Friday, April 06, 2007

An Aside - My Needs...

I read a really fun thing over on Stacy's and Ellesappelle's sites. Stacy actually tagged me so I'm taking it!

Need to set priorities? Need to narrow things down into what you really need? Google can help you! Just put in your first name and the word "needs" and hit search. Google will put it all in perspective for you.
[Note: I spent my life lamenting that you could never find L.y.n.e.t.t.e referenced in modern pop culture or on mugs, t-shirts, bracelets, etc. With the start of Desperate Housewives, L.y.n.e.t.t.e has become a household name. So most of my hits come from comments about the character, L.y.n.e.t.t.e Scavo. Which made it rather fun because she's a total nut job like every L.y.n.e.t.t.e I've ever met!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to put him in a nursing home or something.
[Don't worry dad, this is about a husband, not you!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to drive now.

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs a reliable babysitter.
[Oh honey, you ain't just whistling Dixie!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to return to her no-nonsense child rearing.
[...much to my kids' dismay...]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs a Knight of the Round Table (preferably Lancelot) to rescue her sister.
[My sister will be shocked to hear it. As will her hubby!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs pure oxygen periodically throughout the day and night.
[You know, this idea isn't half bad. I'd probably wake up much less crabby!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to bash that psycho ladie's head in.
[I was just saying this to a coworker...and the person that posted this needs spell checker.]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs drugs! Really badly!
[...and by "drugs" I do hope they mean CHOCOLATE!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to stop teaching people lessons.
[Hmmm...humorous yet strangely poignant. I must think on this one.]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs her crack.
[Don't even go there.]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs a quick and easy 'glam' makeover.
[There would be nothing "quick" nor "easy" about such a makeover. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. Does that count?]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to grow a frakking spine.
[Ok, I'm gonna digress here. First, I have a spine. Ask my husband. But I really can't stand people who try to use silly alien swear words from Battlestar Galactica as if it's real English. It's not cool. It's not hip. I love the show - dearly. But even I think you're a total dork for attempting to use this in your every day language. I don't care if it has made its way onto Wikipedia. We're on Earth. We're Americans. We speak the king's broken English. We don't say "frakking" unless we're joking. Please join the rest of us in some semblance of reality. And my tangent is done.]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs some help.
[Talk about the understatement of the century!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs a new Lexus.
[I'd settle for a fully loaded Accord. But sure, I'll take one.]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to go to the dreaded grocery store.
[Dreaded? Did something happen at my local HEB superstore? Have my friends behind the deli counter had enough of people asking for multiple "samples" just to get a free meal? Have they taken the store hostage? Has there been horrible accident in the scrap booking section? Did they run out of die-cast models from the movie Cars? Oh what has happened to my wonderful grocery store?!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e really needs to go out to get some drinks with a few old friends.
[And by "drinks" we mean Dr. Pepper or Coke. I gave it up until Easter and, dude, I'm totally Jonesin'!]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to stop acting like a mug.
[I love this because it resurrects the phrase "mug". How did we lose this adjective? Can't you just hear James Cagney saying something like, "Why you dirty mug!" I refuse to stop acting like a mug solely for the chance to be referred to as a "mug"! BRING BACK THE MUG! I must get out more.]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to put on a good show.
[Every day, my friends. Every day.]

L.y.n.e.t.t.e needs to work.
[Good point. My lunch hour is almost over.]

Stacy already tagged Sarakastic. So I'll tag Beck and anyone else that wants to take it. I'd love to see all your results!


Sarakastic said...

I think you have the best one of these I've read so far, google loves you!

Stacy said...

I love the pictures. They really bring your advice session to life.

I believe a haircut is the very definition of a "quick and easy" makeover.

ukrainiandiva said...

Stop being such a dirty mug.

Just for you.

ellesappelle said...

I agree. 'Mug' is a great word.

Kendra said...

Those were funny . .