard. Actually, I recall that last year, on my anniversary, the girl-thing flew into town for a visit with the then-future-ex. Hahahaha! Oh what insanity God has pulled me through! Holy guacamole.

So this year - the first anniversary on which I was actually NOT married - I am pleased as heck to have had to be reminded. And by the ex himself. And with a very sincere attempt at an apology. We have a long way to go. He has a lot of apologizing to do. And God has a lot of miracle to pull off by filling my heart with forgiveness. It's a work in progress. But I appreciated his efforts. His foot was in his mouth throughout the whole email. But it was an attempt. Attempts are something lots of women in my position never even get. So I will appreciate the fact that he made one.

But - as I told him in my reply - the imperfect human side of me will always have trouble with these little apology nuggets seemingly tossed over his shoulder as he continues with his pursuit of the thing that destroyed the the family unit we built. Like I said, God has a lot of work to do in me yet.

But look how much He's already done!

Oh, and I thought I'd leave you with a fun little picture from my wedding day. Because I had one of the most fun weddings ever. I refuse to lock every single memory away just because someone ruined the marriage. This is a shot of me with my friends Paul & Adrianne. It's a ridiculous shot of me and Adrianne has a goofy look. I like it because Paul is in it and has since passed from this life. So here's a fun memory from 12 years ago, today:

5 comments:

Wanda said...

Boy, I've been gone way to long...without my camera I've been having blog bummer....

This is a great post, thanks for sharing...

Cute and fun picture of you...

Will try to get back in the swing of things and visit you more often.

C. Beth said...

Ha, great picture! I agree, it's huge that this was just another day to you. Very cool.

ellesappelle said...

You've come a long way! So cool to hear that. You rock.

mullensfam said...

God is so faithful! You knock and keep knocking! I love the picture... It doesn't appear that your sense of humor has changed one bit in 12 years!

Mary Ann said...

I hope you told the ex that you'd had to be reminded.

Reminds me of my ex telling me that he always thought of me/us on New Year's Eve, forgetting that we'd gotten married on Christmas Eve. At least he got the "eve" right... hehe