Sunday, July 29, 2007

Random Thoughts on Divorce...

A full throttle confessional is coming. But I'm too tired at the moment. I just verbally expressed said confessional to my sister & parents. Nothing horrid. I'm so transparent, I'm sure most of you have already figured a lot of it out and are kindly holding your tongue until I am able to stop fooling myself. That's for tomorrow, perhaps.

So here are some random thoughts I just had on the subject of divorce. Thought I'd share them with you.

  1. I'm tired of hearing "...well, they were having trouble [in their marriage]..." as this kind of all encompassing excuse for why someone might cheat or just bail out of a marriage. Like it's supposed to make me go, "Ooooh...trouble! Why didn't you SAY so?!" Your marriage is a little difficult, is it? By all means, walk away. Wouldn't want you to have to exert any kind of effort or anything. Wouldn't want you to actually live up to that whole "in good times and bad" part of your vows. It's like a "Get out of jail" card for cowards. Or maybe that's just me.
  2. I think less people would get divorced if you had to have a whole unwedding ceremony. You'd have to fly everyone in that had been at the wedding. And all of the kids that have entered the world since then. You'd have to recant your vows in front of all of them. You bet your bippy you'd have to feed them all - and well! AND - here's the clincher - you'd have to return all the wedding gifts...or cash of equal value. Yah, I'm thinking that might make a few people think twice.
  3. I think I've said this before - and recently. But marriage vows for the faint hearted should change the "...until death do us part" part to "...until I find this union inconvenient."
  4. Contrary to the above ravings, I don't think every marriage should stay together. I don't believe in staying in a marriage if one party has broken the marriage covenant. I guess I'm just surprised at how many people refuse to fight to save their marriage. Goodness, why bother getting married in the first place? I really honestly wonder that.
  5. And along those lines, I think too many people treat marriage like some kind of extended dating. If it doesn't work out, we'll just divorce. No biggie. I mean, are you just getting married so your mom will stop making cracks about "not buying the cow if they can get the milk for free"?
But what do I know. Don't worry - I'm not becoming bitter. I'm just enjoying a little sarcastic observational humor at the moment.

4 comments:

Jane said...

Amen, sister!! Here's the #1 offensive comment that people say to me about divorce:

"oh, your so pretty and nice. You'll get remarried again in no time at all!".

OK, just let me choke those people NOW. I also have to be subjected to the daily stories from my mother about how "so and so's niece" in her bridge group found the perfect husband on match.com.

I can't wait to read your confessional.

Love you lots!!

Trish Ryan said...

Man - you are truly brilliant. It so sucks that it's taking all this gut-wrenching pain to bring it out, but you have a GIFT for putting your finger right on the larger problem in a way that isn't just about you, but about all of us. God is doing something huge in you, my friend. You've got that "I'm gonna kick your butt, but you'll be glad I did" ability. The world is better because you're in it. Keep on.

Brenda-Mom said...

What is happening is that you are being equipped and prepared to be an incredible blessing to many many people before, during and after a divorce. That is the amazing way God works the good in the bad.
You are going to be a GREAT blessing to so many!
Brenda

ellesappelle said...

A little sarcastic observational humour never goes astray.