Sunday, June 10, 2007

Random Updates

I should be in bed. But in stead, I'm up typing to you - those wonderful people out there in the dark! That reminds me...must watch Sunset Boulevard soon...

So let's see. I have been battling incredible loneliness. Which is weird to say because I'm surrounded by two adorable sons, a wonderful church body and lots of caring neighbors. And it's annoying to say because it's the male intimacy I'm missing. Not the whole sex thing. Just having someone there who has your back no matter what. Someone to watch TV with. Someone to spoon with in the dark. Someone who loves you. I'm annoyed that I miss that. Especially since everything is still so new, I probably won't trust anything male on two legs for quite some time. Lovely. Not sleeping well due to this. Well, this and the fact that, now that there is no other adult in the house, I'm totally hearing every little creak and groan of the house - amplified. I hate fear.

Ok, let's get away from the gloomy crap.

The Boy is still adorable and is really into learning everything about dinosaurs he can get his brain around. And I do mean EVERYthing. He has started deciphering the Latin (or other) roots of all of the dinosaur names. He informs me of these periodically. Raptor means thief. That's the only one I can remember at the moment. I think God took all of my short-term memory and gave it to my sons. But The Boy is now interested in learning Latin. So I'll be surfing soon, looking for a website to give him the basics. Yes, every kid entering the 2nd grade should have a good foundation of Latin for all those Magic Treehouse and Junie B June books.

Lil Bro is fighting a lovely cough and seems to have shared it with me. His cough hits when he goes to sleep or wakes up. Basically, any time he shifts from horizontal to vertical, all the crap in his lungs moves around and his lungs go, "Oh yah, we're full. Let's purge this crap." He has this violent cough that turns to gagging which leads to puking. It's so much fun. I have to get him to a doctor so they can give me a cough suppressant that will actually suppress a cough.

I have no day care for Li Bro this week so it seems I'll be working from the kitchen table again and Lil Bro will be stuck in front of way too much TV. Lovely, that. My neighbor is offering to help but she has her own kids and life that need attention. But she'll help. She's wonderful.

This wonderful neighbor took me out on Saturday night - one day back from her family vacation to Hawaii. Her hubby watched the boys. She took me to dinner. Then we went to a local huge mall and went to Victoria's Secret. Now, normally, anyone suggesting I accompany them to that store would get my eyes rolling and a huge list of why portly chicks like me hate that place. And you have to see my friend. She's gorgeous and very thin. But I love her and she needed a bra and hey, I just lost 20 pounds since March on this lovely divorce diet I'm on. So what the hell. Portly chicks need bras too. Especially since I haven't worn anything other than sports bras for the last two decades (oh man, I can't wait to see the Google hits I get for THAT little confession). I mean, losing 20 pounds - whether it's my divorce diet or Trish's little foray into food poisoning - is worth celebrating. So I treated myself to a brightly colored striped bra. It rocks. It cracks me up because my body is like, "What is this thing with which you bind me so?!" But I wore it to church. My little secret with God. Look God! I got a fancy new bra to wear for you! Ok...that's bordering on something. Not sure what. But definitely walking a line.

Speaking of church (great segue, eh?)...

Today, I sang with the worship team at my church for the first time. Fear not: the bra was discretely covered by normal clothing. I was supposed to sing last week but the boys were gastric volcanoes. So today was my first time. I sang backups alone. In rehearsal, I sang backups with a pal. And it felt much safer to be able to hide behind her experience. But today, it was just me and the boys and God. It went great. I was so nervous before hand. I wanted to just puke. Before church, whoever is there gets together and prays for the day's service. So I prayed that God would take away the nerves and just let me concentrate on worshiping him. God is nice and he not only likes Ellesappelle but me, too. He calmed my nerves and helped me to just focus on the worship. And all of the songs our song leader chose were so much fun to sing. If I could score a gig singing backups for the rest of my life, I'd be so stinkin' happy. I LOVE harmonies. Love them. I put them where they have never been before. Used to drive our music director in Boston Rock Opera nuts. But I digress. So today's singing went well and made me immensely happy.

After church, we headed to my sister's house and she and her hubby had a big Sunday dinner for us. Ham, home-made mac & cheese and tater tots. MMMMM! I haven't been sleeping well lately so ended up snoring on her couch. So she ushered my boys upstairs and played pirates and other silly games with them while I slept. Have I ever mentioned that my sister totally ROCKS? And so does her husband. I keep telling him that I'm so glad my boys have him in their lives. He is a great male role model for them.

This is really a very non linear post. Very dull. But just thought I'd let you all know what's up. And to tell my pals who just had a baby recently that I missed them at church today and I hope they're getting enough sleep. And to pet their dachshunds for me.

You're all wonderful. sleep...


Jane said...

Wonderful post today!! I know EXACTLY how you feel about the loneliness. It's not so much the sex thing at all. It's so much more about having someone to share my day with, eat with and play with. Just having someone that I love next to me at night would be so comforting and so nice.

You are truly blessed by God to have good, supportive family and friends in your life. Your healing time will be easier than you think. You will still have to work through all of these emotions but it will be easier knowing that you have this community of God, church and friends to be around you.

Happy Monday to you and your beautiful boys!!!


Kristen said...

I'm sorry about the loneliness. :-(

I hope Cai is all better soon. A has a horrible, yucky bug right now that he got from his dad last week. I'm praying that R and I don't get it. (It is, however, getting us out of seeing A's parents again before they leave. I am so sad about that. Not.)

Maybe you should start a line of Christian lingerie! Undergarments for God! My mom always taught us to wear our "Sunday best" - I guess that includes underwear and bras, too! ;-)

Love you!

Angela Marie said...

Oh Lynette! This was a beautiful, wonderful, raw, heartfelt post!

You are such a beatiful woman! Reading your post had me feeling sad, lonely, happy, giggling, to just wanting to give you a BIG HUG!!

I am so happy for you that you have wonderful neighbors, friends and family to be there for you.

You just amaze me lady... I really mean it.

Wanda said...

Oh Lynette: I loved this post...Not a dull moment in it! I'm on our praise team, it's fun yes?
Good update on the boys. I missed reading your blog when I was called down to Jill's again!
Back home and catching up...
Love and Hugs

ellesappelle said...

Hooray, God likes us!

I agree, wonderful post - it doesn't matter at all that it was non-linear. It made perfect sense to me!

Just wanted to say, my home computer seems to have got some sort of virus that shuts down the internet whenever I try to comment on your blog. Which is why I have been unable to comment on the last few posts. I'm at uni now in a computer lab so it's working fine but please excuse less comments until the computer fixes itself!

Trish Ryan said...

YOU went to V.S., bought a striped bra and then wore it while singing and you call this a dull post???? WHO is this woman who got you into that store? She is my new hero...I must meet her!

I am so happy the Texans are taking such good care of you, both the ones you're related to and the ones who are new to knowing how worth loving you are.

Rock on, sister friend.

LEstes65 said...

Jane: you always get me. That helps SO much.

Kristen: Christian Lingerie - HAHAHAHA! I love it.

Angela: thanks, I don't feel so amazing. But hearing it helps.

Wanda: glad you're back. Missed you.

Ellesappelle: it's not the quantity of comments I count on. It's the fact that I know you.

Trish: Sandy is my God neighbor - the one God sent. We both prayed for good neighbors and He plopped her 3 doors down! And you WILL love her - get down here.

Stacy said...

Creaky houses. No fun :(

It's hilarious that Liam wants to learn Latin. Tell him to become a professor when he grows up. The girls will love it. (Okay, don't tell him the last part until he hits adolescence and can appreciate it more.)

I find Victoria's Secret to be very discouraging. The bra companies of the world don't seem to think 34DD is a real size for some reason.

Homemade macaroni and cheese is the best. I have a cookbook that is solely devoted to mac & cheese recipes.

LEstes65 said...

Stacy: ahhh to have your problem... (I kid)

Kendra said...

have i told you that I have a couple of very special friends that ask about you all the time? You are not the only one with a great prayer group, dear cousin! I shared some of your thoughts with my friend, Kim, last night. She has been and continues to pray for you. Now she is "updated" on where your heart is, and praying accordingly. You are loved by so many who have never laid physical eyes on you. Hope you feel that love like a warm blanket tonight while you sleep! Tell the sweet boys big hello's from here!