Interesting little men, my boys.
So today, Lil Bro went to our neighbor's. When we got there, I asked him to tell the mom what he agreed to do at the end of the day. "Pick up!" he proudly announced. Mm hmm. Sure you will. He lucked out. They didn't tear the play room apart. Mostly outdoor stuff today.
Lil Bro did announce - on quite a few occasions today - "I want to do what I want to do!" It's the most eloquent I've heard him. I don't really know where this is coming from except he's been getting healthy doses of not-being-spoiled from my mom and from this neighbor. They are both of the school of you-can-do-it-so-don't-even-try-to-sucker-me-into-doing-it-for-you. I am of that school, too. However, I see these kids every day and tend to forget that they've been growing up right in front of me and they're not helpless little babies any more. That and the fact that it's usually MUCH faster for me to just do whatever it is so we can get on with dinner, getting out the door, getting to bed, whatever it is. So I have also joined the just-do-it team. And I imagine that is where Lil Bro is getting this attitude. He doesn't WANT to do this stuff.
Ladies, if recent experience has taught me anything? It has taught me that boys (and by "boys" I mean the entire male gender) will not choose to grow up on their own. Yes, that's a hugely gross exaggeration. Unfortunately, I have way too many boys and men in my life that prove my theorem. The exceptions are too far and few between and not in my life at the moment so sue me.
So point #1 for today is: Lil Bro has an attitude. Any of you that know me are now saying, "And this surprises me why?"
Our next topic - if you'll turn to page 623 in your hymnals - is The Boy and his night time waking that seems to have recently resumed. I had a nice talk with The Boy's counselor today (I think I mentioned that he is seeing a Christian play therapist on a weekly basis - initially to deal with the whole divorce issue). Mr. Counselor-We-Love said that The Boy is doing really well (yeah). And that he's an exceptional child (yeah again). We want to get him into some kind of accelerated program when we think he's ready for the testing (probably mid-2nd grade). He said that The Boy has been rather tight lipped about the divorce thing so far. We don't think it's so much a denial thing - although it could be. But it could be more that The Boy is used to getting the majority of his emotional assurances from me. So the loss is there but not quite as severe as Lil Bro's feeling of loss (since Lil Bro was pretty much 24/7 with daddy). We are thinking that we will see more changes in his emotions on the subject as time passes and as he has more interactions with future ex. And future ex is coming to The Boy's birthday party in July. Much to the joy of THe Boy and the dismay of most everyone else down here. Oh well. It's not MY party so...
But I told Mr. Counselor-We-Love that The Boy has had a few episodes of waking up in the middle of the night - all freaked out, heart pounding, anxious, crying, not making sense. Last night, he had one of these things. He came in to my room, eyes open, talking, crying, not making sense. I got him to go to the bathroom and assumed he was awake since he responded to me saying, "Why don't you go pee," by going pee. And in the bathroom, thankfully. But when he came back out, he was crying, totally panicked, heart pounding and talking about how the blanket was way over there (gesturing to way over on the other side of my room). I got him into my bed and he kept saying that over and over. I said things like, you're ok, I'm here, [The Boy], you're not making much sense, can you explain what you mean? Things you say to someone who is awake and engaged. Well, at one point, he must have fully come awake because he suddenly calmed down a tiny bit - enough to say, "Oh sorry I'm crying mom." I assured him it was ok and asked again what he meant about the blanket. He couldn't remember. But then he said, "Can you find a kid for me?" What do you mean a kid? "A kid to come in the kid section with me." I thought for a bit and realized he meant the shallow part of the pool during YMCA camp (he can't swim). So I asked if that's what he meant. He said "Yah. Or maybe could you come? It would just be nice to have a parent there." Totally...broke...my...heart. Ugh. I would LOVE to go there. I would LOVE to have him with me all day. I would love to have him home where he wants to be. I mean, he enjoys the camp. But The Boy loves to be with family. He loves to be home. I think it will ultimately be fine. He loves being with other kids. He'll adjust. But oh man, made me want to just scream at how all of this is being done to everyone without their wanting it.
So point #2 for today is...well, that was a lot about The Boy. So my point #2 for today is the same as yesterday: The Boy rocks.
Oh and my mom went back to VA today (insert gnashing of teeth here). I had a bit of a freaky day. I mean, now it's real. I'm doing this alone - well, on the human level, I mean. Obviously God has my back. But it scares me. How will I find time to do all of this? Will the money last? Can I do this without constantly losing my cool at the boys?
Your answers are a resounding yes. I just wish you all lived in my neighborhood so I could run to your doors and hear it in person and then get an in-person dose of each of you. How fun would that be? I could get previews of Trish & Stacy's books. I could eat way too much of Beck's baking. I could talk about biking with Jen (because if I tried to keep up with her on a bike, I'd have a heart attack). Jane could show me her jewelry and I could beg her to paint some old crappy piece of furniture and she'd make it look like some amazingly expensive piece I found in the cool section of Austin. Wanda could bake me those wonderful cookies. I could sit and talk with Darlene and Angela for hours. I could polish Sarakastic's tiara collection. Kristen, Kendra, Beck, Jane and I could take our kids on little outings together or let them just run wild, screaming in the back yard.
Ok that's it. You all have to move to Austin. Get on that, will you? We'll start our little commune of incredibly wonderful women. People will travel from all over the world to join our little commune.
I'm losing my mind. I must go to bed. But get moving down/over here. Let's go!