So, as you can see, we will most likely be derailed from the blog's initial purpose for a while. I imagine there will be quite a bit to post about The Boy and Lil Bro in the coming weeks. But thanks for baring with all of the tangents and digressions.
The future-ex was dropped at the airport today. He's going to stay w/ his sister for a week in order to give me a cooling off period. It will allow me to get through the nastier and initial emotions of the whole mess. In the mean time, I meet w/ counselors and lawyers. I have to hunt down a child psychologist to help me formulate what we'll tell the kids.
My Mom is coming today. Can't wait. Big Sis will pick her up and bring her up. The Ridiculously Tall Brother-In-Law will be here, too, along with their dog Sid (as in Vicious - a joke because he's so cute and sweet). So I will be surrounded by people who know how to value me.
For some reason, this quote from The Ten Commandments has been running through my head today. Moses is saying this to his former love, Nefretiri:
"The man stupid enough to use you as a footstool isn't wise enough to rule Egypt."
It gives me a little giggle when I think of it in my current context.
I actually got on here not to kvetch and be petty. But to share with you something my beautiful cousin Kendra sent me last night. It made me cry - in a nice way.
“For your Maker is your husband – the LORD ALMIGHTY is his name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit – a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God.
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will NOT BE SHAKEN nor MY COVENANT of peace be removed", says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
God is being very faithful to me right now. I am in a constant state of having to ask him to remove painful thoughts or spiteful thinking from my mind, to stop the flood of weeping that threatens to overwhelm when I need to function for my boys, to just dull the pain that is so real and palpable, to just get me through each moment. AA didn't quite have it exactly right - it's really every second at a time.