Saturday, May 17, 2008



Last night, survived another migraine. It wasn't as bad as the last one which is why I was mistaking it for a sinus headache all day. Until mom stopped by to check on me. She watched the boys while I went to lay down. After a while, I finally ended up kneeling at the porcelain throne. Gyeck. I can tell you this - I could never be bulimic.

Today, future ex actually left. I mean, assume he did. That was his plan. So I assume I officially have the state of Texas to myself now. Mr. Texas-Hater is gone. Mixed feelings. I'm glad to have him out of my hair. But the betrayed abandoned me is a bit on edge. Rather brought up all the old feelings again. I started out the morning asking God to take all the vengeful thoughts away - turning it all over to him. Again. *sigh*

A while ago, Pokemon Boy came up looking rather pensive. He said, "It's kind of weird. I'm not really that sad about dad leaving. I mean, I was sad when he came to say goodbye. But I'm not that sad today." I could tell from his demeanor, he felt guilty about this lack of sadness. So I sucked up my rage at future ex and put my spin on it. "Well, it's probably because you know you'll see him again. And also, I've asked tons of people to pray protection over you and Lil' Bro's hearts - so God can keep you from hurting over this. So I guess God is taking care of you." At this, Pokemon Boy gave me a big smile. But I can tell he still feels weird about this - I guess he thinks he should be broken and crying today. My sweet deep-thinking boy.

Lil' Bro hasn't mentioned it. I imagine his 4 year old memory banks aren't quite making the direct connection that daddy drove away today.

My awesome Sis-In-Law called this morning to make sure I was ok. She's so sweet. I'm so glad I have her as a friend. Even after the finalization and legal death of my marriage, she will still be my sister-in-law. But mostly she will be one of my best friends. Thank you God for preserving friendships with the important people in that family.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Oh...PS - Lil' Bro is behind me. He just told me, "I wish I was in heaven. I wish everything wasn't real." Me: Hmmm. "You wish everything wasn't real? How come?" Him: "So our bodies could stay in heaven forever." Interesting.

Apparently, I have two deep-thinking boys. Oh God, give me the wisdom and words to raise these boys right.


Carol Beth said...

What a week for you. I'm here any time.

I like the word "Gyeck."

Mary Ann said...

Texas is better off, I'm thinking.

Sarakastic said...

personally i like the word plert & the dumbdivorce label. I think you are an awesome mom & your kids are lucky to have you!

Trish Ryan said...

God has so given you the wisdom you need, my friend. He has big, BIG plans for you and the boys! Texas just got much more appealing, all of a sudden...


Kendra said...

He will. Daily. I'm sure of it. And your boys (and you) will be great with the absense of a certain someone in your lives. I promise.