Lofty Goal: Poorly Executed (A Meme)

I saw this meme out on Ellesappelle's & Stacy's sites. I love the meme. And - although I haven't read all of the books they mention - I got a lot of their life lessons references. I mean, with many books, you'd have had to live under a rock to not have some snippets fall into your head. And, though I have lived in many places, under a rock is not one of them.

So I'm taking on the meme. Even though I, a lowly math/physics/compSci college drop out, don't really have at all the same tastes in reading material, I'm giving it a shot. And it was a challenge. Because the books I have read? Well, I doubt anyone reading these blogs would have read them or would get the references. But I dug up a few that some of you might get.

Here we go.

Things I learned from reading.

1. To be a total class act, do the following: Survive a public divorce from a public sports hero where he and his new musician girl thing are plastered on magazines and are made a celebrated celebrity couple. Write a book about surviving the first year of divorce and never even mention either of the two afore mentioned people.
   'Happily Ever After' by Kristin Armstrong
2. If your livestock lives in the house with you? You'll probably wipe out more than 3/4 of an indigenous population when you land on their beaches.
   'Guns, Germs & Steel' by Jared Diamond
3. Never eat anything bigger than your head.
   'Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head & Other Drawings' by B Kliban
4. This is advice for anyone traveling to India, Bangladesh or any other country with man-eating tigers: If you see a live tiger? Just have your parents with you. Upon seeing them, it will immediately turn into a stuffed animal. No one has to die. It's a beautiful solution.
   'The Days Are Just Packed: A Calvin & Hobbes Collection' by Bill Watterson
5. Don't discount a book just because the author looks like your fashion & style nemesis.
   'The Power of The Praying Wife' by Stormie O'Martian
6. NEVER forget your towel.
   'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams
7. Just because you can write a killer book doesn't mean it needs a follow up.
   All sequels to 'The Sword of Shannara' by Terry Brooks
8. Don't skip the forward. You don't want to admit you thought it was real.
   'Why Cats Paint' by Heather Busch & Burton Silver
9. I have a brick of cheese in my pants.
   'I, Gregory' by Marc Hempel

There you have it. Little gems I've picked up along the way in my pursuit of the literary lobotomy.